[mcummings36]

I have a bright, beautiful 5 year old daughter. She is normally such a good girl, she is polite and friendly, and she loves all of us. Lately however, she has these fits, and when I say fits, I mean unbelievable screaming, crying, hitting, kicking, etc...And it is happening almost on a daily basis now. I am at my witts end. She gets so angry over the smallest things. For example this afternoon she wanted to go see her grandmother. It wasn't a good time, for one thing grandma was working and for another, because she has been misbehaving, she hasn't been going to do fun things very much. The fit she threw today lasted about 3 hours. My friends and family try to help, telling me to put her in her room, spank her, ignore her, etc....I've done them all, nothing works. She is relentless. And another very scary part of this is she takes it out on her 17 month old sister if she is within reach. She has slapped her, kicked her, thrown things at her. And she does get a spank for that. What do I do? I literally sat and cried for hours last night after she went to bed. This is not my daughter. She just isn't an angry, unhappy child, at least she never used to be. I am scared there is something wrong with her.

[mrmnmom82]

It can take time for a consequence to sink in. How long did you stick with a certain consequence? My son is also creeping toward this behavior, taking his anger out on his sister, screaming when he doesn't get his way. I'm hoping it will pass, I will continue to give timeouts, and take away privilages, that's all I can think to do.

[QueenAngie]

Consistency is very important with children.

Many times, the one that is acting out
is the one that is needing more attention & love.

I can not even begin to imagine a child going on in a tantrum
for 3 hours.

What about trying to distract her
with reading a book,
taking a bath in comfy warm water (not too hot or too cold),
a soothing back rub.

Maybe you need to talk to her pediatrician for suggestions.

My children did best with an expected daily routine.
It was not scribed in stone, but they knew
the morning routine,
supper routine,
bedtime routine.

(((Hugs)))

[mollymae]

You need to be very very consistent and the first time i started using a naughty step my son who was 5/6 at the time it took 4 hours of him yelling and fighting to get him to stay there for 5 minutes. Your youngest is now of the age where they more attention and she could be rebelling against having to share you a bit more. I don't thinking spanking ever works for tantrums because they aren't in control and it doesn't ever defuse the suituation. Time out and consequences. Warn her once that she'll have a toy removed or TV time removed. Stick to it. If she carrys on then make sure you follow through. Then put her somewhere to calm down. Don't be drawn into a bickering match. Remember she will do everything she can to get your attention but only response to positive behavior. After she has calmed down re enforce why she was put in time out and get an apology and make friends. Over play the praise. Small children love to impress their parents so lots of animated praise and hugs when she's being good.

[Samual]

Mikey gets like that and it can sometimes take a few hours to carry out 5 minutes of punishment, we just carry on removing him from the room, we don't talk to him just pick him up and plonk him in the hallway. If he bangs on the living room we door we ignore him. Then at the end he has to choose between two toys, the one he chooses is put away and he isn't allowed it for two days. The more you do it, the quicker it happens, now he sometimes does somethign gets caught and puts him self in the hallway with said toy in his hand to be conviscated, it takes time but it works in the end.

[mcummings36]

Thank you to each of you that replied to my thread. It's been such a busy time with the holidays and such that I am just now getting back to this. I must say, things have gotten a little better with Hailey. She still is throwing her fits, but no where near as often. Something horrible did happen through all of this though, and it's been really hard for me. I decided to try just ignoring this behavior, I thought that if I just walked away and didn't react to it, that maybe that would work. Because Hailey screams and kicks her legs, like most kids do when they throw a fit. Well, I live in an apt., and my neighbors called police and social services, saying that my daughter must be being mistreated because she is always crying and screaming. I was, and still am, just devastated. My daughter is not mistreated by any means, and it kills me to think that anyone would believe she was.
I have to be honest and say that I am really struggling with yelling back at her. I am not in the best of situations, my husband and I are seperated, he lives over 200 miles away and does not make anything about being a father a priority. He hasn't bothered to come see the girls since Thanksgiving. He didn't even get them anything for Christmas. This has been an ongoing battle for the last 5 years, so it's nothing new, but I have been struggling with depression a lot lately, and even though I am coming through and getting better, because I am at home all day and deal with everything on my own, I find myself snapping at her, and I do NOT want that. I even snapped at the baby (18 mos) today, and as soon as I did, sat down on the floor and cried with her. I never snap at the baby, and it just broke her little heart. I don't want this, I desperately do not want to be a mother that barks at her kids. I WON'T BE!! But how do I keep myself from it, on those days where I am pulling my hair out because nothing has gone right? When we were growing up, my dad yelled at us. Never, ever in an abusive way, not ever, but that was how he got our attention. Honestly, it didn't bother me. But the way I snap at the kids is different then what my dad did. I think he yelled because he is so soft spoken, and in a house full of wild kids, you have to yell to be heard!

[mcmama]

Having kicking screaming tantrums that go on and on and on is not normal for a 5 year old. She is probably extremely angry, maybe at her dad, and takes it out on you because you are there and not going away.

I suggest having her see your pediatrician, and a child psychologist. They can get to the root of it.

[ive_2008]

I have a 5 years old son. And i feel that i cant control him no more. Everytime i try to tell him that he is doing somthing that is not right he scream at me or he get angry or he just walk away and dont listen to anything im saying. Lately he start fighting with his friends and is hard for me to control him. Im a single mother since a year and his father doesnt look for him and i try to do my best but everyday i feel like is out of my hand. I need help to know how can i do to make him respect me and or maybe to find out what im doing wrong. Sometimes i cant control myself and i scream a him and i know this is not right but what can i do is though for me.