[a_mad_mommy]

I dont even know where to start. I dont know if Im even writting where anyone can see. I dont know how to stop myself from being a bad mom!!! I have this frustration inside me that turns into rage! I yell at my kids for the dumbest reasons. I scare them. I get so mad. Today for instance .... its me and my 5 year old son home, my daughter at school. I wanted him to practice his piano. He started out good... then started kinda loosing interest, and goofing off a bit, and not concentrating.... I got so mad at him.... I yelled at him that his teacher is going to be mad, and that he might as well just quit, and to GO SIT DOWN AND WATCH TV CAUSE YOU DONT GIVE A **** ANYWAYS... he was crying, I was crying. Im sooooo sickkkkk offff meee!!!!!!! This happens often, over really stupid stuff. My kids are good kids too! They dont misbehave too much.... They are smart, and beautiful, and Im ruining them. How can I help myself?

[LeanyBean]

Sounds like you've been a fly on the wall at my house. You aren't ruining your children. Trust me. If this were all it takes to ruin a child, my children are irrevocably broken.

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

You are sounding really stressed right now. Life should not be that hard day to day.

Set a clock with a timer by the piano. That may help with the piano lessons.

Kids do know when Mom has lost it totally by screaming.
Every mother has done this at some time or another.
It does not hurt physically, but depending on what the words are, they do hurt emotionally.

What about 1-2-3 Magic?

Am wondering if you are not going through some emotional issues yourself.
Maybe a little depression because you sound pretty blue.
Perhaps talking to your doctor about this would be helpful.


(((Hugs)))

[a_mad_mommy]

Your so sweet. Thank you for the nice words, and actually good advice. I just feel like I am pretending! The worst thing I hear is "your such a good mom" I reply , I AM NOT, and they dont know how HONEST my reply is! I hate how my kids are scared of me.... I get mad at the littlest things. They start crying when they spill something, cause they know I will get mad ! I am the worst mom in the world. I may not hurt the physically, but I know what I do to them is much worse. They will grow to hate me. They will grow to hide everything from me. They will crave the day they can move away from the big ***** they have to call mom.

[MrsPowell]

You are not ruining your kids. Do you have a lot of friends? I notice when I'm not giving enough time to myself... not my mommy self... I get frustrated a lot easier. Usually if my husband and I have just argued I will be quick to snap at my daughter. I think what is impotant is that you make sure to explain to them that they are good kids and you love them very much, but even mommies can lose there temper. Parents that never get mad are the ones with some serious issues. If a child grows up in a family that never gets upset they do not learn about emotions, or how to deal with others when they express their emotions. You are a good mom and there are a lot worse, just turn on the news. Take some time to take care of your needs and feelings, maybe even talk to a professional for your own sake. But just know that none of us our perfect... we all feel like the most awful moms in the world at some point.

[jomend725]

My wife also gets ballistic with our son, sometimes she opens up to me and tells me she doesn't like it one bit but she can't control her temper.

[JeanLynn81]

Are the frustrated moms posting here stay-at-home moms?

I ask this because I was for a little while. I could afford it at the time, and thought it was best that I be able to stay home so I could get my daughter the therapy visits she needed. Well, my whole life became revolved around a toddler and there was nothing left for me. I got frustrated and upset. I yelled. I felt the heart crushing guilt afterward.

As soon as I started working again, I was so HAPPY to see my daughter at the end of the day, and over time I realized that "Hey a week has gone by and I haven't had one outburst!"

I'm not saying to get a job, but just relating my personal experience. IMHO I think that sometimes, no matter how much we love our children...we need to get the heck away from those monsters sometimes, lest we go completely crazy! lol

[IronyForLaughs]

You need to calm the hell down and be sweet to your kids. Kids don't respond to yelling and will remember it. I hate my mom for it, and they will end up hating you. You better stop before it's to late.

[aidensmom32]

First, being a mom is one the hardest things there is... I have a five year old, a two year old, and a six month old. I teach school and my husband recently got diagnosed with brain cancer.

It sounds like you should look into a therapist... I have an anxiety disorder that I take meds for and that I have many strategies for... nothing works perfect. The best thing that I have found is that I recognize, sometimes during the blow up, always after, and I talk with them. Even little ones understand. Tell them that even when you are yelling, you always always love them. Explain that sometimes you don't know why, but you can't seem to control your anger. Tell them that you know it is out of proportion. Explain that you are trying your best to be the best mom you can be but that you are not perfect.

And remember to try to care for yourself too. That is so hard, and it is odd that it is hard. But your kids look to you. And if we were to talk with you about this, the best thing would be to explain how you are imperfect but trying. to not give up, but acknowledge your imperfection so that you can try to improve it. That's all any of us can do. so try not to blow up. try to help yourself, and if you do blow up, talk to them after.

Stay strong. Be loving. Admit imperfection.

[eeveedee]

I agree with several points and suggestions from the previous posts. Definitely go see a psychiatrist. What you are describing is something I have heard very often in the psychiatrist's offfice. He or she will know just where to starrt with your treatment, your complaints are NOT uncommon. Also, make sure you are getting enough sleep. Lack of sleep can wreak havoc on our moods and emotions and self control. Also, try to get some you time. A long bath, some time away from the house, whatever you can manage that is responsibility free and enjoyable for you will have a great calming influence on you. Lastly, stop beating yourself up!! I have gone through exactly what you described. I apologize to my kids and tell them it's not their fault that I get so angry, but that I am in a bad mood. Hang in there girl!