[sarabeth]

I am 27 years old and have been with my 31 year old husband for 12 years. He is an addict and went into rehab yesterday 7/27. We have a ten year old son and he and I are both not coping well. I would love to have online support information, or to hear from other families in the same situation.

[jade46]

Wow, that sounds hard. However, at least your husband is getting help. Have you looked into some support groups of the families of addicts? Where in East Texas? I'm from NorthEast Texas...near Longview/Tyler area. I lived in the Dallas/Ft Worth area for years. Moved back home a few years ago.
Anyway, I hope your husband gets the help that he needs.

[smk318]

Sarabeth - I am sorry to hear of your difficult situation. I believe that the most important thing you and your son can do is to be there for each other. I agree that looking into local support groups would be beneficial as well. However, you and your son are the two who are closest to the actual situation and thus are the most likely to help each other through the difficult time. I am happy to hear that your husband is getting help and hope that you can use that as your strength ... knowing that he is trying to get better should be the focus of your hardship. Please make sure that you and your son are communicating and sharing your thoughts and feelings. This will help to avoid bottled emotions which only worsen the situation. I wish you all the best.

[keac]

Hi, I'm from the other side, I know how hard it is! have you tried alnon for kid and for your self? I know it helps with the deep anger that you must be feeling! I know it helped my husband,

[beth]

Hi Sarabeth, I'm happy to keep in touch with you on-line when you need to. It's really great that your partner has gone into rehab, it's been a long haul all these years for you and your son now that he is old enough to have an idea of what is wrong with his dad. As mentioned by others, AlAnon would be good for you both, but also try to do one fun thing together each day, even if it's just buying an ice-cream and eating it together. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate at all. The idea is just to let each other know that you are a team. Keep him exercising as well, he probably already plays sport, but keeping him moving will help dispel anger, sadness, fear, and anything else he is feeling. This goes for you too. A 20 minute brisk walk will assist in getting you through this time. Above all, talk to someone about how you're feeling. Even if the talking cannot change anything, it changes the chemicals in your body simply by letting them out. And cry too. That's nature's most efficient stress release. You've come this far, you can go farther. As Winston Churchill once said: If you're going through hell, keep going!! Please stay in touch.

[keac]

We can make our own support group! Please fell free to ask us anything! and if you need to vent I'm a good and letting you go on and will only add what I think you need to understand! So Please email me of post it here, Maybe some other's will have a idea or two!
Karen

[beth]

Hey, Keac, it would be great if we could get a support group going on some of the forums on Families.com. At times in our lives, we all need a little (or a lot!) of support, and knowing there's someone to talk to helps to dispel some of the pain. Good idea!

[jgreene]

Sarabeth, this sounds like a very difficult situation...I am so glad that your partner is seeking help and I hope that all goes well. I am writing because I have a lot of personal experience with addictive family members. What I have learned is this: They will only stop when and if they want to, and not a minute sooner. They often do not ever stop. It is admirable to stand by your loved one, but please don't neglect yourself and your son. A person can waste a lot of time trying to help someone else with their addiction and never be successful. Al-Anon would be a great place to explore these and other issues. As for your son, he is at an increased risk for problems of his own. I would definitely seek professional help/support for him, too. People can change, and I do hope your partner does for his own and for your sake. Good luck! I will be thinking of you.