[pooh27406]

Hi!! My son is 8 yrs old and we lost my hubby's grandmaw on april 19, 2008. To this day he cries for her and we try to explain much as we can. The death was not expeted. she was only 66 yrs old and they told us that she died of a heart attack in her sleep. She was at the beach when it happened. He get very emotional about her.
How can we help him deal with this better? any advice?

[ruthann8]

I am sorry for your loss, it is never easy to lose a loved one. Does he understand that she is gone? I had a cousin that lost his grandma at 7 and he didn’t understand she was gone and did not cry for her until they lowered her casket into the ground. He suddenly go very upset and angry. He couldn’t understand why they were leaving her there. Children grasp things differently than we do. He may not fully understand until he is older. He would probably benefit from grief counseling. And it is ok for him to cry for her. I imagine I will cry a lot when my grandma passes on. But I think grief counseling may help him handle it better. It is always hard for us to see loved ones in pain.

I am not one to protect children from funerals, graves, death, etc. I think they better understand things when we don’t try to ‘protect’ them. IMO they need the opportunity to grieve and say goodbye to a loved one just as we do, and we need to let them do it in there own way.

[purelegance]

all kids are different, but when my grandfather died when i was 8, i understood he was gone. i don't remember going to the funeral or burial, but i just understood that he was in heaven and i wouldn't see him anymore.

maybe you can visit her grave with a little goodbye present made by your son?

[KR258]

I am very sorry for your loss. It is sweet he cries because that means he really loves her. How long ago did this happen? Some people just take longer to grieve. All you can do is let him know you're there for him and perhaps take him to a grief counseler if you feel like he needs more help dealing. Writing about how he is feeling or drawing or painting might help him express himself.

[ShannonGB]

Yes. Self expression is a natural craving for humans. God knows we always grab at a chance to express ourselves, consciously or unconsciously. Encourage him to write, to draw, to play an instrument, to dance or to sing however he wants to so he can express what emotion he is feeling. You also have to be a good example and show him that you are accepting death as a fact of life and that his grandmum is now in a better place.