[Kirst10]

I am 42 currently dating a friend (42) whom I have know over 30 years. He has been separated 6 years, has 2 teenage kids 50%. I have never been married but dated a man 7 years who never proposed but told me regularly he wanted to make a future with me.

Mr D and I have been dating now 1.5 years. Things happened very quickly as we knew each others background well. By 6 months were talking marriage and purchasing a home together.
He told me at that point he needed to get his divorce finalized. He told me he thought it would be about $500 and some signitures taking a few months. I asked 3 months later and he said they had just signed some docs and that there was a 90 day processing period and he would be divorced by Feb. 1.

Last night I asked about it and was told that his wife has the docs and he is waiting for her to bring them to him for his sign. After they both sign it should take another 30 days.

He does not want to push her to sign the docs as he doesn't want to upset her. There is nothing wrong with her life she owns a house with the man she left her husband for. He also said that he is currently broke and can't really afford the $500.

I am concerned he is not serious about a future with me. Money is tight but in existance. He paid on Friday for his son to take a school trip. That was a deposit of $150 on a $700 trip.

Our plan was to buy a house by spring or be moving in early summer at the outside.

I feel that I am not important to him and he is not truly interested in a longterm future with me simply dating.

Am I crazy?

[marilynmonroe]

Hi,
I wouldn't say you are crazy. I think you just put the cart before the horse. Both men and women should wait to date someone who isn't officially divorce - for your own well being. Don't mean to sound like a man-basher here but I believe most men (99%) will say anything to get a woman. Perhaps your boyfriend's promises were empty.
Also, I don't know what it means that your boyfriend is concerned about upsetting his almost x-wife. That doesn't seem normal to me but maybe I'm off base on that.
Good luck

[Magic_Mikki]

Yikes. Sounds like a very sticky situation. Obviously, all of us here at Families doesn't know the exact situation and only you will ever know it, but from what you describe, I would hold off on moving any further with this man. His heart may be in the right place, but his actions don't really match the words, ya know? (Of course you know. That's why you're here, right?? ) His delaying the divorce (even though it is unintentional) don't exactly scream Commitment to you.

Anyway, I hope things work themselves out for you! You two have been together long enough and seem to have a solid enough relationship where maybe it would be beneficial to you to speak up. It seems like communication on how you feel about his situation is being neglected. Hope to hear from you soon with good news!