[hope11]

Hi,Iam a working mom and my husband has no role in family house works. I am responsable of everything in the house.Iam very tired and stressed.
I have 3 kids.
please , Ineed ideas or tips to organise my time to have some time for myself and to maintain my family in a good way.
Thank you.

[etali]

You say your husband has no role in the house work - I take it you are still together? Have you told him you are tired and would appreciate some help?

How old are your children? Can they get involved in doing some basic chores?

If you and your husband are both working, can you afford to get someone else in to do some of the house work?

I'd just prioritize - make sure the dishes get done and the clothes get cleaned. Keep the kitchen clean, but don't worry about a spotless livingroom, etc if you don't have the time happy and slightly messy is way worse than houseproud and stressed out in my opinion!

[fostermommy]

Hi,
Ok - you're going to think I'm really a nut...............but this saved my marriage.
My husband and I fought for years about housework. He grew up in Central America with a maid, a nanny, and a mother who did not work outside the house. As newlyweds, I once mentioned cleaning the toilet and his response was, "I clean the toilet every time I use it.....I flush!!!" Oh boy - did I have my work cut out for me. After years of nagging and fighting, I finally came up with a "system": I divided up my house into 5 equal segments needing cleaning and made step by step lists for the cleaning routine in each room. Each list is hung on a peg with an initial on it. On Saturdays, each member of the family (hubby and kids ages 18, 16, and 12) gets their cleaning jobs from their peg, and must complete them. I rotate the lists, so every 5 weeks I clean the area more thoroughly than anyone else tends to do. But at least I don't have to do the whole house. They then take ownership of the cleanliness of that room in the end.
Laundry - I have separate baskets for lights, whites, reds, and darks in the laundry room. Every family member is responsible for bringing down and sorting their own laundry. Failure to do so means no clean clothes. I will wash, fold, hang the laundry and place in separate baskets in the laundry room. Each family member is responsible for putting theirs away. An overfilled laundry basket means mom stops doing laundry.
Dishes - THE "CHEF" DOES NOT DO DISHES. period. Whomever cooks - has no responsibility beyond the meal. Furthermore, nobody is allowed to leave the kitchen after dinner until dishes are done, counters are washed, and food is put away. If the chef is wanting to cook and the kitchen has dirty dishes or dirty counters from previous use, the Chef takes a personal day. No meal is cooked. I choose the restaurant. I usually pick an expensive one that's quite slow.
Believe it or not, my husband actually thought that I enjoyed taking full responsibility for all housework. I have lowered my standards a bit, but I believe that if I am working outside the home in order to pay the mortgage, then I should not have to live in a pig stye!!! I still feel that I do more than my fair share of the work, but it's much better now that it used to be.
I hope that this helps. Best of luck to you!

[chio88]

Originally Posted by etali

You say your husband has no role in the house work - I take it you are still together? Have you told him you are tired and would appreciate some help?

How old are your children? Can they get involved in doing some basic chores?

If you and your husband are both working, can you afford to get someone else in to do some of the house work?

I'd just prioritize - make sure the dishes get done and the clothes get cleaned. Keep the kitchen clean, but don't worry about a spotless livingroom, etc if you don't have the time happy and slightly messy is way worse than houseproud and stressed out in my opinion!

well said!

[jmmv08]

I agree with etali, since you are both working, I think getting someone else in to do some of the house work is a great idea.

[hbowne]

Ooooh! Foster Mommy you ROCK! I love the way you've set that up! We have a similar system, but not nearly so organized. And for Hope11, I don't know how old your kids are, but even at age 3 we had our children making their own beds and matching up socks from the laundry as part of their chores. It actually helps build their self-esteem to be able to complete these household tasks. Good luck!

[daphdaph]

hmmm... I think its a matter of taking things one step at a time and really just prioritizing and keeping to a schedule. In any case, if you need extra help with babysitting your kids or even a life coach to help you organize things, check out http://www.myjambi.com/ Its a sweet website and has helped me meet my service needs many times.

- Daphne