[peace2you]

Hi! My 3-1/2 year old granddaughter stays with me while her mom and dad work. We have been going through the potty training blues, to say the least. She showed all the signs of readiness at 2 years old. We tried then but gave up after about 3 months because she just wasn't catching on. She again started showing signs of wanting to use the potty about 6 months later so...again we tried. No success whatsoever. Stopped again. Finally 3 months ago we started again and determined that we would not stop this time until she was successful. This was on the advice of her pediatrician. He said to just push through the stubborn phase of this and keep on being persistent and consistent with her until she successfully potty trains. She will go poop on the potty 100% of the time. However, she has recently again started wetting her pants and even doing rebellious things like pulling her pants off and wetting on her bed just for spite when she gets punished for something. (Her parents use time outs on her bed when she misbehaves and so do I to keep things consistent.) HELP! I'm losing my mind with this little angel. The only saving grace she has in this is that she is the cutest thing I've ever laid my eyes on. And, it also doesn't hurt that she's won her Grammy's heart a thousand times over
Anyone have any advice?

[twinzplus3]

I'll trade you one stubborn 3 yo for two training twins?! Okay. . .just kidding.

I have no brilliant suggestions for you except that I agree. . .keep pushing through.

One thing that I would suggest is that when she does have an accident, don't pay it any mind. What I mean is let's say she potties in her underwear. "Oh, you're wet. Let's go get new underwear on and I'll show you how to clean out your underwear." And we'll clean the floor too.

Then go on with your day. It seems that often kids who deliberately pee where they are not supposed to, do so for the attention. No attention for that behavior = stopped behavior.

But good luck. The only thing I can say is I have not trained a single one of my kids the same way.

[QueenAngie]

Your granddaughter does sound like a little cutie.

Being headstrong in her adult years will serve her well,
but trying to make her learn to use the bathroom is not easy.

Could you hourly take her to the bathroom to go tinkle?
Give her lots to drink and hourly have her go to sit on the toilet.
Make a game out of it.
Purchase some of those potty training books for children to read.

(((Hugs)))

[twinzplus3]

Oh yeah. . .we set a timer. That's mostly bc I couldn't keep track of who had gone when (occupational hazard of having twins I suppose)

[peace2you]

Not trying to one up you ladies, but we've tried all of the above. I mean, this kid WILL NOT P.O.T.T.Y.!!! When the timer goes off she has now started melting down because she knows its time to go to the potty. She throws herself in the floor and literally has to be dragged to the bathroom! You got that pictured? Gray-haired, broke-back grandma dragging a 34 lb. 3 yr. old across the floor, kicking and screaming. Then, I'll spare you the scene with me trying to get her to sit on the potty. It "ain't" pretty
Stickers don't work. Treats don't work. Timeouts don't work. Coddling does not work. Mommy coming home and "dealing" with the pee pee panty incidents all day doesn't work. We are pulling our hair out here. Her parents have resorted to taking her to a child behavioral specialist and she says DGD is just a strong-willed child and it may take years, OMG!, did you see that? YEARS, to potty train her. Everything has to be DGD's idea or she just will not do it. So, the challenge here has now become to find creative ways to make her think pottying is her idea. Shoot me now.

[MamaWrites]

I would just say that you have to keep pushing through. Make using diapers not an option. My daughter has been a lot harder than my son ever was. One thing that seems to work for her is a lot of praise. When she wet, I would reminder her where the pee-pees are supposed to go, but when she used the potty by herself I would give her a lot of positive feedback. But I am sure that you are already doing a lot of that.

One question, does it bother her to be wet or messy? Some kids just don't see, to care, and I think that makes it harder.

it is pretty expensive, but there are people out there that you can paid to come into your home and potty train your child, guaranteed.

[Gchildren]

There is nothing better than being a grandparent until we have to re-visit the training ground all over again. I can sure identify with your feelings toward your granddaughter but this must be a difficult time for you.
My wife and I have run a daycare for over 20 years and we have seen a variety of behaviors from a variety of age groups and you have your work cut out for you when it comes to potty training. My wife is the pro when it comes to potty training and she says that your pediatrician is correct: persistence and consistency.
Every few minutes or so, you may want to ask her if she needs to go. It is hard but you do not appear to have a lot of options at this point.
I have found that the most difficult aspect about being a grandparent is when you have to "train" your grandchildren. All I want to do is spoil them and enjoy them. Unfortunately, we do not have that choice at times. Hang in there and be consistent and persistent. It seems to work most of the time.
John

[QueenAngie]

Gchildren, welcome to the board!

Always glad to have the insight of others who have 'been there, done that!'

Keep on trying!

[MiracleBaby06]

have you tried taking her to the store to pick out her own pretty panties? maybe that way she wont want to mess them up and if she does you can take them away till she doesnt go in them and just give her plain white panties. good luck and hope it happens soon, it took my lil sister till she was over 3 to go on the potty

[MissyChrissy]

I've always heard time out in the bedroom wasn't a good idea. The bedroom should be a safe haven and a quiet room for sleeping, and a place for happy memories only. Time out usually has it's own chair in one specific spot-out in the main part of the house though.

I wouldn't make a big deal of it when she has an accident. Simply clean her up & change her. But make a HUGE deal of it whenever she goes where she's supposed to. Do that each and every time.

I wouldn't even think twice about her age...I know one of my girls wasn't done totally being trained until she was 4...and then she had night-time accidents until she was 6. Her dr said each child's bladder develops differently, as does their SIGNAL that they even have a full bladder. What we feel as "I HAVE TO PEE NOW" she may not feel at all. Nothing but time will cure that.