[tjb006]

Ok, I am new here but in desperate need of a little outside honest advice. Please.
It's his 19 yr old daughter. Or maybe it is him. The situation is she comes and goes as she pleases. She does not live with us. If she gets into a fight with her mom, she runs to our house with little less than an hour notice, sometimes none. Which, I must say I am fine if she needs to get away for awhile, but one time we were doing what adults do, and BAM.. there our front door opens! Sunday nights, her mom obviously does not want her coming home late due to her having to work and others in the house having to get up for school, etc.... But why is this acceptable in our house? I too have to get up for work and have an 18 yr old that has to get up for school. So, walking in at midnight on a Sunday night? This to me is unacceptable. Non-kid weekend, just this Sunday- at 11am gets a text from her, she is fighting with mom again, we had plans, but instead of telling this Adult Child that hey you can come over but we may be leaving cause we have plans, he just sits on the couch with her for the whole afternoon! My feelings is this..ok, listen to what the issue is, which is nothing new cause this has happened several times already, she was not crying,, not upset, etc...But to me, it seems like whenever she has drama, which is all the time, our plans and myself take a back seat.. With no consideration for how I would feel about this.
Am I just being selfish? Is it really too much to ask for a weekend with no kids? We both have teen kids, 19, 18, 15, & 14.
I have kids too, and I do not let them run from house to house. You deal with it. Period. Especially at 19 years old!
Am I being unreasonable?
Oh! and the weekend before that, I got notified that kids were coming over 20 minutes before they arrived...and again, we had plans. And again, they got squashed.
I have talked to him before but it just keeps going back to this. And I feel like I am made to feel like I am an evil person for even wanting a weekend without kids...
Am I not to want to spend a whole weekend alone with the man I love for just once? So maybe my question should be, why doesn't he want that?
He gets mad at me for even saying anything to him about this, I am out of line he says cause his kid wants to spend a couple of hours with him. And the drama always occurs on a date night or valentines day or whenever we have plans.
Thanks for your time.. I think just writing this, helps vent a little bit.

[floresazules]

I understand you feelings but I honestly think that when you decide to marriage him, you knew he has kids and you have kids too, and yes, is a lot of drama with teens, my advice to you is to understand that your husband just want to be there for his kids, specailly if they dont live with both of you, and just know that this teen years are going to pass and things will be better, also ask your self if you would have done the same thing if this was your dauther comming to you for help, will you be there for her?

[knighttemplar]

I have a short statement: If you want alone time with your husband then take it. children need to learn respect for the lives of their parents,, just as they want you to respect theirs. Your husband needs to be loving and strong but if you dont have that alone time with your husband, there will be no marriage and then all is lost.... IF ITS NOT AN EMERGENCY,,,, TELL THEM IT CAN WAIT...