[sarafoster]

I moved in with my boyfriend last october.i also moved to a new job.im in a management position and i have two people higher up than me.one is the higher of the two and shes awesome. the other is my boss to and hes so cool.well he flirts alot with everyone @ work.all of us do it and it was never a big deal except that one nite his friend told me that he liked me. curiosity got the better of me for i liked him to even though i live with my boyfriend.so the next time that i saw him i started to really flirt back with him and the more i did the more flirtatious he became. To cut it short we ended up groping and making out with eachother for 3 hours @ work that nite. I feel even worse because i knew he was engaged and i love my boyfriend. well after that we ended up having sex. now we do it anywhere we can.worse im now friends with his soon to be wife. She doesnt have any interest in haveing sex with him anymore and my boyfriend has become very reluctant since we moved in together. my boss and i are strictly sex and we both kno that it cant go any farther but im begining to have feelings for him and the other day when we had just finnished he kissed me and told me he loved me. i know this should end but im completely infatuated with him.i dont know how to end this safely because he also has a very bad temper when you make him mad. worse i know that its only a matter of time before our other boss or an employee catches us going at it and we both lose our jobs. im sry this was so long but i have no one to talk to and no idea how to stop myself because i dont kno if i can.someone please help me!

[LeanyBean]

quit sleeping your boss

[sarafoster]

thanks for that obvious bit of advice.if i had known that this site isnt going to help i never would have joined. i just wanted someone to talk to and you obviously dont have the heart to listen. funny that when i tell this story and hes not my boss people have more compassion.

[Alejandros Mommy]

Hello and Firstly Welcome to Families.....

You are in a very tough situation...one I can understand from the other side...I was the one that was cheated on. I would reccomend that you try to end it as soon as possible...also If you love your BF you need to come clean to him....he deserves that...it will be hard..I won't lie..but your relationship needs honesty to survive...you don't want him to find out from someone else.

If your boss continues to seek you out stand your ground and I would report him....even if you "had" a relationship with him before...I also don't think he would want his fiance to find out....I would suggest not being friends with her...a true firend would tell her what had happend...and you really don't want to hurt her feelings.
Personaly I would come clean to her too...but that's just me....I hoep you can find a solution for you. Good luck.

[MJ7]

Sara, you came here asking for advice. Just because you don't like the advice you get doesn't mean it's not good advice. I don't know that most would have the audacity to come seeking advice in a situation where they are affecting the marriage of another family so I want you to know I am going to take your post seriously. You do have self-control and don't have to be making the choices you are. You say that you are becoming friends with the fiance? Sara, the way you're behaving does not make for a good friend. You want to end the relationship you've engaged in with this man? Then stop sleeping with him like LeanyBean suggested. You do not sound like a victim here rather a contributing perpetrator and you really ought to give yourself more credit. What you feel for this man is based on the deception both of you have formed your relationship on and it's not healthy. RUN, change jobs if you can. If you knew this guy was an angry guy, why on earth would you fall into such temptation?

Anyway, I hope for your own sake and those who you and your boss have affected you end the fling.

[rrowland05]

Ok so yes it is difficult-you are in love with two men. However you need to sit back and really evaluate the situation. You live with your boyfriend and you say that sex is not happening since you move in, well take it from a married woman, sex is what you make of it. Now if you are really trying to get him aroused and nothing is happening, you need to talk to him openly about your feelings and how it hurts you that you guys are not having sex.
Now the true question is are you still sexually attracted to your boyfriend? If so great, go above and beyond to get yours. Now if you are not and you feel like you wish you guys were just friends then you need to end it now for the sake of both of you. You can still be friends yet don't hold either of you back from having a true fulfilling relationship.
Now as for your boss, regardless of how great the sex is, it is just sex, even if he did say he loves you. I can tell you first hand that a man will tell you anything. Now does he love you or is he in love with you? If he was in love with you he would be with you and not her. Don't worry about his anger just tell him that you want to call things off with him as you want to make things right between you and your boyfriend. Now if you find yourself not being able to call things off well then truely that is just wrong since he does have a fiancee. What ever you do you need to stop the affair as you are only hurting your boyfriend and his fiancee and in the long run yourself. If all you are looking for is sex then you need to dump your man and find someone hot and single.
Now it is up to you if you want to tell your boyfriend about all of this. Yes telling him is the right thing to do but I also know the saying that what he does not know won't hurt him-you just better hope that he never finds out from anyone else. And as the double standard goes, if he was having an affair would you want to know?
Please also take note that I do hope that you and your boss have been using protection, but regardless it is only fair to you boyfriend and yourself to go get tested for any type of std.-Not want you want to hear but it is only fair if you are having sex with two different guys and one of them is unaware about the other.

I do hope this helps out and take care. Your life will become what you make of it!

[mcmama]

Originally Posted by sarafoster

thanks for that obvious bit of advice.if i had known that this site isnt going to help i never would have joined. i just wanted someone to talk to and you obviously dont have the heart to listen. funny that when i tell this story and hes not my boss people have more compassion.

Boss or not, your affair is messing up other people's lives. And on a site like this one, my guess is that quite a few women have been messed with this way!

Please figure out what it is that you want, and be honest with all the people involved. That's the most fair thing you can do. And I agree with MJ7, you may want to look into changing jobs for your own sanity.

Then deal with it. Counseling may help. Good luck.

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

Sounds like you like your job.
Also appears that there are rules in place at your work if
two employees are found sleeping together on the job,
you'll both be terminated.

In Pretty Woman, the movie....I remember the advise
"Never kiss them on the mouth."
Do you remember that part?
It's when they are having sex and
Julia chooses to kiss him on the mouth..falling in love with him.
That is a fairy tale romance.

What you are living is real life.
Your relationship w/ your boss is affecting not only him,
but you,
his soon to be wife,
and your boyfriend.

You are quickly going to have to choose: boss vs boyfriend.

You allready know that your boss is a flirt and a cheater.

If you choose the boss, he will cheat on you also.

Think about it.

All the best!