[brieanniepannie]

I really need to vent. I know I have vented about this before but UGH!!!
Mikael is just out of control.
He is an absolute doll for his babysitter and sometimes at home... he gives you this cheesy grin that you just cannot stay mad at him with.
But other times, he makes me rip my hair out!!!
He is in full meltdown mode. Like seriously, several times a day he has one.
It is so frustrating for me. He gets into everything (we are in an apartment and cant put on the child safety locks on the cabinets--nothing dangerous is down below though) but we still dont want him to get into it. So I just swat at his hand (not hard obviously) and say NO then remove him, but he will SCREAM AND SCREAM AND SCREAM because he is just so pissed at me. Then he goes back two seconds later and gets into it again.
Then I put him down to cook dinner and he throws himself on the floor screaming because I put him down. then he screams when I pick him up. Then he cries for a bottle then throws it on the floor when he gets it.
Bedtime is the WORST. He will fight and hit and headbutt me until finally he crashes out.
I try to let him run around and get the energy out before bed... but I have been giving him tylenol lately and since then it hasnt been so bad so his top molars may be coming in or something.
Sometimes I feel like a terrible mom. Realistically I know I am a fine mom but I feel like, what did I do to turn my little angel into THIS?! ugh!
I know its a phase.. but I dread the thought of another couple years of this. Seriously!? it is such a battle of the wills and I just dont know what to do. I know he is just getting independent and wants to do things for himself, but at the same time what he wants to do he cant do!!! I know he is just frustrated... but I cant help but wonder if there is a different way to handle it. Right now i just let him throw his tantrum. I am not gonna fight with him over it. Eventually he loses steam and turns into a good little boy again.. for a few minutes anyway.
I must sound terrible, I guess I am just at my wits end right now.

[kalhayd2]

(((hugs))
I could have totally wrote your post. Almost word for word(except the Tyenol bit).

It is a total battle of the wills here. We have meltdowns daily, but staying consistant is the key. Thankfully, we gate off the kitchen to avoid the destruction of the cabinets! But she'll try and climb the gate and SCREAM for me to come back if I leave for 2 seconds! Frustrating.


Today we had a 20 minute stand-off about ripping the DVD's from the entertainment center. I won.
I think a lot of it has to do with the language barrier. Their minds are racing, but they're not physically capable of expressing needs/want/emotions. Hang in there.
It is a phase. I long, tiresome, never-ending phase. K's only 12 months and she seems to become MORE stubborn by the second. Right there with you, Mama.

[LovingJesusinAZ]

I'm over a year into this battle of the wills. My son started at about 14 months and he's now 2 yrs, 4mo.

Like pp said---the only solution is to be consistent and do whatever YOU have to do to AVOID giving in to a temper tantrum/whining/crying/screaming. Even in the middle of the grocery store!

I was at Target a few weeks ago and decided to treat myself to a Starbucks. My 2yo felt the need to scream the ENTIRE time we were in Target "I WANT MOMMY'S COFFEE". I'm sure everyone looked at me strange, but oh well. I wasn't giving in to a 2yo! I couldn't leave because we needed diapers--were down to our last few.

I have a 3 mo. old as well, so it makes life fun I joke that it's a good thing this battle of the wills started after I found out I was pg otherwise there might not be a second

[angelic_ky]

Gabby is much the same and if this is standard behaviour for 1-2 yrs old i'm dreading the terrible 2's... the language barrier is a lot of the problem, Gabby will whinge and cry until i work out what it is that she wants, unfortunately i don't understand what a little flick of the hand and "sss sss" means (ok i know it means i what that, but what is that?) and if it turns out that she can't have whatever that is then it's totally meltdown, if she is throwing herself around i just let her go until she has calmed down a bit and once she is calmed down enough to listen (or if she is just crying) i get down to her eye level take her hands in mine and rub the back with my thumb and then try to explain it to her

[ASheppa0821]

The important thing is for you to remain calm, cool and consistent. It's amazing what kind of reaction you can get from a child by giving them the right staredown... If you get upset, they'll get more upset. Make your point firmly, but make sure they don't see you freaking out. If you're calm and just "matter of fact" about it, he'll see you're the boss and relax a lot sooner. Emma has her meltdowns (in fact, I just vented a couple weeks ago!!!), but they're starting to really let up because she knows that when I say "No"... guess what... I MEAN NO! Now, all I have to do a lot of times is just look at her and she chills out. And I agree - try to keep yourself in a situation that won't cause havoc... You won't always be able to avoid it, but for him to learn to stay calm and for you to keep your sanity, the grocery store visit might have to wait awhile, or an errand might have to be put on hold so he can nap. You're doing a great job! Just keep going, and he'll work it out in his mind eventually. Just DON'T GIVE IN!!!

[wanna be a young mother]

Yep same way here. Nevy is so bad that we took her into get her x-mas pics done and she cried in EVERY single photo ! The one in my siggy that looks like a smile....is actually her opening her mouth to cry. We just caught it at the right time it almost looked like a smile !

It is really bad with the xmas tree too. I am really thinking about making a recording of "Nevaeh Inez if you touch that tree one more time your going to get a spanking!!" to play back all day long b/c I feel like I say it 100x's a day! I really dont spank but I do smack her hand (of course not hard) but she is now in the habit that when you do something she doesn't like she smacks your hand ! So I've stopped the smacking.

Now I get down on her level, look her in the face and say No you cant have/do that. Then I bring her over to her chair and sit her down on it. Then I just walk away while she has a melt down on the chair. When she's done she gets up and goes on playing. It's not really a time out b/c we dont make her stay there for a certain amount of time but it takes her away from the situation and lets her know she cant do that. I've been doing it for a week now so I'll let you know if it works Ahhh the joys of parenthood!!

[twinzplus3]

Wow--what are you doing when he throws a fit?

[brieanniepannie]

he throws a fit because I say no or because I put him down. I dont "do" anything to make him mad except for take away something he shouldnt have or say no.
Right now I move him into the living room and let him have his melt down, I cant calm him down. Sometimes I try distraction "mikael look at the toy!" but usually i let him scream for awhile then he goes back to his normal self.
I think he's actually sick right now too so that might be part of it...
Im glad to know that im not the only one with this.
Jennifer---Mikael is the SAME with our Christmas tree!! A couple times of swatting the hand and he has pretty much learned he cant touch. He still "pokes" at the ornaments while looking at you to make sure you see that he isnt taking the ornaments off just poking them... but hes been really surprisingly good with the tree.

[twinzplus3]

Originally Posted by brieanniepannie

he throws a fit because I say no or because I put him down. I dont "do" anything to make him mad except for take away something he shouldnt have or say no.

Oh no I'm sorry--I didn't mean what are you doing to make him do that. . .I meant what is your response? I realize after I read your response that it did sound like I was asking you what you did to cause his fits. . .but not what I meant at all. Please--I have five and know well that all you need to do to "cause" a fit is declare that the sky is blue on a day when your child wishes it could be purple. Sorry 'bout that.

[brieanniepannie]

i wasnt sure how you meant it thats why I answered it both ways. No worries I know before I had Mikael I would look at people who's babies were just screaming at the top of their lungs and was like, uh what did you do?? I know its bad but I did. Now I COMPLETELY understand.