[Rissa812]

Im unsure as to whether I can call this harassment and I don't want to say it is when its not. My charge nurse has been making my work life miserable. She has had it out for me since I was moved onto her floor in November. I found out I was pregnant in January and kept it a secret as long as possible from her because the last thing I needed was her saying I cannot do my job. Im a CNA in a nursing home, so I do a lot of lifting, pulling, pushing etc. From November until about 2 weeks ago she has been relaying messages about my patients to other CNA's to tell me. She has and still does have conversations with a CNA I am close with about my performance, whether I have pending written warnings, about my attitude ( I dont talk to her and I show her respect) She even went as far as ask her why she is doing my assignment. Of course my friend comes and tells me what she says, but I kept it between us. Why is a charge nurse...someone in a higher position than me telling my co-workers information that is none of their business? Am I crazy or is that wrong??? I was out sick for a few days in March. Only my manager and the DON knew of the return date listed on my doctor's note. She some how found out and told the rest of the staff when they saw my name on the next days' schedule.... "Ohh that must be wrong, she's not coing back until the 24th" (the date on the doctor's note) If I sit at the nurse's station for a few minutes (while other CNA's sit there as well) she tells my manager I was sitting at the nurse's station. A co-worker was eating her dinner in an empty room watching tv(something you can get fired for). I walked in, SAT on the bed facing her and asked her about a new patient I wasn't familiar with. The charge nurse came in and brought her coffee. When I came back to wok after my days off my co-worker came to me and told me the charge nurse had told everyone I was watching tv and LAYING on the bed, which is why the tv was gone. I had asked my manager about this and she said it was true and she could have written me up for it, but didn't. I asked my manager to talk to my co-worker instead of believing her because it wasn't true, but it didn't seem like she really cared anyway.
To make a long story shorter.....I told my manager about everything she has been doing and it stopped....for a few days. Now its worse, much worse.
I am a white woman married to a man outside my race. Once she found out she had a conversation about it to my co-workers. She cant believe I married outside my race. She continues to tell my co-workers I don't do my work my friend does. I am 5 months pregnant now. I was sent home Friday night in so much pain I couldn't move. ( It was caused by a condition I have had since 17...nothing to do with pregnancy) She acted as my best friend until I left, and then talked about how Im a bad mom, I should be home with my kids, I shouldn't be working, I need to think about my baby... to my co-workers. Then her next sentence was about how she worked until she was 9 months pregnant on her hands and knees scrubbing floors. So its okay for her to work until the end, but not me. She instigates fights between me and other co-workers. I don't know what she tells them but it needs to stop.
My biggest problem is where to go from here. My employer has a 0 harassment policy. The first floor manager has been trying to get rid of her for years (she has been there 4 years) and they moved the charge nurse upstairs. I cannot take the bashing anymore....its ridiculous. I like my job and I look forward to going to work but when I have to work with her, its impossible. Is this harassment?

[JeanLynn81]

Oh gosh do I know how tough it is to not get along with a boss. I'm really sorry to hear you are being so stressed out. It's not right for her to put you in the spotlight at work.

To answer your last question-yes and no. These aren't things that I think, but rather things they could come back at you with.

Its ok for them to know the date you are coming back from sick leave. It is my understanding that y'all work together and when one team member is missing, the others have to make up for it. That would not be considered harrassment in the workplace, unless she was making up reasons why you were out.

As far as walking in on your friend who was breaking the rules. Its best to avoid being around co-workers who are breaking the rules. Most bosses don't feel like they should play referee on who did what, and everyone usually gets in trouble. There's just no avoiding that. Not saying you should run and tell when anyone is being "bad" but its just better to avoid those situations altogether. Once again, let me clarify that this is probably what the bosses think, and its not harassment.

Now what is harassment, is that she has absolutely no right to make snide remarks about your private life outside of work. It is unprofessional, and if you document everything she does as far as this goes, you may build enough of a case to have her supervised and possibly suspended or more.

Making remarks about you and your husband's race should NOT be tolerated at all. That is probably where you have the best case going, if you can get coworkers to admit she said those things.

So basically if it involves work, there's usually a pretty thin line between what's harassment, and what is not. But if it carries into your personal life outside of work, then it is.

I really hope though that she eases up. Its not so bright to pick on a hormonal, pregnant lady. She'll figure it out I hope and leave you alone.

If the racial, and pregnant remarks continue, though, go to her superior after you gather the evidence together and see what can be done.

Good luck!!!!

[MissyChrissy]

I agree with JeanLynn, and I encourage you to talk with the first floor manager and see what you can/should do. You are being harassed and she'll continue doing it as long as she gets away with it.

Your coworkers should realize she's simply stirring the pot, and stop feeding into her game. If you all banned together against her, she'd knock that part off too.

[Rissa812]

Originally Posted by JeanLynn81

Its ok for them to know the date you are coming back from sick leave.

It was none of HER business to know, because she is simply a charge nurse (one of many on the floor). She doesn't do the scheduling, and whether we were short and needed coverage would come from upper managment, not her. There was no need for it at all.
The people she was talking to about my husband's race is part of her clique and won't back me up. It seems she only does it when she is around people who will actually listen to her. Another nurse told me she does it because she knows it will get back to me. Supposedly, she used to be a psych nurse, so she knows exactly what she is doing. After finding out that info....I try not to let it bother me, but then it started getting personal.
As for the first floor manager....she wiped her hands clean once the nurse was moved upstairs. She said the company gets rid of the good workers and keep the bad ones. She told me to put in for a floor change, but there is such a long waiting list, I will deliver before I get moved.
I spoke to my former teacher (she has a classroom in the building) and she said she would talk the DON about similar scenarios and she what she says to do. I have five days without working with her, so at least Im ok until next week.

[lynclarke]

Well, I would love to tell you that I have a solution for you but I don't. I have been a nurse for 32 years and this type of story is not uncommon. As you said, the management moved her from the first to the second floor because she was causing grief down there. You need the job? You like the other people? My advice is kill her with kindness when you work with her the next time. When you get your assignment - thank her. Go to her directly to report any patient problem. When she says any medical type instruction- thank her and tell her you appreciate the time she spends to help you. If she goes to your co-worker and discusses your assignment or your performance, go directly to her and ask a related question. Ask what you should do to improve your performance. Do a task then go directly to her and ask for feedback. Is that done correctly? Does that meet your expectations? Thank you for helping me. I mean thank the little b.... everytime you interact with her. Bring her home made whatever you cook. "I made these today and I thought of you". Tell her you like her outfit, hair style, perfume, shoes, jewelry- find something to compliment. She will find it harder to pick on you if you are direct with her. The longer you hide in the background the easier it is to be her target. Kill her with kindness! She will hate it but she will get off your back.