[twinzplus3]

I just want to clarify something. There is no such thing as an easily reversible vasectomy. I believe what you all are referring to is the vas-clip. First of all, it is not as effective as a "traditional" vasectomy. So if you really don't want to be pg that's not your best option. Secondly, there are abolutely no guarantees--even with the vas clip--that it is reversible w/o surgery. Thirdly, even if a man did have it reversed. . .there is no guarantee that his fertility would return. (This is true of conventional vasectomies as well.) The vas clip is not widely available in the US, and is not covered by some insurance carriers (bc it is not as effective). Also, FYI, it is law in some places that you have to wait 30 days after the initial consultation before having the procedure done.

I agree other pp that with Kaylee so young, that is a rather hasty decision. You may not be ready for another one now but what about when Kaylee is 5 or 6? It is hard to think that far down the line. . .but in theory it's possible you could want another one in several years. . .or even a few years. No doubt, the first year of infanthood is intense. . .I imagine it would be more so with a child who has special needs. But it gets easier.

Have you thought about VCF? Or Plan B? (Although Plan B works like the pill-- so I'm sure if that would mess you up or not. . .I imagine it would depend on how much sex you have Point is, you cannot undo a vasectomy easily, and even if you do, you cannot be assured that his fertility will return. Will there be harm in waiting a year or even two and seeing how you all feel when Kaylee is older and life is easier to manage? Just a thought.

[mcmama]

I know the feeling about kids after 40- my parents were older. But then, some people live a very long time! There is just a whole lot we don't know!

[PamalaLauren]

With Kaylee though life will never be easy to manage. She's on a strict diet and medicine regime and she has to be constantly monitored and this will not change with age nor will it get easier, odds are it will get harder as she becomes aware of what's going on. She's okay with it right now but it's not a pleasant experience getting your blood taken several times a day even right now. She just tolerates it because she doesn't know any better. When she can start "fighting" back I imagine all sorts of issues will happen.

[twinzplus3]

Life may never be easy to manage with her in the same way that life has gotten easier for me as my kids have gotten a little older. However, I imagine that some things with her will get easier. She will eventually sleep better, she won't want to cling to you 24/7. I mean just general baby things will get easier. She may surprise you and not fight. . .you never know. I would just hesitate to take such a permanent step at your age. I would also research carefully the incidences of cancer, testicular issues, and sexual dysfunction w/ having a vasectomy which are increased w/ having a vasectomy early in life. (With that said, I'm not sure the risks would outweigh the pros. . .but you should look into it nonetheless.) In any case, I think you're amazing to be so strong for Kaylee. I could not imagine drawing blood several times a day from any of my munchkins.

[PamalaLauren]

Well I'm just glad she doesn't mind anymore but in a way it's kind of sad that she's used to it.

[oweirdo]

It is hard to say, I told Mikey after 2 we were done. Then I said well OK 1 more, and thats it. But I knew when we found it was another girl I wanted one more chance. I still am not sure if we have one more and its a girl if we will not try again.
Its always hard for a woman to say she is done. There comes a time when a friend has a baby and it hits you and thats what you want. I wish an IUD would work for you, does the ring mess you up? what about a cervical cap?

[MarieMatthews]

If you decide on proceeding with the vasectomy, you may want to look into having a couple of specimens frozen beforehand. As previous people have said, a successful vasectomy reversal isn't a given and it provides you with an additional option should you change your mind and decide you'd like to have another child.

[twinzplus3]

They won't let you do that. . .it is unlikely insurance would cover it anyways. However, generally they say that if you want to have some specimens frozen. . .you're not done having kids and therefore not a good candidate for a vasectomy.

[MarieMatthews]

I'm not sure what you mean when you say they won't let you do it. Are you saying that physicians won't do it or just that it's not covered by insurance? It's definitely something that was offered to me by our physician and we discussed it at length. I still think that if it's possible, it's a good option when one spouse doesn't want any more children and another is still open to the idea.

[MommySpice]

Another viewpoint...

After losing Joey, I have spent a lot of time on grief and loss message boards. One thing I have heard over and over is regret over having had a "procedure" done...whether it be the guy or the girl. When one loses a child, there is a hole that never gets filled. A new child can never replace the former one...but for some reason, many people feel the urge to have another...to "complete" the family. I hope you never lose dear Kaylee. But having already lost one child myself, and hearing these other parents struggles with trying to have kids after a reversed procedure...I know that I could never do something so final. I don't know what Kaylee's special needs are...is this something that is genetic? I'd highly recommend getting genetic counseling to see what your chances are of having another child with this disorder. One form of Joey's disease is genetic...but the form that he had is not, so our chances of having another child as ill as he was is even less than the chances of Joey having it in the first place. It made us feel a lot better to know that...even though I'll never fully be okay until I'm holding the baby in my arms and can see for myself that he/she is healthy.

I know it is difficult now when she is 6 months old, and you're facing a lifetime of special needs. However, it will be something that will become second nature to you, as well as to her, and you may change your mind sometime down the road. Why shut doors now, if you don't have to?

However, this is really your decision...so whatever you and your DH decide will be right for you. Please don't let us talk you into something different if that's not what you really want. (((((hugs))))) to you, as I know this is a difficult decision to make!