[schristinar85]

2 years ago my aunt died from an overdose. She was a drug addict and mentally unstable. She had 2 kids, a 14 yr old boy and a 12yr old girl. They moved in with us (me, 21, my mom, my dad and my brother, 17) The 14 yr old boy was extremely troubled, did drugs, stole, had unprotected sex, and got arrested for a variety of things. After a few months he finally moved to his estranged father out of state. (not the same father as the girl, her father is dead)
For the last 2 years though, we have been caring for the girl who is now 13. Although she is not as violent or unstable as her brother, she is becoming more and more difficult for deal with. She is a compulsive lier and I do mean compulsive. She lies about anything and everything. She is very sneaky and manipulative. She has been doing inappropriate things with boys & girls at school and She now has begun stealing things.
We have tried everything we can think of and we don't know what to do anymore. My parents have grounded her, taken away TV & other things, gave her extra chores ect. But NOTHING gets through to her. She cries and apologises and swears she will change, (and you really want to believe her) but then she turns around 5 minutes later and does the exact same thing! She has been in therapy for months and she only seems to be getting worse. Can anyone help? We are going crazy!
FYI: my parents are now her legal gardians and are liable for her. They are scared of the things she may do.

[lulumunk2332]

See if you can help her find other ways to spend her time, punishing her will make things worse, she has already been punished enough throughout her life. Take her to her favorite music concert, show her hiking, find things todo as a family so that will occupy her time in more optimistic ways. Try to stay calm and remain understanding, teach her right from wrong but in a constructive way. Hope it helps.

[nitefallenstar13]

well i was one of those teens...first the kids are acting out out of grief and anger frustration depression...everything someone would feel after a loss...they are to young and not old enough to be adult about there mother...plus its hard for someone there age to talk to people older then them because society has put in there head that no one understands and noone is listening...i believe therapy is awesome but be careful who u send them to...there are a lot of therapists out there who just sit there and listen to teens and write things down but they dont get in touch with them emotionally...taking things away from them just makes them more angry...im not saying reward them but spending as much time with them as possible....go out to dinner go the movies do something at least once a week...i wish my parents would have done that!!! unfortunatly drugs are the hardest thing to stop....really if its just weed i wouldnt worry but other drugs are a problem...i had sex early because i was mad at my family and my life but i really did regret it....theres just going through there trials and tribulations theyll one day grow up and realize that life isnt as hard as there makin it in there head!!! just support and show love not anger!!!

[browneyes01]

well you have already begun to do the right thing I say to continue with the therapy. I'm sure when they first came to stay with you and your parenst the children seemed as though they were well adjusted but this often happens when children are put into a new environment they will honeymoon meaning they will be perfect and do as they are told and so on, but as the start to become comfortable with there surroundings they true nature reveals itself. Continue to make her feel welcome because she may still be grieveing over the loss of her mother and where she was sad before she could be replacing it with anger so the natural persons to recieve the brunt of the anger would be your family don't give up. it will get better.

[QueenAngie]

Welcome!

Sounds like counseling is the best option for her.

[evaxoxo]

I agree that she need to seek professional help. Enrolling her to therapy classes or some sort can help her get through this stage. My cousin enrolled to Turning Winds and he has been there for over 6 months now. If you need to inquire about it drop them a message (http://www.therapists411.com/online-form.html).

[robinets]

Hello, everyone. I am a new member, a retired math and English teacher currently teaching a 7th grader his homeschooled math. He was diagnosed as a child with sensory integration disorder. I have worked with him since October and his math skills have improved dramatically. However, it is a struggle to get him to stay organized and focused. He cannot do well in math at school because the curriculum is constructivist. He does better with a traditional curriculum with introduction of material, explanation, examples, and then understanding when for whatever reason he doesn't remember the technique we are using. He is easily distracted, hearing things I don't even hear when I try to listen. He constantly looks for things to get up and do, taking him away from his math. He is polite and has learned to say all the right things to placate me when he may not really be sincere. His parents are quite frustrated and don't even know whether he has an active IEP at school. His chief talent and interest lies in music. He is an excellent tuba player in his band and already plays as well as a high school student. I took the course all teachers had to take concerning special needs with respect to mainstreaming in the classroom. I am sensitive and caring and can explain math to anyone one-on-one with great results. However, I am hoping someone can suggest further reading or ideas on how to help my student. His father wants me to continue working with him throughout the summer. My goal for him is to get him back in his classroom for 8th grade math, although it will also be somewhat constructivist. I provide enrichment, too, and he has done very well with algebra, although he will not be placed in Algebra I next year. I now hope to limit interruptions at his home during our sessions and am thankful to have found this forum online. I am an encourager but want my student to continue to attend to his tasks and feel good about his success. By the way, when I am checking over an assignment with him sitting beside me, he says he is very afraid that he didn't do well. Could that be a teenager's excuse for not wanting to do math and instead wanting to play Madden 09? He gets no allowance and has way too many electronic toys. Any ideas to help his parents? Thanks for listening and for any ideas.

[laceyleigh]

i'm 15 & i was kind of like that; my parents are divorced and it's just me and my little sister living with my mom.
i lied almost about everything, i was very sneaky,
thought i could get away with anything. I was arrested for stealing and for running away 3 times. I was only kept in a detention center for 72 hours everytime i was arrested, they were easy on me so i didn't think it was that bad and i could live with that i continued to get in trouble and lie to my mom.
my mom tried everything, and eventually gave up hope and just put me in a girls home, i'm still in the girls home, i get to come home on the weekends, i have to stay there untill august. it's definitely making me think. my mom says she definitely sees a difference in my attitude and i'm starting to gain trust back.
if all hope fails try sending her to a girls home. it might be the best thing for her.

[browneyes01]

how have things been going with your cousin is she doing any better or have things still been going down hill.

[SisyphusTwo]

Hi
I can't give any direct ideas but there is a very good information and advice at http://kidshealth.org (parents, teens and kids sections) which I am sure you would find useful.