[mcmama]

You've seen the banner ads on this website for Frontline's Growing Up online. I found it very interesting.

I totally understand the teenage need to create an online persona, and communicate with friends. This technology is second nature to young people. The connectedness is vital.

I also understand the concern by some of the more savvy parents in the documentary - about getting in over your head, putting yourself out there in ways that you may not like later.

I thought the teacher who tried to "redefine" cheating was a wimp. Critical thinking is still an important skill, and writing is not just copy paste.

So kids - we know you are too smart to give out your names and addresses like those decoys on NBC Dateline. But as parents, we are not going to just go away and let you do your thing either. I really liked the lady who has the family computer in the kitchen. That's my style too.

But there are enough teens on this site to be really honest - tell us parents - what can we really do to help you protect yourselves, respect your privacy, and support you growing up as good citizens of online communities? How many of you have computers in your bedroom? How many of you work online in a common area?

[MissyChrissy]

I'm not a kid, but I can tell you there are no computers in the bedrooms at this house. Bobbie, my oldest, is a member here and while I don't post-stalk her, I am aware of who she talks to on the message boards and the gist of her posts. If she ever became secretive (i.e. minimizing the screen really fast as I walk up behind her) that would be it. I'd be all over her history seeing what was going on. It's not that I don't trust her...I don't trust other people.

[mcmama]

One thing I thought was funny was how they spotlighted Chatham, NJ. The median income in Chatham is $110,000. The median housing price is over $600,000. (2005 figures) Even for NJ, that is high for the median, unless the town is wealthy. Yet they portrayed it as small town america.

I guess it shows a place that is very sheltered and affluent, and that online intrusions happen there. They also showed something of Morristown, a bit more diverse and more evenly spread economically, (nice place, too).

What I have noticed in wealthy areas (my kid has a lot of financial aid to go to a prep school with kids living in $20 million mansions) is that the adults are not around a lot, the houses are big, the kids have everything, and unless there is a parent or grandparent home and involved, kids retreat to their rooms and their gadgets. But even when someone is home, the houses are big, and there are distractions. And when kids who have everything have it in their rooms, it is difficult to break through the barriers they put up.

So I thought it was pretty funny that the area they picked was somewhat not typical of middle class USA - but rather well off people who THINK they are middle class, or who started out that way.

[mcmama]

BTW, if you have not seen it, you can watch it online at the pbs website or by clicking the banner ad.

[MissyChrissy]

I believe that about upper middle/high class. Heck, I know middle class people who allow their children to keep computers in the bedrooms.

I won't though. I think of Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris (Columbine). They had gadgets and absent parents. Not that all kids in those situations end up shooting their classmates, but obviously if their parents were paying attention to what their kids were doing online...well.

[mcmama]

I thought the teacher who said we'd have to "redefine cheating" just because kids get sparknotes online was full of bs.

My kid is in an AP English class where sparknotes just would not cut it for classroom discussion. The kids get really involved with it. And there is a lot of critical thinking going on. A lot of arguing too. Those kids like to argue. When you put someone from an affluent school where they got away with sparknotes because their popular teacher "redefined" cheating into a situation in college or life where critical thinking is important, they are going to lose. The kids who can think and argue on their feet are going to win. And make money.

[ginnipher]

I can give you this advice: Don't look over our shoulders every five seconds. It's annoying.

:P

I've had a computer in my room since about 4th, 5th grade. I can't imagine growing up without it to be honest.

[KR258]

I am not a teen anymore but when I turned 16 my parents gave me a laptop...It was a bad idea and although I don't think they know what kind of trouble I got into with that I was in alot of trouble!!! I was generally a good kid except when it came to my computer. I think the best thing they could have done was take it away and only let me use the one in the living room and actually watch! Because even when it was in the living room I would go on chat rooms and do things I shouldn't have even with them in the room because I knew they weren't looking...I am ashamed of what I used to do but I can admit it. I won't ever let my child do those things. She won't have texting on her cell phone or internet access on her phone either and she won't have a cell phone till she's 16. She'll only be allowed to use the computer in the living room with me watching and if she doesn't like it then don't use it! I know that sounds harsh but I don't want her to make any of the mistakes I did. I could have gotten seriously hurt.

[MissyChrissy]

Originally Posted by ginnipher

I can give you this advice: Don't look over our shoulders every five seconds. It's annoying.

Annoying or not, I do it and will always do it. It's MY computer. I also log in and check their history, and track where they go, who they talk to...everything.

I'm a mom. It is my responsibility to protect them. I wouldn't let them talk to strangers "irl" so why would I let them do it online without supervising? That's just foolish, imo.

If my girls don't like my spying, they're free to not use the computer.

[ginnipher]

Originally Posted by MissyChrissy

Annoying or not, I do it and will always do it. It's MY computer. I also log in and check their history, and track where they go, who they talk to...everything.

I'm a mom. It is my responsibility to protect them. I wouldn't let them talk to strangers "irl" so why would I let them do it online without supervising? That's just foolish, imo.

If my girls don't like my spying, they're free to not use the computer.

My parents trust me. That's the difference. They have no reason to be rude and look over my shoulder every five seconds.