[JGonza]

My DH has some extracurricular habits that lets just say Me (& and even my OBGYN) would consider to be harmful to his sperm. I would like to do an @ home testing kit, that way if in fact my hunch is correct, he will start to take our baby making more seriously and quit his “bad” habit so that his sperm will be more healthy and thus more viable. This might sound nuts, and yes my DH knows his habit is NOT helping us (he is actually very Intelligent and well versed in these issues) but I think if he were to see the results of a test it would be more proof he needs to get on the ball. Also, this might be the pre-curser to seeing a DR about a possible issue. I know that if I don’t “prove” his habit is hindering our process he’ll never “quit” per say. Anyhow anyone have any suggestions of @ home kits they’d recommend? I just want to start eliminating issues one at a time to see if we need to see a fertility specialist. I guess if all his stuff is A OK we'll have to see about some other things....

Thanks everyone!

[DivasMomma]

im not sure about any at home kits, but a friend of mine had the same issue with her husband...they ttc for a looong time and finally he came clean with their ob/gyn on what he was really doing, and the dr set him straight...ask to stop for a few months (I know its the end of the world ) just to see if things move along a little quicker for u! He obviously knows its not helping any!! GL!!!!

[JGonza]

The worse part is when I do express my feelings to him about it he'll say "well do you really NEED to have a baby now, that bad" and than I feel stupid. I know he doesn't mean it, because on some nights he'll say, "you should tell me a few day's before you O so I can 'prepare' " his inconsistency makes me NUTS!

[DivasMomma]

men will be men....

Maybe you guys should take a weekend together and tell him how badly you really want this, make sure he is on the same page, and set a specific month to really TTC from both of you....say its July...in June he will stop his activity, let him know before you O...and see what happens...im not sure how long it would take the sperm count to come up, but I would hope a month would help! Maybe just beat it into his head how badly you do really want this, remind him everyday! (Nicely, you dont want to turn him off from the idea) GL and keep me posted!!

[JGonza]

I will have to think of how to do it tactfully! Thanks and I'll keep ya posted :P

[jkl123]

Hi there,
I am not sure if there is a at-home test to help you with this particular situation. There are at-home tests that determine the level of sperm, and if he is doing "certain things", his sperm count may very well be affected. BUT... certain types of "activities" will affect the quality of the sperm (not necessarily the quantity) and I have not seen a at-home test that determines how healthy the sperm really is.
Just also wanted to note... he says you should give him a few days notice to 'prepare'... now, I obviously don't know really what 'habit' you may be refering to , but many drugs take a long time to get out of the system, and many have long-term negative affects on sperm (even something as simple as pot).
My suggestion to you is to do tons of research on the Internet about his particiluar 'problem' and the affects it has on his sperm and the health of an unborn child. Print out all this information and sit down with him so he can see it in black and white. Many men think we women over-exaggerate to make our point.

[DivasMomma]

i never heard of marijuana affecting the long term health in a fetus from the sperm...just the count. I would def research it....my friends ob/gyn didnt say n e thing about the affects either...just the count...but like i said...research it

[Kats Playland]

Originally Posted by DivasMomma

i never heard of marijuana affecting the long term health in a fetus from the sperm...just the count. I would def research it....my friends ob/gyn didnt say n e thing about the affects either...just the count...but like i said...research it

I've heard that too. I know several ppl who have this habit and have had kids, but most took a decent amout of time or were "oopses". But if I were you, talk to him... Just see if he can quit for a few months or cut back. This problem is like quiting cigs, you can do it, but it's not easy and if you're not strong enough you can start back up easy.
Good luck hun and hope everything works out.

[lynclarke]

Not to be a downer here, but is this really the guy you want as your child's father? He does not seem motivated to do anything to HAVE a child and the last time I looked at the pot users I know, they are not real involved parents. Food for thought.

[JGonza]

Lynclarke: Not to be rude, but my husband is a wonderful man, and I would refrain from saying anything about him (or anyone else spouse for that matter), because you don't know him. Oh, and just to let everyone know, I never said what my husbands habit is so stop making assumptions, this is turning out to be a game of telephone…I am beginning to wonder if I should have even brought this up at all! I mean and to touch on the topic of people who smoke pot and are not good fathers...you are typical because it is a mass OVER generalization of a group of people, which I would highly doubt you have done a research project on this topic and have had a test group of hundreds of men. And YES I want to have a child with my WONDERFUL husband who will be an amazing father and is an amazing spouse who I have been with for 6 years, oh did I mention his major reason for wanting us to wait is so we'll have a little more money (i.e. a little further in our careers so that we'll have more time to be good parents and not working 24/7 in our corporate jobs).....I'm sorry but please don't make such "typical" stereotypes, its rude, uninformed, and just makes you look plain stupid...