[kiwittc]

While AF is visiting and I am P***ed off already ...

we decided that as the ILs have xmas breakfast / brunch and as Ella is nearly 2 - we would have Dh me and Ella at BF and invite them for dinner...They NEVER do a xmas dinner...

but NO - they have decided they cant come...they are going to Dhs brother and his wife who have a 13 year old for dinner and "might" come out for afternoon tea...Ella sleeps for 1-2 hours from noon to 2pm or thereabouts...

so I am P ed off....it is her second xmas and as the only "child" in the family (the 13 year old is a step grandchild) you would think xmas was important and it IS all about her after all....and I dont want to drag her around town (30 - 40 mins drive to them- but they expect us to go to them and back again!!!) half the day.

what is with these people....I dont get it!!! When SIL saw me the other day (DHs sister) she told Ella she would see her xmas for dinner...I told her no she wouldnt - we are not coming up and your parents have refused to come to us for dinner...the look on her face was pure shock - she was not aware of it at all!!! So guess she wont be seeing ella on xmas day - her choice as she has a new man and is oncall with him in her local area for xmas day....

I am soo glad Ella has me and DH and my mum and all the other extended family to see her xmas day as the ILs dont seem to give a toss that it is all about her - they think it is all about them...Im standing strong and not budging on this one...how dare they!!!

ok rant over....

[Samual]

Christmas isn't just about one person, its about everyone. You can't expect someone to do what you want every christmas, I'm sure you would be angry if every year your inlaws went round to your husbands brothers instead of ever coming to your house. It seems its far easier for everyone to meet at your inlaws house, half an hour isn't long to drive and certainly not all day, if you leave when Ella's nap is due, she'll probably just sleep most of the journey. You aren't willing to drive the short distance, but don't seem to accept that they would also be driving that distance if they were coming to you.

We have to drive 6-7 hours to go and see my parents at christmas, how dare they!

[mrmnmom82]

Sorry I don't really understand the "It's all about Ella" comments. I have 6 older sisters, it can be difficult trying to get everyone together on the same day, but we really try to accomidate everyone because Christmas should be about being together. Some have to travel farther than others, but each year someone else is having to make a sacrifice or move something around. That's what it's like to be in a family, a little give and take.

I understand it can be frustrating traveling with children that have nap times, but maybe she will sleep in the car if you travel during her nap time. My mil lives an hr. away, so I do understand.

I hope you are able to work something out and everyone is able to see each other and visit, and just enjoy being together, with no hard feelings.

[kiwittc]

yeah guess i didnt explain too well...

these people NEVER come out here...never!!! and did for xmas last year only for afternoon tea..and cancelled xmas the year before for them as the BILs wife and child went overseas....hence noone else counted....

there are no other kids in the family at all....so Ella is pretty important in the equation...and none of us have a religious background so xmas is about the kids mainly and having a relaxed day with family....I grew up with this and wanted the same for my kids...

these people dont even phone our home...they call DH on his cell!!! They dont come over for any reason....if we invite them they cancel or find excuses not to come....yet they expect us to go to them all the time....so hence the annoyance....we organised xmas day around ella and gave them 2 plus months notice so they could come to dinner and still nothing....in fact they havent even told me they are coming for afternoon tea yet...i found out from Dh that they had mentioned that they "might" come out....

argh........

[MissyChrissy]

I wouldn't worry about it. If they come-great! If not-well, something came up. You can still have a good day without them.

If they were snooting you for any reason-it's on THEM. Let them carry their own baggage and don't worry one instant about it. It won't bother your daughter unless you make it an issue. Believe me-I know this from experience.

[mrmnmom82]

It would be nice to see them make an extra effort, especially at this time of year, but I wouldn't make a big deal. Don't let it ruin your family time. It must be hard seeing them put the time and effort into seeing other family but not yours, but look at it this way, some moms on here are trying to keep their inlaws AWAY!