[beth]

For the latest fascinating research on the link between paternal behavior patterns and postnatal depression, look for my blog http://mental-health.families.com/bl...tal-depression

Best wishes, Beth

[jonpaul]

Once again us dad's get the blame!

But on a serious note, this makes a lot of sense. Prescibing drugs for post natal depression should always be a last resort, only for cases where self harm may occur if the problem is not resolved.

Many mothers today lack the support network that was common in the past. Families are often more distant and less involved in daily life. A couple of generations ago it would not be uncommon for sisters, aunts, mums and other friends to all be very close at hand when a new mum needed support. Sadly this is not true today, and us men need to step in and be the support that a mother needs.

My wife is currently dreading my return to work in a couple of weeks (Benicio was born on 7th June ) as her family are all in Brazil. Although most poeple would expect a mother to be able to look after a child on her own, mums do need support, both emotional support and help with tasks around the house. Today we went out together to search for clubs and groups that offer this support, or at least provide an opportunity for mums to get together while their children play. Having someone to talk to makes a lot of difference.

[PapaBubba]

"Fathers and Postnatal Depression"... simple if you're the guy, you're at fault. Deal with it. As a guy whose gone through it twice now and am getting ready for the third go round, I understand that she will get upset at what seems like nothing... the only way to survive it is to cowboy-up, accept responsibility and get on with your day. Sure it might not have anything to do with you in the slightest - just say you're sorry and press on.

The thing that will really get you is that she will not even remember most of these times nor that she even got that emotional. Sure this may not be typical just calling them as I have lived them. Only when she saw a home movie did she get a glimps into what I went thru... I do not suggest you try to catch it on tape either. I am only mentioning it as that is how I found out she didn't realize what she was going through and how I was handling it.

Take comfort in knowing that other fathers recognise what you are going through and may even give you a nod of understanding when and why we cowboy up.

[beth]

Originally Posted by PapaBubba

"Fathers and Postnatal Depression"... simple if you're the guy, you're at fault. Deal with it. As a guy whose gone through it twice now and am getting ready for the third go round, I understand that she will get upset at what seems like nothing... the only way to survive it is to cowboy-up, accept responsibility and get on with your day. Sure it might not have anything to do with you in the slightest - just say you're sorry and press on.

The thing that will really get you is that she will not even remember most of these times nor that she even got that emotional. Sure this may not be typical just calling them as I have lived them. Only when she saw a home movie did she get a glimps into what I went thru... I do not suggest you try to catch it on tape either. I am only mentioning it as that is how I found out she didn't realize what she was going through and how I was handling it.

Take comfort in knowing that other fathers recognise what you are going through and may even give you a nod of understanding when and why we cowboy up.

Postpartum depression is nobody's fault, neither the mother's nor the father's. If your partner has already experienced it twice, there is a high likelihood she will again, but it's certainly not a given. If she is getting excellent prenatal care and support, both physical and emotional, she may well sail through the after birth period with minimum problems. You do sound like you have some anger regarding your experiences with postpartum depression, but I hope that you do see that it is a real illness and on equal footing with physical illnesses. Reassurring your partner that you will be there for her while she is pregnant and after the birth with help to lower her stress levels. This in turn will assist with a happier postpartum period. She must be very concerned that she will go through this hell again. I wish you both well with the birth of your third child.

[PapaBubba]

Thank you for your well wishes.

I am sorry if my post came across mean spirited or resentful. It wasn't intended to. All in all things went very well. As with life there are the occasional things that go wrong. Nothing serious or even to the point of being considered depression.

I've learned that it is better to let her vent at me and that I am not nessesarily supposed to fix something. I just need to listen and let her work something out verbally. Allowing the post-pregnancy hormones to get back to her normal levels is better than trying to win a dispute. Picking my battles and taking the blame for whatever is all part of the process. She is going through more and I don't need to stir things up.

[RichandLaura]

My wife and I went through this after our first child was born. It was very intense. We were able to get her help with her physician, and through counseling. Her doctor gave her medicine that helped her. The counseling helped both of us. Since that time we have had three other children and have had other trials and tribulations not related to post-partum depression. However, I think that experience helped us work through some of the later experiences that have been even more traumatic. Sounds like you are dealing well with your experience with it.