[dumbfounded]

I don't know really where to start, My wife is an R.N., and i just found out that she is addicted to prescribction pain killers, she got arrested Sat. afternoon and stayed in jail for 24 hrs and was charged with a felony 3 degree, it took everthing I couold do to get her out , now her work is not going to fire her but she must complete a rehab program plus be in a peer assistance group, not to mention what the county will want her to do, she will be off work for at least 2 to 3 weeks, the nurses peer group wants her to do 90 AA or NA meetings in 90 days the rehab wants her to attened 3 , 3hr meetings a week plus attened 3 AA or NA meetings , now I'm not complaining I know we can do it , but here is my problem I feel guilty because when her mom died I did not try to get her some help to deal with the grief, I thought it would pass with time, that is when she began to abuse her meds for a cronic knee problems, I saw the warining signs but choose to ignore them, now i have nitemares abut her sitting in jail crying, be treated like a common criminal, the harsh treatmeant , cut off from her kids and me, I look ahead and the road that she must take gives no room for mastakes, I just don't know what to do for her or myself , I try to be strong for her, but inside I am crumbling, I know that if she loses her Lic. she will fall apart , she loves her job, she loves working in the ER, but she cain't do that for at least for a year I've never been one to ask for help or not been able to deal with our problems at home but I've lost my grip....... she is EVERTHING to me, I don't want her to think I don't trust her ,but some times I have more questions than she cas answer
Dumb

[TanyaRFB]

I'm living in a similar situation, and I know that I can't answer your questions. But does it help to know that you're not alone? It's terrifying to think that you could lose the most important thing in your life to an addiction.

[dumbfounded]

Thanks Tayna, I really think she will get through her recovery , but I wonder if i will , if things can ever be the same , we went out to nite with some freinds and she did some things that really bothered me, no drugs or anything like that, just the way she acted, it didn't go like I thought it would she did some things , that i thought were not rite I really wanted to be with her

[mcmama]

One thing that struck me about your earlier post, you felt guilty. You know, lots of people deal with grief, but they do not turn to drugs. While you can accept responsibility for having let her down at the time her mother died, it is not your fault that she turned to drugs.
Recovery is hard, but it is good that you will be there for her and for your children!

[markbarnes19]

Asking questions shows you care. She'll probably think you're probing, which will become a trust issue. The fact is she has broken your trust. You need to make her understand that in order for her to regain it, she has to believe in you and work through this very difficult problem. You may seem more like an enemy than a friend, until she's through it, but it will be worth the heartache in the end. Good luck.