[Joya123]

I do not have the most supportive family, I have been cursed with unsupportive parents

My relationship with my father has gotten worse. He often lies on me because he does not want me to live at home anymore but I have no where else to go. The few friends that I do have still live with their parents, I don't know my other relatives that well and they are not financial stable. And being that my father can be mean cold hearted and cruel they are just like him as well

I am in college right now trying to finish up my courses to get accepted into a medical program. I tried to register for summer classes but all of the classes that I need were taken. There are less teachers and classes offered in the summer so the classes go quick

My father lied and said that my school called to tell me that there were classes available. he told this to my mother. I never received such a call. And there is no way that there were classes available because there are none. He claimed that he gave me the phone. This is very untrue. When he overheard me telling this to my mother, he marched in my room and threatneed to kick my ***. He was being very irrational.

My mother doesn't know what to do. She isn't any better she can be just as abusive. My dad manipulates my mother(telling her when I leave the house I don't really go to school, I never do any homework or anything, saying I am not to be trusted) which really makes things complicated.

I cried because I feel hopeless. I don't even have the strength to continue on with school anymore. I don't know what my future is going to be. But I pray that when I die, I will be reincarnerated into a better family with a loving mother and father

This situation doesn't make my depression any better. My father kept telling my mother that I'm crazy and that something is wrong with me. So I go and get help. The doc put me on prescription meds for depression. And I am going to start therapy. This isn't enough. My dad keeps causing drama and I don't think any amount of therapy will help if he intends on making me miserable.

I don't want to not do anyting with my life, why would I not try to do better to get out of this abusive situation? If I had somewhere to go I would. If I could find a better job I would have it. But my mother and father just tear me down.

[mcmama]

The problem with enrollment is not unusual. But it is really not very likely that the college called your parents, since colleges do not share info about students with parents without the students permission.

I would contact your college advisor and tell them what is going on here and find out if the college violated your privacy in any way - and just what the truth is about available classes. If they did violate your privacy, that gives you some leverage. Obtain a statement in writing from the college of their policy on contacting parents. Then show it to your mother. AND your father if you feel this will not endanger you or your mom.

My son is an advisor at a community college; he sees all sorts of crappy situations with students who are trying to get ahead despite their background and family.

You mentioned antidepressants. If you go to your college health center, they likely can give you some support for your situation.

Perhaps the best thing for you at this point is to move out.

I personally know of one situation where a student needed to move out of her parents home mid year and was doing work study on campus. Some how they found a way for her to stay on campus during semester break, and found her help with housing. Not free, but something she was able to do.

[Joya123]

Originally Posted by mcmama

The problem with enrollment is not unusual. But it is really not very likely that the college called your parents, since colleges do not share info about students with parents without the students permission.

I would contact your college advisor and tell them what is going on here and find out if the college violated your privacy in any way - and just what the truth is about available classes. If they did violate your privacy, that gives you some leverage. Obtain a statement in writing from the college of their policy on contacting parents. Then show it to your mother. AND your father if you feel this will not endanger you or your mom.

My son is an advisor at a community college; he sees all sorts of crappy situations with students who are trying to get ahead despite their background and family.

You mentioned antidepressants. If you go to your college health center, they likely can give you some support for your situation.

Perhaps the best thing for you at this point is to move out.

I personally know of one situation where a student needed to move out of her parents home mid year and was doing work study on campus. Some how they found a way for her to stay on campus during semester break, and found her help with housing. Not free, but something she was able to do.

"then show it to your mother. AND your father if you feel this will not endanger you or your mom."
This would be not wise unfortunatley. it would make my father very angry, and when I said that the school did not call about available classes he got very irrational and threatened to "kick my ***". He'll just say, "it doesn't matter if its the truth or not you need to get the hell out this house"
I don't know why he wants me out so badly, I mind my own business and take care of myself. I do not drink, do drugs or sleep around or anything.
I am at a community college so they don't offer housing.
I'm not sure if its too late to try to transfer to a univeristy and live on campus during the summer. I need to get out of the house immediately, because things are just progressively getting worse for me.
I am often confused and don't know what to do. I feel very pressured to do something but nothing happens over night. When I discovered that all of the classes I needed to finish up my pre reqs were taken I was so devestated. I feel like God must be punishing me. Everything seemed to be well on track and then this happened
I have no where else to go. My one friend still lives at home with her mother, she's 24, and her sister is 27, while they go thorugh their problems her mother is very supportive of her while she tries to complete nursing school. I talked to my friend about getting an apartment but she refused, she is quite comfortable with her situation.
My relatinship with my father is beyond repair. When I do get up on my own feet, I don't think I can ever have a relationship with him. He is very cold towards me and says nothing but bad things and even lies and makeup things to justify his ill feelings. I don't know why my father is like this. I guess because I am a failure in his eyes.
I am also not allowed to be anywhere else in the house. I am not allowed in the computer room, in the basement, and I avoid the kitchen because he is always there. So when I am home, I reside in my room. But he will call my mother up at work, and complain to her that I am in my room all the time, and that I am sick and mentally disturbed. He'll go behind my back and tell her that I haven't eaten all day (I don't eat much because I am dieting) and just exaggerate the truth or flat out lie.
My mother sent me to a therapist and to see a doctor. I have been depressed which is true, could you blame me because of my upbringing? The doc put me on prescription meds, and I have been given a therapist.
Yet, he still keeps grinding and grinding on me about being crazy even though I am getitng help, and I am trying and putting in effort to do better. He just won't be happy until I'm gone.

[mcmama]

Contact your college advisor. There may be something that can be done with the courses, and you should find out if they called or not - because if they did, it could be a violation of your privacy. Some community colleges can also help match you up with roommate shares in apartments. It's not perfect but it is something. You may need to take a semester break and work at walmart or something like that, but I think you will feel better when you are out of the house.

Don't just stay in your room. Go to a public place, like the library, that is safe and where you can at least do something without being hounded.

You know you're a good kid. Hang on to that. It's who you really are.

You need to focus on getting out. That is just weird, why are you not allowed in the computer room or the basement? Is your mother allowed there??

What is he hiding??????

Gotta tell ya, having left a marraige where my husband declared certain areas "off limits" and knowing people whose husbands have secrets on the computer, it sure fits a pattern of abuse and control. Your dad may be hiding some very ugly stuff. But that has nothing to do with YOU.

[Joya123]

Originally Posted by mcmama

Contact your college advisor. There may be something that can be done with the courses, and you should find out if they called or not - because if they did, it could be a violation of your privacy. Some community colleges can also help match you up with roommate shares in apartments. It's not perfect but it is something. You may need to take a semester break and work at walmart or something like that, but I think you will feel better when you are out of the house.

Don't just stay in your room. Go to a public place, like the library, that is safe and where you can at least do something without being hounded.

You know you're a good kid. Hang on to that. It's who you really are.

You need to focus on getting out. That is just weird, why are you not allowed in the computer room or the basement? Is your mother allowed there??

What is he hiding??????

Gotta tell ya, having left a marraige where my husband declared certain areas "off limits" and knowing people whose husbands have secrets on the computer, it sure fits a pattern of abuse and control. Your dad may be hiding some very ugly stuff. But that has nothing to do with YOU.

He doesn't want me in the computer room because he doesn't like me using the computer. I love to read and chat online, and I used to stay glued to the computer and it annoyed him. The internet is very addicting. He used to complain and complain that I need to buy my own computer, which I did, a laptop and he complains that i use that too much while I am in my room. I just find the internet very comfortable and a way for me to escape what's going on in my life.
As for the basement, he doesn't want me there because I guess he is trying to make it so that I have to leave the house. I bought the flatscreen television that he is always down there watching. I wonder if they'll let me take it with me when I find a place
He doesn't restrict my mother from certain areas in the house, just me. I am not allowed to use the basement bathroom or anything. He'll tell me to "not bring my stankin *** down there" if I use it.
My mother really doesn't want me to leave, even though she is physically and emotionally abusive. There is a side to her that wants me to do better, and a side of her that is threatened and not sure. I feel that she is being pressured by my father to believe that I am a horrible person, who is lying about going to school. I even showed her my grades one semester to prove that I really do go to class and that I really do my work when I' m there. I had a 3.2gpa but of course that is long and forgotten

[Joya123]

I do think my father has motives for wanting me out, sometimes I think its because he may want to leave my mother. I don't know. When I was a teen he used to always say that when I got older he wants to buy him an apartment and live by himself.
Also, when I was 17, my father dropped this huge bomb to me. He told me that he had been accused of fathering another child by some woman. he claims that it was setup and that the blood tests prove he is the father but something crazy about it being a conspiracy. he told me that girl was around 9 I think at the time. I was shocked.
I have no idea where this little girl is because she is never talked about or anything. My mother does not know that I am aware of this at all. Once I walked in on her looking up something about paternity/child support, and I asked her, "why are you looking at that?" and she said, "it's for your brother" My half brother is 36 years old

[deedee1231]

It sounds like your dad is perpetuating a cycle of abuse. You are pursuing an education, which will make you harder to control, so he is trying to make it impossible for you to succeed. He wants to manipulate and control you but he won't be able to if you are educated and self-sufficient.

You really need to speak with your academic advisor. Community colleges in general are more supportive of students than big universities and they may have resources available to students in need that you are not aware of.

The community college I attended participated in a home sharing program. They would match up low income students with a person, usually a senior or a person with a disability, who owned their own home but needed help with upkeep. The student would get room and board in exchange for help with household chores or caregiving. A classmate of mine moved in with a very nice senior when she was evicted mid-semester, she paid $100/month and helped with easy housework like dusting and vaccuuming. Worked out very well for her.

I don't know how widely available this program is, but you won't know if it is an option unless you ask. If they don't have this exact type of program, they might have something else that will help you, but they will never know you need it unless you talk to someone. Don't let your dad keep you from reaching your goals. Find a way, you can do it!

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

Above new friends have given you solid advise. Use it.

Go to see your college advisor. Tomorrow AM, get an appointment.
He/she should be able to help you get an apt or rent a room or even a trailer.

The library is also a good idea - I'd be there from open to close to avoid going to the house.

Yes, you'll need a part time job. That's life. I always had to work part time in college. Most other students do too.

Please continue with your education. Do it for you.

Wishing you all the best! Keep us posted on your progress.

[pattiewrites]

You need to get out and fast. Look in the paper for rooms to rent for just a few hundred a month. Keep going to school and doing well. You seem like a good person, just with a ****ty dad. Move out, move on and forget about him. Try to look at it in a positive light, as an opportunity to break away from an abusive situation and move into a better life that you will create for yourself, rather than him controlling you and kicking you out. The best revenge is to live well and be happy. You can do it!!

[browneyes01]

I think maybe you and your father need to face what ever issues are causing you not to communicate with each other. why would he lie doesn't he think that you would have some recollection of talking to the school. It seems strange he should try to be more supportive of your interest. Maybe counselling would be something you guys can look into.