[Annonymous_Kid]

OK, so I want to remain annonymous, hence the name just incase somebody see's this. I'm 14 and attend a secondary school near where I live. I hate it to be honest. I don't mind school itself, but the students ect. get to me. I'm the third smallest in the whole year group, and I always get picked on. Even if it's just little things, it adds up. Which results in me not wanting to go. That and the fact I just got a C in Maths, which is a pass, but I was looking for A's. It all builds up and I get aggravated and just want to lock myself up in my room, and not go to school or anything. It also gets me angry sometimes which if I'm honest results in violence with my family. I hate it so much, and there isn't anything I can do about it, it seems. I had some lady in my school today, talking to me, a teacher and my mum cause my attendence is way to low.

It really gets me down, and I've even had suicidal thoughts before. You might be wondering why I'm telling everyone this, and think I'm an attention seeker, it's just that I find it easier posting on the web really, cause chances are I'm not going to meet anyone from this site in real life.

I have a counciler that the school hooked me up with, but I can't really open up to anyone, and it's really embarracing. I dunno....

[swt1899]

Hey, I am a teacher and I teach kidos your age. I also remember clearly being in similar shoes as you... I'm not that old . I spent a lot of time in the counselor's office. It was hard to talk to them first because they are older, but eventually I opened up. I also had a teacher I could talk to as well. She was my math teacher. I spent a lot of time talking to her about all my issues too.
Kids are mean and any sign of difference in a person they will seek it out and make fun of it.... clothes, hair, if they are popular or not, shoes, their body type, etc. It isn't fair to you since I am sure you are a highly intelligent person from what you wrote.
Don't let all this build up. Talk to someone. Counselor, another teacher, a coach, etc. Just say "Hey, can I come by after school and talk to you sometime? I really need to." Teachers will listen. I've had a few kids come in and talk with me. Don't give up if they can't see you right then and there... keep trying.
Also find an outlet for your emotions. Music class, art class, theatre class, PE, etc. Talk with those teachers about your needs. They can help you. My outlet was art class. I lived for my 7th period art class. I couldn't wait to get there and draw, paint, sketch, etc. I continued it through high school... a great stress reliever.
Also remember time passes quickly. We all make it through our teen years. Hang in there. Soon you'll be on to the next grade. Keep your chin up. Talk to someone. Don't bottle things up. Hope this helps you out.

[mommy2067]

I think the pp (Leigh Ann-sw1899) had some great advice...please don't keep this all in...find somebody you trust and can confide in...Perhaps if you haven't already start keeping a journal and write down how you are feeling; how you react/respond in certain situs; things that go on through the day; whatever....you could rant in your journal; perhaps even draw...Keep us posted as to how things are going...you aren't alone...

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

I'm Mom to 2 boys now in college, but both were 14 yos once.

My older son was the always the one in his classes with the "opportunity to grow the most" in his class. Yes, he was the shortest, and one of the smallest.

He became good buddies with a really big football player in his class. The teasing stopped.

You need to speak to somebody. Be it the counselor, your teacher, maybe your youth minister, or a neighbor that is an adult.

Keeping the journal is also a good idea.

You have way too much energy and stress. Need to take up a physical sport - running, jogging, biking, or whatever you like.
And do it every day after school.

You also need to find another way to relieve stress, other than causing violence within your family. That is not healthy.
Throw a baseball - run and get it - throw it again.
Throw the ball against the garage. No glass windows though.

Throw a bag of marshmellows one at a time.
Or throw a bag of cotton balls one at a time.
Punch a pillow.
Punch a punching bag.
Do not punch your family or friends.

What is this about not attending school? Your 'job' every day Monday through Friday is to be at school early or on time.
Skipping school is not an option.

What kind of job will you get with no high school education?
Stay in school. Do your best.

Let us know how it goes.

[mrmnmom82]

This may seem like an unorthodox suggestion, so please other posters don't gang up on me! If you are able to communicate your situation to your family maybe you could consider finishing highschool at home, they have public school courses you can take from home. This is not a get out of school free card!! You would still have to get yourself up and accoplish assignments everyday. You seem bright and self motivated. Homeschool is not for everyone, but I think it may be worth considering. It's highshcool credits, the work is just being done from your home.

[Annonymous_Kid]

I used to be homeschooled, and kinda wish I was now, but it's hard to be over here.

School sucked today, I just hate the general buzz of noise, and found out that I am going on attendence report tomorrow, if I'm not in form.

[Annonymous_Kid]

Science lesson was horrible today. We were doing some work and finished early, so for 20 mins we were allowed to talk ect. Well, some idiot in my class rammed a spoon down a socket, then blew the fuse and took the socket off the desk to repair it. Everyone was watching, and I liked the person that sits next to this kid, so I try talking to him, and tryed helping the idiot out a little, and this kid keeps telling me to go away and that nobody likes me. I don't evn talk to this kid, and try to ignore him. But generally he's nice, and has quite a few friends. Then pretty much the whole class, minus 10 people, so 25 kids were just taking the mick, and a couple were throwing stuff. The teacher didn't really see, and I didn't bother telling her, cause it's embarrasing, and she's really nice. So I went round the the other side of the desk and tryed to offer a hand, then this other big kid just blocks me on purpose.

I got annoyed and realised that I couldn't do anything, apart from being the smallest there, there was too many of them, so go and sit down. Luckily my friend came over and sat next to me, I think he realised. And then other kids started throwung stuff at me.

It's not even like it's just a joke, just playing around with me or anything, cause after school he was talking to his friend, about how "stressed" he got me.

It's fricken annoying, the only thing I could do is move science class, but then I lose one of my three GSCE's I can get.

[mcmama]

Where is "over here"? Did you move recently?

Sounds to me like you've made a change, and you do not like it.

One of my sons went through the nobody likes you go away stuff. It seems to take on a life of its own once the bullies see results. He was lucky to have a teacher who showed him how not to attract negative people to himself - and choose the people he wanted to be with who would enjoy being with him. If you are new, that is very difficult. Before her, it was hell. As a family, we like to watch Invader Zim, because so much of that is what his school years were like before he went to a different school with better teachers. There's one episode called "A Room with A Moose" where all the kids on the school bus sit on the opposite side of wherever this one kid wants to sit. That actually happened to my son and his best friend - I was visiting the school that day, and I saw my son enter the classroom and everyone moved their desks away from him and his friend. The teacher did nothing. The Invader Zim cartoon was so silly, it was great to see him actually laugh at this. But it really hurt when it happened. Now he and this friend are grown up and still friends, and roomed together in college. They had a stuffed moose with walnuts in their room. Anyone asked, they told them this was a room with a moose. No one got the joke, but it didn't matter. One friend is more valuable than a bunch of snotty idiots.

Tell your counselor to look at this thread once you feel you can trust him or her. If it is easier to open up this way, then go for it. You can also journal on this site - and you can keep your journal to yourself, or only let certain people see it, or open it to everyone.

You did the right thing to walk away, and your friend did the right thing too. But my son has been in a situation where everyone started chucking stuff at him and his best friend, and no teacher did anything about it. Whether they're chucking stuff at you, or just chucking it, no teacher should be allowing a class to get that rowdy.

This is a tough year. Find what it is that matters to you. And work with the counselor, because once they know what is going on with you and the other kids, they can speak up on your behalf to other teachers. Dropping a class that you need and want is not the answer, especially if the reason is that you are being bullied.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, please don't act on them. Tell someone near you and get immediate help. Sometimes being pushed around can really put you over the edge. My son found that taking antidepressants from age 13-15 really helped get through that, and now he does not need them (he's 22) But his doctor very wisely put him on them then, because there is only so much a person can deal with all at once, and the medication helped him learn to manage his emotions, and his reaction to stupid nasty people.

You sound like a really bright person, and you do not deserve this crap.

[Annonymous_Kid]

Hmm, maybe. When I said "over here", I meant that homeschooling through these years are hard. But I guess I only started in this school halfway through year 8. I'm in year 10 now.

The teacher was kind of destracted on her part, because she was trying to prevent said idiot from electricuting himself.

School was generally better today. My friend sat with me again, and moved next to me, so I was just talking to him, people were throwing stuff, but I just acted like it wasn't happening. It was annoying, but it stopped after a while.

That cartoon makes me laugh, my sister has the box set.

[mcmama]

Acting like it isn't happening is a good way to get them to stop, eventually. They want to get a rise out of you, get you upset - isn't it stupid how some people think they can be cool, strong, powerful, etc by doing really dumb things?

We have the box set too. I don't know who has the stuffed moose now.