[ruthann8]

When I first found out I was pregnant I started to set some family boundaries. This is our first and it is the fist grandbaby on both sides. My first request was that no one would be staying with us during the first month. I actually wouldn’t mind it if one of our moms wanted to come and spend a few days with us, but with my MIL it is not an option. With my MIL comes step FIL and little SIL. When they visit I spend the whole time cleaning up after them and they eat all our food. And step FIL and little SIL are always bored.

At our baby shower a few weeks ago (which was planned for what was convenient for the In-laws) I learned they were planning on skipping Christmas this year and waiting until the baby was born. I'm due the end of Jan. The weekend after the baby they were planning on staying at BIL’s house and celebrating Christmas at our house. That way they wouldn’t have to travel twice.

Well I am NOT hosting Christmas after the baby is born. That is just too much for me. I would be glad to have Christmas prior to the baby. Nobody asked us. So I had my DH talk to his mom. I don’t mind if she visits but we are not having the In-law Christmas at our house, someone else will just have to have Christmas. That is just too many people and I will not have the time or energy.

Well, she is just crushed and feels like we don’t want her here. Our mom’s are best friends, so of course she talked to my mom about it. My mom explained things a little better than my DH and made her feel a little better.

I feel awful about it but I don’t think I can handle all that right after the baby and I feel like we are planning everything around what is convenient for the In-laws. My MIL has had a very tough couple of years, financially and emotionally. But I see them with so much more than what we have, so I have a hard time feeling sorry for them. But emotionally I don’t know how she has done it; I would not have been able to handle it.

My DH will stand behind any decision we make and I am very thankful for that. But I (and especially my DH) feel bad and want to just give in to what my MIL wants. My MIL has been very good about it and has not made us feel guilty, we can just tell that she is not happy about it. I am way too emotional about it and I think I am trying to hard to please everybody.