[wanttobemommy]

Ok so I had a drs appt today. I have this love/hate relationship with my dr. I am really angry at how somethings were handled with my friend. And then there is the whole thing where he didnt want to induce me or diagnose me with preeclamsyia. But he has always been there for me. From my loss of the twins to the birth of my son. With no insurance he still saw me and gave me my scripts and didnt even charge me office visits. With Jaxon I saw him every two weeks and only was charged for the regular amount of appts.

so here is where everything comes into place. I had my checkup with him and he was talking to me about what all is going on. He knows that the DH and I have had our problems and that we are trying to work things out. I expressed my concerns about the clomid and wanting to try and help my body naturally. He then went onto this big speech about how he thinks if i loose some weight it might help since i am technically considered obese based on BMI. I do not look like i weigh what i do because i used to be VERY athletic he said if i can bring my bmi from 30ish to about 22-25 then he thinks i would be able to concieve better. BUT here is where i felt like i was kicked in the stomach. He said that even though since Jaxon I have ovulated on my own at least three times (i did get pregnant and ended up loosing the baby) He thinks that I dont actually have a problem getting pregnant but he thinks that the eggs are not really mature enough when they are released. He basically said that he does not think i would have a significant chance of getting pregnant without fertility treatment. He thinks that i should try and loose weight and then TTC immediatly.

I want more children. I honestly think that DH and I are where we need to be but.... I am overly nervous about what has happend in the past repeating itself. Which is why I think that TTC is awhile off but with how long it took us to have Jaxon I dont want my son to be 4 or 5 before he gets a sister or a brother.

what to do. What do you ladies think?

[Kats Playland]

If you're not 100% ready to have another kid then I would wait a bit. It sounds kinda like your Dr is bulling you into it, but it's your call what you do. Good luck hun.

[wanttobemommy]

I want another one im just not sure the marriage is 100% back on track. I mean I know my DH is trying and we are trying and I want to have kids closer in age. I wanted a big family but I know that , that dream is kind of unrealistic. I mean with the fertility treatments and then all the complications I had. I dont know how many times my body and emotions can handle it. I have lost 6 babies. I am longing for another and still have the dream of my curly haired little girl. (i have natural curls every pregnancy I have this dream lol) I just dont know if my dr is telling me this for a reason or if he is just trying to be supportive/encouraging in his weird way

[wanna be a young mother]

I just saw both your posts so I'll answer both here ......


I've tried evening primrose and Vitex (chasteberry) and nothing happened. I tried that fertility aide stuff and nothing. I've tried teas, herbs and drinks but nothing. I know some women swear they work but for me they never did.

As for weight loss and TTC. Well I really believe thats a load of c**p! I'm down 40lbs, eating right and working out. I'm taking my metformin (up to 2000mg now) and nothing! Not even an AF! I think when dr's see bigger women they just blame the weight for everything. I wasnt always this big. There was a time when I was a normal weight and I still couldn't get pregnant. So will dropping a few pounds help you get pregnant? I doubt it but it is better for you health and a pregnancy.

I get where your coming from with not wanting to take drugs. We have tried for the last 7 months to get my cycles to come back on there own but it still hasn't happened. So we are back to good old hot flash, night sweat, mood swing Clomid ! I really hope you can do it on your own Kristin. Good luck!

[VinniesMommy]

If you and DH are ready for another baby, then go for it. But, if there is a chance that you're not, a baby might make things worse. Me and my DH kinda hit a rough patch right before we TTC Scarlette, and all through out my pregnancy things were okay, but as soon as the stress of a new baby was in our laps, all of our problems seemed to come back. So much so that we talked about the big "D" word.. Luckily, we worked things out, and it wasn't Scarlette's fault, we were just not as prepared as we thought we were. Good luck. You'll make the choice that is right for your family.

[Labhaoise]

hmm that is hard, but first off, I don't really like the BMI. I'm not a medical professional or qualified in any way at all, but it doesnt take into account what sort of weight you actually have. You said that you used to be really athletic... it is possible (and highly probable imo) that it's your muscle that is causing your BMI to say that you're obese. Muscle does weigh more than fat. From the pics I've seen of you, you definitley do not look obese in any way! SO that's my point of view on that.

On the ttc thing, I think even if it takes you a long time to conceive and give birth... whatever. you will still then have another child. I personally don't see any problem with having your children spaced 4 or so years apart... It's completely up to you and is your decision. But at the same time I also understand that you want to have them closer together. So I guess I'm no help on that point

But really and trruly I think you'll definitley know when your ready to start. I'm assuming that you've spoken to Dh about your concerns and everything... so what does he think. Because if he is not ready to start and you are, I would say wait and vice versa. You should only do it if you're both ready and willing.

Whatever your decision good luck we're all here for you!

[wanttobemommy]

well dh is more then ready and for awhile there we were trying but with no help but then my trip to va was coming and we stopped. I am home again and I am on the fence. I know that no matter what happens I want more than one child. Emotionally and Finacially I am ready. I just dont want the stress of DH and I fighting (if it should start again) causing un needed complications. I think I am ready and my dr filled my scripts I dont want to use clomid but I think I will end up with the mood swings hot flashes and cold sweats again lol. I really want Jaxon to have a sibling he sees the pampers commercial about how to climb in a chair and he gets all excited he sees babies on a baby story and gets totally interested. hmmm decisions were never my strong suit lol

[quagmire8]

sounds like your doctor is trying to be caring, but it is coming off the wrong way. i agree with previous post, your BMI may be a bit off. While it is true, you may increase your chances by increasing your health, what jennifer said makes sense. if you have a problem, losing weight may not fix it. could you try a combination...work on getting healthier and start TTC on your own? maybe give it some time before turning to medications? if you and DH are ready, then no better time than now to start trying!!! good luck to you!!

[wanttobemommy]

Thanks. My dr is still really interested as to why I cant concieve on our own and when we do the baby never makes it. I wear a size 9-11 depending on who makes the pants and I wear medium to large tops because I have a 36D chest. I dont think I am obese. I can understand him saying that some of the extra weight could affect it since I have been the same weight since I started TTC with DH. I know we both want another one and I am ready for it and I honestly believe our whole family (ours not the extended) is ready for it. I have some friends that are already asking when were gonna have more. So I guess I am just waiting for AF. Who never comes on time so we will see I had my last AF Octover 7 and still nothing so... let the games begin I guess...

[mollymae]

Honestly and from someone who's been there unless you 100% in love with your husband and trust him 100% then do not have another baby. 2 babys are 10 times the work of one. Any little insecurities soon raise there head when your stuck home tending to little ones 24/7. I hope you don't think i'm trying to be mean just I've been there and know how hard it gets.