[bkallens]

So, I've been watching my friends little guy for several weeks now and I initially expressed my concerns to her that he wasn't getting enough to eat because of her feeding schedule. She did up the feedings a bit, but not a whole lot. He went to the doc yesterday for his 4 month appointment, and the doc was concerned about his weight. He was 12-12 at his 2 month and 14-7 at his 4 month, so that would be a gain of a little under 3 ounces a week. I plotted him on the WHO breastfed baby charts and his percentiles for weight are: Birth 84% , 2 months 60%, 4 months 20%.

Mom is understandably concerned about him and asking me for advice. Her pediatriacian said that she should start him on solids. Mom is not enthused about that and would rather hold off until closer to 6 months. Baby is nowhere near being able to sit up and doesn't seem developmentally ready for solids. So, what would be the best advice for her at this point? I'll have him for the next two weeks and then she has a 2 week break where she will be home with him before she goes back to teaching. Thanks!

[LovingJesusinAZ]

If she's asking your advice I'd tell her what you think about feeding him more.

Do you know if she's on the pill? At my son's 4mo appt he was 40th percentile for weight (where he'd been since birth). Long story short, by 9 months he was off the charts and had gained less than 1lb from his 4mo checkup. I started feeding him formula at that point and was confused why I dried up since I'd been feeding on demand since birth. My son was nursing every 1-2 hrs during the day and I couldn't understand why he wasn't gaining weight. Knowing what I know now I'm convinced going on the pill at my 6wk post-partum checkup was a huge factor (and why I'm not on the pill now that I'm nursing my 10wk old daughter)

If she's on the pill AND not breastfeeding on demand she may be having some supply issues. I hope her little guy is able to gain some weight without having to supplement formula

[twinzplus3]

She needs to supplement him with formula AND solids probably. . .or she needs to ditch her schedule and start feeding on demand. The book that she's using recommends solids at 4mos. She cannot continue the way she is--period. Agreed--hormonal birth control is not compatible with breastfeeding. In fact, i would say that if she's on the pill and she insists on schedule feeding him she needs to start him on formula immediately to avoid starving him. This is in essence a no brainer. If she gives up the bfing and does the formula feeding on a 3hour schedule--she should be okay to wait for solids provided baby gains weight. To be honest, it sounds like perhaps she has been given some bad information and is very misinformed about babies, eating and breastfeeding. If she is believing everything that is in that book then she is definitely misinformed about breastfeeding. If she's open to hearing that she really has been misinformed on the breastfeeding thing perhaps you can direct her here. Perhaps if you phrase it as her having been given incorrect information she will be more apt to listen. Have you considered sending her here for advice?

[ruthann8]

I agree with what Valorie said. But on a side note, my mom started us on cereal early by putting it in a feeder. She said it looked like a bottle, the nipple was made for cereal and the bottom of the bottle would collapse in as we ate. She said you could even put baby food in it. If she needs to start solids this may be an option since he may not be developmentally ready for solids from a spoon.

[bkallens]

I'll see if she's interested in coming here. When I mention changing the feeding plan, she always responds that he doesn't seem hungry - and I tend to actually agree with that. I feed him, he's up for an hour and a half, goes down for a nap, and then I have to wake him up after 2 hours to feed him. We just disagree on the reasons - she thinks he's full, and I think he's just been trained to accept it and has given up giving hungry signs because they weren't heeded.

[angelic_ky]

i would say that it doesn't seem hungry cos he has been 'trained'

[twinzplus3]

This is a pretty typial trained behavior actually and the baby becomes "happy to starve" Regardless of whether or not he "seems" hungry. . .he obviously needs to eat more calories. . .if that weren't true he'd be gaining weight sufficiently and he's not. That is not arguable. (Not like you don't know that. . . )

[bkallens]

Okay, here's the update. She is really committed to BF'ing him and avoiding formula if possible, and is willing to make changes to help that She is going to start feeding him at night again (not sure if he started sleeping all night on his own or if she specifically night-weaned him) and feed him more often in the morning and evening when she has him. She is only able to pump 2x a day with her schedule at work (she's a teacher). Right now he eats everything she pumps during the day (~14 oz) while he's here. If she's feeding him a lot more while evenings/mornings do we need to up his daytime feedings as well? If so, if there anything to do to improve her pumping so she can keep up with hime? She only has a week and a half to go until Christmas break and then will be with him for 2 weeks straight. Thanks!

[twinzplus3]

Yep--there's a whole big long list of things to do to improve her pumping. While she can only pump 2x per day at work--she can pump on weekends whenever she wants. . .and she can pump during her break too.

Re: should he eat more? Well. . .if he's fine without it then not really. . .babies are really smart in that sense and if he gets into her work routine then he can nurse more in the morning and more in the evening and may well decide that 2x during the day is just dandy--especially since you're not mom.

[Tracey with 6]

I'm so glad that your friend is doing this.... I was wondering how the little guy was doing, it is so sad about babies being trained to starve them selves or be happy with what they get.