[KristynCrow]

Hi, I'm Kristyn Crow, the Special-Needs Parenting Blogger for Families.Com.
I'm wondering... how many of you readers are dealing with children who have learning disabilities, behavioral problems, or developmental delays? Are you worried about your child? What are your biggest struggles? Does it feel like you're all alone and nobody cares?
I know how you feel. My son is Autistic. And I have three other children with ADHD, and one with Juvenile Diabetes. Parenting is hard enough, but dealing with these additional problems can be exhausting. And the special education system can be so confusing!
Tell me what you're going through.

[HappyMomAnna]

Kristiana I am very sure that you and I will share several blogging topics.... It would be nice to have you guest post on the Adoption Blog and I think I might have a few small tips for some of the people over on your Special Needs Blog!
I have parented children with a variety of special needs...I will start with my biological kidos:
My oldest son is now 22 and he was born perfectly healthy and fine. He was TAG (Talented and Gifted) which in many ways can be a special need. But his real special needs happened in the blink of any eye when he was just 9 years old. We allowed him to go play Nintendo at a friends house on a Snowy Sunday and a few hours later we got the call he had been hurt. The other parents had given the boys sleds to play with on the streets...Our son hit a mailbox post at an estimated 70-90 miles an hour and severed his left leg. It was Reattached and we had many years of therapy and special physical needs. Actually, he still has needs and will likely have a hip replacement before he turns 30
My oldest daughter is now 21 and she was also TAG and believe this or not had some learning delays. She was gifted in some areas but had some hearing and speech difficulties which only compounded her delays. She has accomplished some wonderful things and will graduate college this June.
My youngest daughter was adopted at the age of 5 and she has some significant issues. She has been my little girl for three years and overcoming the emotional issues has set her back dramatically in all areas of education. She is turning 8 and on most days cannot read at all. We are currently waiting for neurological testing as it seems very possible she suffers from prenatal Alcohol Affects. It is difficult with her because it is hard to determine if her issues are related to trauma and abuse or prenatal exposure or what? But, one day at a time we chip away and work with her.
My Youngest son is the biological sibling adopted at the same time as his older sister. He was born addicted to heroin and had every other drug in his system. He turned four years old a few weeks ago and is developmentally delayed by 10 months over all. His delays are in speech, and a yet to be identified something which no one has yet figured out.... Some indication of Sensory Disorders are present but his behaviors are not fully consistent with sensory issues. This Tuesday he will have a 6-hour full assessment at the children's hospital for all areas of development.
He will also be having a sleep study done as it appears he may have a rare form of Narcolepsy induced by stress. He will fall asleep while getting stitches, or if there is something scary on tv or if his sister is having a screaming fit. I have never seen anything like this and have been baffled by his ability to turn himself off when under stress I had no idea there was a form of narcolepsy with this trigger.
Anyway.....I look forward to reading your blogs and can tell you there is real need in many areas for good solid advice and information. Thanks for blogging on such and important topic.

[KristynCrow]

Thanks for the vote of confidence. And wow! You've got your hands full. It sounds like your children are in very capable hands. What a blessing for them. I'd love to have your comments in my blogs.
I also have a couple of gifted children, one of whom has diabetes... which requires a lot of daily management. But he is a 4.0 whiz-kid who amazes me every day. My kids are a blend of everything... boys, girls, step-children, gifted, physical challenges, learning disabilities, and behavioral issues. So I feel like my parental abilities are being stretched every day.
I hope any other parents out there with challenges will chime in and share their stories!

[HappyMomAnna]

So where is everyone--we cannot be the only two parents who have "Special Kids!"

[MJ7]

Raises hand!
I have 2 special needs kids.
Oldest is 4 1/2 and has DSI (sensory integration dysfunction), most likely ADHD, and struggles with impulse issues as a result.
Youngest is 2 1/2 and is delayed in language by abou 8 mo.

Both boys were prenatally exposed to drugs and probably alcohol by their birth mothers. Both are in early intervention programs.

[KristynCrow]

How lucky your boys are to have a parent who loves them completely and unconditionally, is seeing that they get the help they need, and was willing to accept them challenges and all!
I would love to know more about your situation...how did you come to adopt these kids, and what has life been like? Are you satisified with their early intervention programs? What has been the most difficult part of this undertaking?

[matlee123]

My daughter was delayed by one year in everything. Consequently, she repeated Kindergarten. Now she is doing well and is so mature she talks like a 30 year old. She likes to pretend she doesn't know how to do something so we will do it for her. We became wise to this and now make her do her own work.

My son has Asperger's syndrome, high functioning Autism. He is also speech and motor delayed by about one year. He gets therapy from the local school district. We recently had to put him on medication for his life threatening fits. He is a new child now, but we still have challenging issues that are a struggle to learn to deal with. We were in denial for a long time and didn't realize how difficult our lives really were until someone else told us. It's pretty sad to realize that I thought monkey grunts, spinning, flapping, and running laps around the table every five minutes was normal. Not to mention the tantrums that sometimes turned violent. I felt like this disorder was sucking the life out of my son. Thank God for medication like Respiradol that gave me my son back.

[Merrymom4]

Hi everyone,
I have a two-year-old son with sensory integration dysfunction. Actually I came to this forum so that I could shout, "HELP!" I'm going to start a new thread for that. The thing I feel most often is desperation. I wonder if my son is trainable. He is so impulsive and cannot seem to control his urges. If he wants to go outside, he runs outside- in the rain, at night time, naked with nothing but snow boots on...it terrifies me. We live out in the country, surrounded by woods. Thankfully our dog watches out for him and barks to let me know that I have an escapee. I think I am going to have to buy locks for all interior doors in my house. He gets into soap and rubs it all over his head. He gets in closets and pulls down all the clothes. He pulls clothes out of drawers. He is bored to tears, it seems. Some days I just want to lock myself in my room and cry.
I feel like the other kids get neglected. They want me to sit and read with them or play a game and I cannot give them my full attention. (I really am venting here. It's been a rough morning.)
I love my son to pieces. He's sweet, he's smart and he's a little comedian. He loves to laugh and he notices everything. I want to help him and I want him to be the best that he can be.
My biggest fear is that we will never be able to teach him to control his impulses. How can he function if he can't do that? So, yeah, there's fear, there's desperation and there is a lot of frustration.
I am very thankful that I have a good support system. I couldn't do this without those that are in this with us. It's always good to know that there are others who understand what I'm feeling. I look forward to reading more of Kristyn's blogs!
Thanks for letting me vent,
Chrissy

[KristynCrow]

Hi MerryMom and Matlee, MJ7, Anna, and all you other super parents of special needs kids!
I can relate to the frustration and the exhaustion. I remember when my son Kyle was a toddler. Wow, that was tough. Screaming hysterically, biting himself, and constantly causing danger.
Do you have anyone who comes and gives you a breather from time to time? Have you got a respite care worker or a family member, or just a regular babysitter? That is so important. My mother used to say, "You can't give from an empty bucket." And these kids, loveable as they are, do drain you. I was able to get a babysitter for Kyle, and the state paid for it. She was a college student who was studying autism--a perfect fit! She came every Friday and stayed for several hours. Pure heaven! For at least a few hours a week, I could escape, and, hey, actually do something for myself. Who knew?
What about you, Anna? Have you got regular babysitting lined up? We moms have to look out for each other. I'm checking up on you now...I want you to all schedule some regular time off, to save your sanity.
Please vent anytime! We all understand what you're going through. This is tough, but these kids sure need us. And it does get better, I promise!

[MichelleBrooks]

Hi everyone
I have three teenage/young adult children. I recently discovered that my youngest, a 16 year old boy, is practically a juvenile delinquent. The police showed up at our house with a search warrant for stolen electronic equipment. They found two - but these are actually our own property and we have proven this with receipts. However, my son is still under investigation because, according to the police, there are other issues involved of which we are not aware and that he was not investigated simply because of this one accusation. Now I realize that my son has criminal tendencies. I know he acts completely different with us at home then he does with his friends. At home he is an angel. He knows how to play it up, I guess. The older kids are completely not like this. Let me mention that we are a middle class suburban family, totally average white collar professionals. No poverty, no abuse, no divorces. The only thing that could possibly be influencing his behavior is the fact that he has some learning disabilities and trouble concentrating. He takes Ritalin. What do I do with this son of mine?
Your advice is welcome, thanks.