[Muslim Mom]

Greetings of peace.

Do you have Muslim neighbors? Do you know them well? If not, why not?

I'd like to hear from the folks who are curious about Muslims and their practices but may feel too shy to ask questions, worried that they may offend or appear ignorant of what others may think of as obvious.

I'd love to read the questions you've always wanted to ask...

I'd also like to know what you think of the Muslim lady you may see in your neighborhood, school, or workplace.

Thanks!

Muslim Mom

[hennypenny]

No Muslim neighbours, but a good number in our town in general. I used to know a lovely Muslim lady at our local playgroup, but I don't go there at the moment (my daughter got too old, and now I'm just waiting til I have this next baby and I'll go back)

I don't think too much about thier practices, but I would hope if I had a Muslim in my home, they would help me to be aware of what types of food to serve or not to serve, so they can feel welcome.
I used to work for a Muslim lady, I didn't like her very much, but I don't think it was because she was a Muslim, lol. It was just a personality clash, as with anyone else. I have been in contact with many Muslims over the years, not closely, but as aquaintences, etc. Most seem very nice The Muslim lady at playgroup I probably spent more time talking to than any others, again, I think it was down to our personalities just meshing well. I have to admit, sometimes I feel that perhaps some Muslim women or families in general aren't really interested in spending too much time with an agnostic such as myself, it's just an impression I get, I could be wrong But are polite anyway.

[Muslim Mom]

Originally Posted by hennypenny

I don't think too much about thier practices, but I would hope if I had a Muslim in my home, they would help me to be aware of what types of food to serve or not to serve, so they can feel welcome.

I feel that perhaps some Muslim women or families in general aren't really interested in spending too much time with an agnostic such as myself, it's just an impression I get, I could be wrong But are polite anyway.

Food: Just don't serve alcohol or pork. That sounds easy, just leave ham and bacon off the menu and serve juice, right? Well not really...the only problem with most non-Muslims don't know that many prepared foods contain pork products–the big culprits are gelatin and lard. Many years ago as a brand new Muslim I had no idea that Jell-O was made from pork, really, it just never occurred to me. I had been feeding it to my poor Muslim husband for years and he was clueless since he grew up with "jelly" which in India was made from non-pork ingredients. So, as we entertained our first Muslim guests in our home, I served a beautiful dessert that used strawberry Jell-o. The guests had no idea and I had no idea and we all ate heartily. I only realized it as I remembered that night years later (after I had learned!) and I was horrified! I feel pretty confident God knows I didn't know better and in Islam it's our sincere intentions that count, not our innocent mistakes.

Regarding Muslims not wanting to associate with an agnostic...I think you are probably just responding to the feeling that any person of strong faith practices may not understand you, someone who is "on the fence" at this point of your life regarding faith. I guess unless you go around endlessly talking about your belief system, Muslims could really care less. Immigrant Muslims often feel unwelcome and unwanted in western society given the political climate, and will stick to themselves for comfort. But you would be safe to assume they would be most appreciative of your friendship overtures. A friendly gesture will go a long way. I bet that you'd be amazed at the hospitality returned from a simple invitation for coffee at your home.

[twinzplus3]

I have a group of Muslim ladies that we meet with in the park during the summers. They are from Yemen. They have been very sweet to us. Most of them do not speak English. . .one of them speaks moderately well. Her name is Zohar? (I have no idea how to spell it. . . but I can pronounce it!?)

Anyhow, during the spring, Zohar and I meet and she is teaching me Arabic (--did I mention she's patient?) and I am helping her and some of the other women with English.

We meet for the purpose of discussing religion actually (except for Zohar and I who meet seperately to work on Arabic/English as well). It has been interesting and intellectually challenging.

[mcmama]

My area is so plural in races and ethnicities that it is difficult to see who the muslims are unless they wear a head covering. For many people except those who attend the local catholic church, discussion of religion just doesn't happen. And among the catholics it is more like what time do you go to mass, whose turn is it to set up bingo, and which school are you sending your child to.

There is a large orthodox jewish eruv on the other side of town - I never had a problem asking questions of them, and they are very forward with explaining thier ways to others. Most are native english speakers, many from the NY metro area.

I have noticed sitting in a restaurant and seeing a woman with a head covering pass by that people who are not wearing the type of clothing that identifies them as being part of a religious group will start to make comments about "those people" and "those women". The assumption is that any woman wearing a head covering is being oppressed. I find it odd that the same assumptions are not made about orthodox Jewish women who wear scarves, floppy hats, and baseball caps. I've tried to argue this point, but no one really wants to hear it. Apparently, all Jewish women are "educated, at least". So I guess the perception is that muslim women who cover are not - even though many of them are educated, and succeed in professions.

I have had muslim clients, and learned about approaches to financing, and the importance of family life. Also that some men do not want to shake hands with women, but they are not being disrespectful, it is just their way. But some people have interpreted it as disrespect of all women.

I did attend an interfaith end of ramadan dinner, which was very interesting, mostly Turkish people. But in general, most folks are very shy about discussing religion.

[twinzplus3]

That's interesting--because of course we're quite 'plural' too. Our religious discussions started in part as a desire to learn each other's languages and in part as an effort in our community towards understanding. So we will pick a theme. . .um. . .let's say "Who is Jesus" and discuss and share who we believe Jesus is. That's actually much heavier than typical although we have broached that. We've also held discussions on commonalities that we feel we share. . .for example modesty.

I will say though that it's not like we sat down and started shooting the breeze about religion. It is my perception that they really had to get to know us well before they were willing to talk about any aspect of their Muslim life and not feel like they were going to be attacked or that we were out to convert them. The goal is to provoke thought and that's mutually understood.