[coolbabe843]

ok heres the story me and my bf of 5 years have a son who is 8 months old...well my bf has always liked to hang out and drink on the weekends....but after we had brandon jr i thought he would calm down...that was far from the truth....lately he will go out on the weekends without me due to not being able to find a babysitter....its not fair for me to have to take care of OUR son by myself...i have told him several times that we made this baby together it shouldnt be when i cant find a babysitter he do what he wants...he should stay home and help me out too u know? well i dont know what to do i am tired of being a doormat....but then again the thing that keeps me here is our son i dont want him to grow up in 2 seperate homes...i didnt have both my parents at all and i dont want him to go through that too....i am so confused and i need help!

[NoRain]

I'm guessing you have expressed this all to him? If not that is where I would start. If you have, then he needs to take heed and if not you should seriously consider an alternative for you and your child.

[MissyChrissy]

I'm so sorry this is happening...but really, I can't understand why women always think men will be different when the baby comes. Men just do NOT have the mother instinct that women have, and change doesn't come naturally for them.

You cannot make someone change. He has to want to, and the first step in that direction would be him admitting that it's a problem that he goes out.

I know that's not the answer you want to hear...but that's really how it works. Just keep in mind that if you did separate temporarily, that wouldn't necessarily mean forever-and just maybe it would be a wake-up call to him that no, he cannot have you AND a bachelor/single life at the same time.

[mcmama]

Someone's missing here. With good reason.

[AudreyOka]

You mentioned you don't want your son to grow up in two homes, but do you want your son to grow up with a role model who drinks, goes out without his partner etc?

It's a really tough situation you are in. You have to decide what is the very best option for you and your son.