[cam0825]

Is there anyone else in my same situation? My situation is I got married at a the age of 20 due to the fact I was pregnant. At time of going through with the marriage I was second guessing myself but still end up marrying. Now I have two kids and feeling awful because I married someone due to lust not love. The issue is I'm in love with another man that I felt should have been my husband. But I'm afraid to let go of my husband because we have two kids together and I don't want to disappoint them by leaving there dad. I feel as if I have three kids instead of two. Can anyone give me some advice.............

[mollymae]

I don't think you should stay in an unhappy relationship it's never best for the children.

[Alejandros Mommy]

Fist off hello and Welcome to families

I agree with Jo (mollymae). I too was PG very young and had the option of 'getting married'. I chose not to ask I felt a baby is not a good excuse for getting married. I am so glad that I chose not to....other wise I would have been in an abusive and unloving relationship. Now I am married to my soulmate and I have no regrets in my choices.

If you don't love your spouse then let him go. Let him find someone that will love him unconditionally. He deserves that....and so do you. You don't want to show your children that settling for an unloving relationship is normal and that they should be happy with whatever life throws at them. This is not a healthy thing to teach your child.

You children may be too young now to understand BUT they will understand when they are older. Children are far smarter then we give them credit for.

[mrmnmom82]

We all feel like our husbands are like children sometimes, but saying that obviously doesn't make us want to treat them with respect. There are a few other threads on here about respecting our spouse that might help you see him in a more possitive way.

Did you feel like this other guy you love now should have been your husband before you got married? Did you know him before you got married?

[mcmama]

Is there abuse going on, or is it that you just found someone who turns you on more?

When you have children, a marriage is worth hanging on to if it is at all salvageable. Mine wasn't, but the grass is not always greener once you've gone through divorce, custody, etc.

You should separate if the marriage is unworkable, but give it serious thought if you've found someone else. What are your trade offs in the real world, and what happens when that relationship fades as well?

[mrmnmom82]

Have you ever heard the 80/20 rule? You're getting 80% of what you need at home, but you have looked elseware and are getting that 20% somewhere else. Is it worth losing the 80%?

I believe that love isn't just a feeling. It's a decision and an action. Have you tried counseling? You want to be sure you give it every effort.