[oweirdo]

Just want some advice.
My MIL (Memaw) has had lunch since before I was married to Mikey. Its always been around 1, depending on the game. My SIL's Mom has always had a dinner for her family. So SIL and family would come over to Memaw's house for lunch, then to her parents house for dinner. This year her Mom decided to have lunch My SIL will not come eat lunch with us, she is going to her moms house. Memaw is OK with that, however SIL wants to take her DH and kids with her. I understand this, family day. Memaw is not OK with her son not being here. She wants him to come to her house, while his wife and kids go to her parents house. Memaw and the other MIL have never gotten along, I have to admit the other lady is hard to get along with, I have know them as long as I can remember.
I don't want to take sides with either side, I want to make peace. Is there anyways to make this blow over? So that our lunch is not full of anger?

[mcmama]

Wonder why SILs mom did that? Think she wants to break away from having to accomodate?

I don't see that you have to do anything. You really can't make it blow over. It's between them. Make no comments. If they start gossiping, change the subject or say well, lets not let them ruin a great lunch!

[QueenAngie]

Many families alternate one side even years
and the other side odd years for the holidays.

Others have one big dinner on Thanksgiving, and then another one on Friday night or Saturday with the inlaws.

Having had a particular plan in place that works for your family
for several years, the lunch here & the dinner there, then a change occurs & suddenly
turns things into a family crisis.

You know, everybody could be invited (family, inlaws, outlaws, everybody) to one big dinner that would solve the problem.
Even people who do not get along (MIL to MIL) could make the effort to enjoy the day and 'share' the kids & grandkids.

My last night:
I have to agree with McMama, do not get involved in this arguement.
It is not yours. It is your brother & his wife's issue.

[oweirdo]

I guess you right Janet, this is the first years at least in 10 that we wont all be together. even with us in Victoria, Memaw in Collage station, and everyone else in Austin we all got together. I know there are going to be things said, no one in the family likes SIL and with her taking their brother away they are going to bad mouth her the whole time
My little SIL, who is actually DH sister, wants to call her big brother and try to convince him to come over..... I just have a feeling that this Turkey Day will not be a good one If I start getting upset I will say hormones
We tried that Angie, but they have a ton of family that comes to their house too. Most are not "nice" people. I would not have them around my kids.
My Mom comes to our lunch, and that works out fine. I am trying to stay out, must stay our of this!

[Alejandros Mommy]

HugZ Ollie...I nunderstand the whole family thing...my SIL has these problems with her in-laws too. I hope turkey day isn't bad for you and that everyone remembers what this day is for.

[pattiewrites]

I agree that you should stay out of it. I've even said those words in family situations, "Sorry, I'm out of this one!" It's a no win situation because neither will see the other's side. Your MIL wants her son there every year, but having everybody together for the past ten years is really good. My mom hasn't had that. Neither has my MIL. Your SIL could try to find a middle ground, but if the whole family hates her and talks about her, she may just not care at this point. That's how I would feel if my in laws were doing that. They could eat without us for all eternity! The best thing for you to do is get out of the way and let them fight it out. Unless it's going to completely ruin your holiday. In that case, I'd ask them to please act like adults for one day for the sake of a peaceful holiday. They can fight on Black Friday while you go shopping!