[alpinegrandma]

We have helped raised our granddaughter for the first 7 1/2 years of her life. Her mom, who has never really succeeded at anything, has married a man with a 9 year old daughter. They up and moved to Missouri with little to no warning. Our granddaughter is devastated, as are we. My husband is in poor health and this has sent him into a depression and we are both getting help. Granddaughter calls and cries and cries. Her mom promised she can come for summer vacation and has now, via a test message, informed us that it is not in granddaughter's best interest and that she will be sending us a letter explaining her reasoning. I guess I just need someone to tell me why I allowed myself to be used as a babysitter for 7 1/2 years. I know the answer in my mind is that I did it so granddaughter could have a good stable life....and now she is gone and we can't see her.
I just don't understand....and worry so for granddaughter who asked me not to pack up her room and send her things to her because she will be back when she can come back and live with us. I know not what to do....
Thanks for listening.

[mcmama]

I guess you should wait for the letter. A shame she cannot just tell you. But your first sentence says it all about how you feel about her. Maybe she wants to back off from being a disappointment to you?

Meantime, maybe you'd like to adopt these people?

I really do understand your feeling of being used. And with your husband in poor health, perhaps it is time for your daughter and her new husband to help out or be flexible. Are you concerned that the move was to isolate her from any family intervention? Or does it appear to be a good marriage?

[alpinegrandma]

I know my first sentence is harsh but since she was 15, she has been troubled and we have done everything possible to help, including financial help. Once we stopped proving funding to her, and used up all of her friends, she contacted an old boyfriend, and they decided to start anew in Missouri; both his child and her child were taken from their families...their stability.
My other two adult children are both wonderful people and none of our family understands what or why this has happened.
I don't know if it is a good marriage as I really don't know the new husband or his child. I think they both are looking for something but, in my humble opinion, moving from the stability of family to a far away place to live in a rural area in a very small trailer is just so devastating...two people who can't keep jobs is a recipe for disaster. My daughter knows what bad health her dad is in but they moved anyway. Thank God we have two other children that provide us with such tremendous emotional support.
We await the letter but I will not read it. My eldest will read it and determine what should be shared with me and hubby.
I just ache for my granddaugher and her sadness. We last spoke with her last week and the sadness in her voice is overwhelming.
Thank you so much for listening and sharing your thoughts.

[mcmama]

Keep in touch with your granddaughter. It will mean the world to her. Even if you think you are being forbidden, keep in touch.

[alpinegrandma]

I will give it my all. I got her a cell phone before she left programmed to only call our home; of course, her mother doesn't allow her to use it very often. I will continue to send her cards and little things and just pray my daughter will give them to her. I just don't wnat her to think we have abandoned her; deep in my heart, I know she misses us terribly and will survive this. Thanks so much for your kind words. It means a lot to me.

[browneyes01]

I agree try to keep in touch with your grand daughter, and await the letter your daughter will send it is a shame that she simply cannot tell you what it is you did wrong.