[an0n]

Facts:
Mother passed away when I was 10 years old.
Never knew my Father.
No Siblings
No help from grandparents children or relatives.
Moved in with grandparents right as my mom passed away.


Well as briefly stated above, I've been living with my grandparents since I was 10, my grandfather and grandmother never really got along with eachother, he would leave home for months at a time then come home. In my teens much of the responsibility of the house went on me when he was away and it was just myself and my grandmother, I would make dinner every night, once I could drive I would do all the errands, I pretty much took over the house.

I elected to attend community college since I was 18, it was local and I could continue to help around the house, I was relied upon to do errands and make dinner every night at 5:30, etc.. My grandfather had a stroke which forced him home fulltime for us to take care of him after he was a gypsy all his life and didn't do much for us besides pay the bills. This has added extra unwanted and unfair stress on both my grandmother and grandfather. He has been controlling all his life, neglecting to relocate out of a house that is much too big and expensive for elderly people and is no help with chores or errands, it usually ends up being more work to fix his mistakes than to do it ourselves.

Keep in mind, my grandmother was too busy taking care of me through my teen years to realize that she should have gotten a divorce from this man, and now she is stuck reluctantly caring for him. He blew all his money, while she has a sizable bank account and she sure as heck doesn't want to have that go on HIS nursing care for how awful he was to her.

Now I am 23years old, and just finishing my 2-year degree, it has taken this long because I've had to take semesters off to help her with my grandfather after numerous strokes and seizures. I'm at the point in my life where I need to move on with my education, if I went full time right now I'd be graduating at 25years old. I really want to get the ball rolling with my life and finish school already, but when I try to discuss it with my grandmother she gets all upset.

She doesn't want to be stuck in this house alone with him having to start over making dinners and doing errands, etc., and I won't be local to continue to do, neither will I have the time as a full-time student. There is no sense in bringing it up to my grandfather as he has the attitude where he can do stuff for himself, when really he cant. And bringing it up to my grandmother ends up with her being stubborn and saying with an attitude "go if you want, I'm not keeping you here." Which she isnt, but there is no way she is able to run the household alone, since my grandfather has early dementia and as mentioned earlier is not the best at completing tasks himself. I get blamed for her being in this house because when I was a teen I said I didn't want to move to florida because I didn't want to leave my friends behind, so she throws the fact that she would be somewhere else if it wasn't for me in my face.


So here I am stressed out, wondering how am I going to move on with my life, how can I seperate myself, not to be cold, but I can't sit around here helping them until they die, what if that is another 10years, I don't want to be over 30 graduating from college for the first time and entering the workforce for the first time. Someone might say maybe my life path isn't through education, maybe go get a full time job now and settle for that for the rest of my life, well I have a 3.8/4 GPA through high school and college and that would be a waste.

I just don't know anymore...I hate having so much expected of me, I don't want to think of having to abandon them, my grandmother most importantly, but I really need to move on with my own life.

I should also mention, I have nothing to my name, no friends to goto and live with as I lost them all along the way. I know no one, my only extended family if I left would be my peers at my next school.