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Old 09-29-2008, 05:10 PM
stephanienminnesota
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Join Date: May 2007
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Default Feeling very guilty now

So, as most of you know the 3 boys have been staying with family while all this is going on with Julienne. I feel so guilty not being able to spend more time with the other 3 boys. I am unsure what to do about that b/c I do try to spend time with them and with Julienne but sometimes I don't get home from the hospital till like 9-10 at night and then they're in bed. I try to spend 1 on 1 time with each of them too and that sometimes is getting to be hard. Has anyone else gone through this before and can give me tips? I have spent time away from the boys before when Justin was born but then again he was in the hospital 4 days with me and then we went home together. This time it's like I try to be there when they wake up in the a.m. and then again in the afternoon but sometimes that doesn't happen. I feel like I am depriving them of at least 1 parent since Dad is nowhere around right now. Anyone have any ideas for me please let me know I would love to hear one.
  #2  
Old 09-29-2008, 05:31 PM
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Labhaoise
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Sorry I have no words of advice, just 's and prayers
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Old 09-29-2008, 05:38 PM
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QueenAngie
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Maybe spend more evening hours at home w/ the 3 boys when they are home from school.
And more daytime hours (when the boys are in school) at the hospital w/ your daughter.

Every mother feels pulled, when another baby is added to the family.

And do NOT feel guilty there is only one parent available for the four children.
We know who to blame for that one and it is not you at all.

Prayers for you and your children!
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  #4  
Old 09-30-2008, 05:23 AM
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2girls
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(((HUGS)))
Don't feel guilty.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
You are doing the best you can in the situation you are in.
If you can be there in the mornings and right before bed time that would be great. If you can't, it's not your fault. Soon everyone will all be home together. Just try and focus on the end result.
How is that little girl doing?
  #5  
Old 09-30-2008, 06:46 AM
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mommy2067
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I agree with the pps...solid words of encouragement and advice there...You are one mom just doing the best she can...it will all work out in the end and hopefully soon you will all be together under one roof and be the family you are meant to be....((((HUGS))))...How is sweet Julienne doing?
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  #6  
Old 09-30-2008, 07:39 AM
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Magic_Mikki
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Heather took the words right out of my mouth! You are only one mama, with four babies. They may wonder where mommy is right now, but in the long run, they will never remember that you were gone so much at this point. I know it is so hard for you not to be able to see them, but they're in great hands at your parent's house (right?) and you're doing the best you can.

What time of the day are all three boys at home at the same time? Maybe you could choose to be at home at that time of day, and then with Julienne during other times. I'm really sorry that you've got so much going on for you! I know this is so hard for you.
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  #7  
Old 09-30-2008, 09:22 AM
stephanienminnesota
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Julienne is doing pretty good given the circumstances. She is up to 2 lbs 10 oz. I was surprised (sp) by that. She is still on the breathing machine but the Drs. & Nurses say she could be off that machine within like 4-5 weeks. I do try to be home in the A.M. when they get up and I try to go home once in the afternoon/evening when they'd all be home since the older 2 are in school. Michelle~ The boys are staying at home and I have a cousin who flew in from Helena and said he'd stay as long as I need him here. I just wish this would all be over and we'd all be home. It's very exhausting.
  #8  
Old 09-30-2008, 09:27 AM
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DivasMomma
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soon enough she will be home with everyone...you are doing everything you can and they probably wont even remember these few weeks of their lives.

(((HUGS))) You are doing great and you are SO strong!!
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  #9  
Old 09-30-2008, 09:45 AM
jkvkdailey
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Stephanie - I'm glad to hear that Julienne is doing well. You know what, those boys are more resilient than you think. Don't be so hard on yourself! Make sure to share parts of your day with them, I'm sure they want to hear how their baby sister is doing. I'm sure you are being too hard on yourself. Just be there to kiss them each night (even if they're already sleeping), and things will turn out just perfectly!

Wish I could be there to help!

Kim
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