[norse96]

What can grandparents do to maintain a healthy relationship with our grandson? My daughter and her son lived with us from his birth for three years. She moved back home with us just after his birth. She is single and had limited resources. She believes she is "meant" to live in another state - 750 miles away. She went there to school before our grandson was born and my parents live about 30 miles away. About six months ago, she moved back there leaving our grandson with us until she got settled. This past weekend after three and a half years, she moved our grandson there. We have been having a difficult time with this at several levels. My daughter is very strong-willed and shows very little respect or consideration for us. She and other family members have been cruel about certain issues. Unfortunately, I hurt my parents by moving away from them when she was little although we never lived with them for an extended length of time. They are not a forgiving people and do not respect their children - especially me. They have made sure that she knew things like "your mother took you away from us" and "your mother really hurt us by not getting along" even though I have asked forgiveness and worked hard to restore my relationship with them. The effort has been substantially one-sided. By saying these things to my teenage daughter and by not showing me any respect (they are very rigid and do not respect any of their children). They have contributed to some of the problems with my daughter by comments they made to her while she was visiting in her teens and, because I made sure she visited them and kept in touch with them, they have an influence on her. Things have been strained between our daughter and us since her high school years, at time even showing contempt for me. We have bonded very well with our grandson and have been providing support for him financially and, more importantly, emotionally. She says will be able to see our grandson and has even gone as far as purchasing extra minutes on her phone so he can talk with us. We are still concerned about our future with him. Both of us feel that she means what she says now but that she could change easily and cut us off. We respect her as his parent and don't want to alienate her but at the same time want to know what we can do if things go bad. Does anyone have suggestions for us? As grandparents, what rights do we have? As long as we are allowed to talk to him or see him, I don't want to rock the boat and, frankly, I pray she will come around to a more loving, adult friendship relationship with us. Please! Any suggestions or advice would be welcome.