[JeanLynn81]

If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.

If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.

This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"

Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"

If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"

Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to
marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.

Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics." You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."

Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Ya! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)

[LeanyBean]

I got a good chuckle out of these. I should try a few when they start to plague me again. I can go months without a telemarketer call then out of hte blue we get like 5 calls a day for a couple of weeks.

Thanks for sharing!

[QueenAngie]

Thanks for the great laughs!

[pamperedpeterson]

I really liked the "no" one the best.

[JeanLynn81]

Originally Posted by pamperedpeterson

I really liked the "no" one the best.

Me too! I could totally do that one!

[MissyChrissy]

Cute!

[MissyChrissy]

Oh-I'd all but forgotten....a couple years ago my brother answered to a telemarketer & he kept saying "I don't know" to whatever the guy asked him. One was, "What's your name?" and my brother replied, "I don't know." The guy was like, "You don't know your name?!" Tim said, "I don't know." LMAO! It was the funniest thing...that's all he'd say to the guy until he hung up.

[kimchee67]

My voice sounds like a little girl voice, so telemarketer always ask me if my mom is home. I just say no!

[MissyChrissy]

Originally Posted by kimchee67

My voice sounds like a little girl voice, so telemarketer always ask me if my mom is home. I just say no!

lol..you could say "I don't know" wouldn't THAT get them going! They'd think a 7-year-old was home alone

[MommaColleen]

How cute!

I always say I'm just the babysitter. Technically I'm not lying. If you ask DD (10 going on 25) she knows everything and could be in charge and some days I feel like I'm just there to watch the kids :0)