[venting]

1st post and maybe this is just me venting(pun intended). Don't know how to start so here it goes. Been married for 6 years and together 9 years. Great wife that does many things well so I think I shouldn't feel this way. Since having our son, my wife has gained a lot of weight. She's 5'8 and weighs 250ish(size 22). She jokingly blames my son for putting on thw weight. When I first met her, she had a knockout body like serena williams or tikara. She was thick but she was hot. Not so much anymore.
Sex has become actually disgusting. She gets out of breath and starts to wheeze. This should be funny but it really hurts my heart. I don't want to have sex with my wife anymore. I'm in the military and just came back from a 8 month deployment. She gained more weight. We only had sex 3 times since I been back(2 months). She asked if I had an affair(which I hadn't) but I never asked her if she did. I never told her why, but it was because I was hoping someone else was making her happy because I can't do it anymore. She's a great mom and always takes care of the house while I'm deployed. I've often thought about going to a psychatrist or hypnotist so they could make me accept her as she is.
I've tried the positive reinforcement, working out together and everything else. Nothing seems to work. I just honestly don't want to be touched anymore. I've taken up watching insane amounts of porn which I feel bad about afterwards because that's what my wife is(supposed to be) for. I not looking for someone to tell me to stray. I want my wife back. I want to be attracted to her again. I've even made the offer of buying her new clothes and stuff for every 10 lbs she loses. Offered to pay for surgery. She wants none of it.
When I offered to work out with her, she said "working out makes me bulk up". I'd rather take a amazon-she-woman than what I have now. If I could pin this down to anyone thing-I think it's tv. She stays up late watching reruns on tvland till 2 or 3 then wakes up at 6ish. She struggles through the day and has no energy for working out. While the rest of us are asleep, she munches along on her "healthy"snacks-a whole bag of trail mix isn't very healthy. I've told her this stuff all the time but she doesn't listen
I'm not religous at all but I do believe in fate. I really feel this is my prison that I was meant to have. I really predict there will be a time where we get divorced over this. I try to keep positively looking at her good things but it's getting rough. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.