[juicymom8]

I previously posted that my blood test for ds had come back positive and gave us a 1/20 chance for our baby to have downs. We had the genetic u/s and they saw no markers so it changed our chances to 1/40. We decided against the amnio because we still wanted our baby no matter what. I am not regretting not having the amnio done, but now that the new year is approaching I can feel myself getting more anxious. I cannot wait to see my baby girl, but I keep wondering if I will be able to care for her if she does have ds. We have not told our families because we did not want to worry them. I am now thinking that we should tell them there is a possiblity as my due date gets closer. I don't want everyone to come to the hospital and be shocked or surprised that the baby has ds. I feel absolutely horrible that I have had these thoughts. I want my baby no matter what but I have so many worries and concerns for her! DH is so calm about it and i am so emotional. I truly fear that I will not be able to enjoy the birth of my first baby because i will be thinking about: Is she going to have ds or not? Willl she be able to latch on? How will our families react to her?
I love my baby girl so much, but I just don't know how I will handle the wait now! I just need to get that off my chest. None of our friends know so i have no one to talk to about this and I am very scared and nervous.