[emarknot]

hello everyone.
this is my first post here.

I am not entirely sure that this is even the correct website to post this, and if it isnt, I am truely very sorry.

to start, I live with the mother, no we are not married....of our 2 children, brayden, our son which is 2.7 years old. and our daughter acacia which is 7 months old.

this is just instance of what I mean by a "fake" parent.........
........this was this morning.............

I was awakened to the sounds of acacia restless and somewhat fussy. I could hear mary..(mom) making the frustration grunts. the I felt her get out of bed and heard her at acacia's bedside. so I figured that all was well-ish, and I tried going back to sleep. then shortly, acacia startded crying, and mary yelled "acacia! enough!" then shortly after that, I heard mary in the kitchen making a bottle for her.


well, shortly after that, brayden was crying and whining...not like a "whiner", just whining. I heard him say "diaper" atleast twice.
mary, said "enough! go back to sleep"
then he cried and she jusmped out of bed yelling "if you dont shut it up, im going to smack the f#ck out of you !"
well, as soon as I felt her get out of bed, I turned my head, as she was saying "if you dont", I climbed out of bed....as she was saying "going to smack the f out of you" I was standing behind her. and as she finished her remark, I said "no, youre not"
she really seemed shocked that I was right there. she just paused.

then I said, "youre going to change his diaper that he asked for" then I said "nevermind" , and I did it myself. after I changed him, I said "now go back to bed" and he ran into the room and jumped back into bed.

so I grabbed a ciggarette, went outside to smoke.
when I came back in, about 10 minutes, I went into the room to get my clthes to get ready for work.
as I walked into the room, I saw that mary had acacia in bed with her and had her on mary's tummy.
so I thought to myself "what....ever" and I got dressed and went back outside with yet another cigarette.

as I came back in,yet again....mary was up, had the kids out in the living room. acacia on her tummy time blanket, and asking brayden......do you want to eat buddy? what would you like to eat for breakfast sweetheart? baby boy, would you like some cheerio's ?

can anyone please help? there is way more to this, as this is just 1 example.

whenever mary thinks im sleeping or cannot hear her, she is one way, when I am around, she is so fake that it nearly makes me sick.

someone please

[emarknot]

32 views and no advice ?

[Sienna_Brown]

I do not know what to say .. you have to talk to her! Maybe, she is scared or depressed. You need to go to a professional, who can tell you what is going on between you two and your children!

[emarknot]

thank you.

it just blows my mind that she thinks this is an acceptable way to talk to a 2 yo.

I have walked in a couple other times before and heard her speaking to him in this way, and I just stand there completely dumb founded. all I can say is "wow"


im going to add a little more.

while I am home, and she is interracting with the children, she always looks at me, I swear it must be around every 40 seconds. but she does it in such a way that I feel she is trying to gain acceptance or a "hey, look at me ! i'm a great mommy"
be it as it may, I just know that when I am not around, she is not this way.

I am so disgusted by it, that nearly everytime I see her "being the mommy" my only thought is, "you're a fake"

everytime we "talk" and I tell her certain things, she goes even farther trying to prove something to me.

im just frustrated. sorry

[letschildproofdotcom]

that is no way to talk to a two year old, but are you sure that she is always like that when you aren't around? she could have mood swings all the time or get frustrated and with no one around but the kids... she probably takes it out on them.

[barbara1taylor1]

She is not normal you know that, right? How can you talk to two years old child like that? I don't know talk to her or something like that. Consult with some professional.

[emarknot]

Originally Posted by letschildproofdotcom

that is no way to talk to a two year old, but are you sure that she is always like that when you aren't around? she could have mood swings all the time or get frustrated and with no one around but the kids... she probably takes it out on them.

yes I am positive.
I have come home early from work, and I have heard her yelling at him. I have stood outside the door and listened to what she is saying and try to hear was he is saying or doing.....just trying to understand the situation before I go and and bite her head off.
there was an instance about 2 weeks ago where something like this happened. I was coming home, I got to the door and was screaming/crying, I heard her yelling at him , " I told you to f'ng stop, now go to time out right now. and shut it up stop your f'ng crying crying right now" then I walked in, and she looked at me like "oh s#it"
I asked her what was going on, and she said that he wasnt listening. and the rest of the night she was all , honey this, baby that, babby boy, sweetheart. and they were home about 15 minutes before I got there.


another time, we were both getting ready for work. I was in the bedroom getting dressed and she was in the living room standing in front of the tv watching a news story. brayden was talking and she kept saying "shut it up now" .

as I was standing and watching, brayden went and got mary her shoes and took them to her. he said, "mommys shoes" and was holding them up to her. then she yanked them out of his hands, threw them back in tue corner and said "i dont need you to bring me my f'ng shoes" and I said "is that really necasary? you had better appologize to him"

and for the next 15 mins or so, she was all nice until we all had to leave.

this is a very consistant thing. when she knows I am around and I can hear hear, not one swear word comes out of her mouth towards him.

and she does know how I feel, because I have a problem when she reffers to him as little turd, dummy, she has even reffered to him as an a-hole.........and I about became completely unhinged at that.

my mother watches the kids while we are at work, and she has noticed things as well.

here is a ONE TIME ISOLATED experience........
mary was supposed to go to work at 1pm. which means she was going to drop him at my moms at around 12:20.
I get a phone call from her at 11:47, and she said that brayden has a mark on his face. so I said, ok, so what?
then she said "no, he has a hand mark on the side of his face. he was screaming and I went to smack his mouth, and I missed"
so I told her to send me a pic of it. and she did. on the left side of his face, was a clear handprint of 4 fingers. from his check upto his eye.
so I called, and I said. wtf? thats nowhere near his mouth! and just hard did you hit him?" she said she was sorry, and said that he was doing his high pitched screaming because he didnt want to eat his food. and she told him to knock it off and he just kept screaming.

and then I said, so , you smack him across the face? and her reply was that when she went to smack him, he had turned his head, which resulted with the side of his face taking the hit. I asked her when she she smacked him and she said "around 8:30" .... so I just hung up on her. this handprint stayed there for nearly 5 days.

brayden has very sensitive skin, he was 6 weeks early, had to have ultraviolet for a week. his skin is so sensitive, that even his tears leave bright red streaks down his face.

so the conclusion is this.....
she smacked him at 8:30, by 11, the mark didnt go away and she started to worry. called me to tell me about it. because I guess it was suppose to make it ok ?

I talked to a couple people, and they suggested wait to see if it happens again...which it hasnt, and its been about 2 months. im not in the position to just up and move, taking the kids with me.
I really cant handle this anymore.
and we arent young parents, she is almost 29 and Im 37.

I just dont know

[emarknot]

well, it seems her behavior is worming it's way into my son's....uh...uh.... vocabulary for now.

the kids go down every night at 8pm. acacia still gets bundled with the blankies. you all must know the "burrito wrap". well, acacia gets a little fussy for about a minute or so because she gets frustrated from her arms being restricted. if she doesnt get the "burrito" treatment, she doesnt sleep very well, and is up every couple hours. when she is bundled, she wakes up maybe once during the night. typically around 3-4 in the morning. then a bottle, and out till 6-ish.

so tonight, kids in bed, acacia fussy. and I heard brayden say "acacia, be quiet"

seriously?

by nature, I am an observer. I watch everything around me. I take everything in, absorb my surroundings. sights,sounds and the relation between the two..


off topic, but I just now noticed that mary fell asleep today. she was off today.
im sure someone here wants to know, "how do you know she fell asleep?"

simple, I have 2 bookcases. they have the larger scale cars I have on display. there are a total of 9 cars on the one shelf.


ya know what? im not going to do this tonight. I started on this website on a negative note. I love my kids, I love to talk about my kids. I love my boy. he is so smart.
im so proud of him! im stopping here, to start a new post/thread about my kids. because they do deserve something more than sympathy.

[emarknot]

http://forums.families.com/showthrea...79#post1002679

this is the link to a happier side.

I really do love my little noodle.

[emarknot]

http://forums.families.com/showthrea...79#post1002679

this is the link to a happier side.

I really do love my little noodle.