[vanaden]

With everything all up in the air still, I have decided that after maternity leave I will be home with my kids. I'm excited about it and also scared about finances but I'm trusting God that this is what He wants for me. I have been thinking about it for months and praying about it, thinking the answer would be a babysitter or daycare for my son, which I knew in my heart would not make any one of us happy at all. It actually brought me to overwhelming tears just thinking about it.

As you might know my husband has been working 3rd shift. They are wanting him back on first and we've been searching for someone to be with my son while we work. Everyone we know is having babies, or they work, or we just wouldn't trust them with our son anyway. I was just left throwing my hands up and saying "what do I do!" Feeling very inadequate as a parent.
I have not talked about how life really has been for fear that someone will jump all over me and tell me I'm a bad mom for my decision to work. The truth of the matter is, while my husband is home resting on the couch from working 3rd, my son is running about by himself for probably 4 hours a day. He watches TONS of t.v. to the point he thinks that is normal and wants it on as soon as he rolls out of bed. I just CRY all the time about it all. I want my kids to be healthy and taken care of emotionally, physically and in everyother way. I can't stand the way life is. I'm scared my son will get hurt and noone would hear him. I trust my husband, and he's not dead to the world when he's resting, but this isn't how I want our lives to be. My husband told me last night he thinks he is getting depressed from the hours he works. I think it is the sleep deprevation making him feel like that.
So it stands that I can be miserable and have money and feel like a failure as a mother and wife, or we can make some changes around here, cut down on expenses and I can be at peace that I am here being my children's mother and teacher instead of Spongebob! I think I like that choice better.

I haven't told my boss yet, so just pray for me that that will be an easy transistion. I don't know when to tell her, I'm sure she needs to train someone else before I leave. So how do I tell her?

[vanaden]

no opinions? Advice? nothing?

[jkvkdailey]

I say good for you for choosing to stay home! Finances will obviously be tight, but maybe you can come up with a way to make a little money - daycare, some type of work from home, or a part-time evening job after maternity leave.

As far as telling your boss, will it affect your maternity pay if you don't come back? I have known a few mothers who did not inform their boss of their decision to stay home until after their maternity leave was up - one even handed in her two-week notice her first day back - and worked the last two weeks so she didn't burn any bridges. I don't know your job situation so I can't tell you what is best in this case, but do you have to tell your boss now? Maybe you will change your mind or something else will happen during your maternity leave.

I applaud you for doing what you think is best for your children, it's easy to get caught up in the financial game and worry more about money than about our children's well being. I wish you the best

Kim

[mrmnmom82]

It's a tough decision to make. It sounds like you are making the decision for all the right reasons. I too have a husband that works 3rd shift, but because I am home during the day, I am able to make sure he gets quality sleep. It makes such a difference. We want happy husbands, and happy, learning kids.

Assuming you don't get maternity pay, they just hold your job until you get back, I would have the conversation with your boss 2 weeks before you planed on maternity leave. People are understanding of this decision. You aren't making this choice lightly. Just make it clear you are doing what you think is best for your family, and your boss will respect you for that.

[lavatea]

Good for you! It is very hard to balance what is right for your family with keeping your finances in order. But I believe that nothing money can buy can substitute for the intangible benefits your kids will receive from having a parent at home caring for them hands-on.