[Stubby298]

I have been married for 21 years to a man who has 5 grown children with families of their own. A granddaughter got married with all the trimmings of a big wedding. At the reception, grand parents were introduced, except me, the step grandmother. I was quite hurt and havent said anything to anyone, except my husband. He thought it was not right but hasnt said anything to his daughter or grand daughter. We live out of state and phone calls are few and far between. Im sure they did this to not upset the ex wife. The exwife still cries, so I am told. So, do we talk to the daughter and grand daughter and let them know it was rude or just let it go. Guess I was told where I stand in the family. I would appreciate some comments on this. Thanks

[mcmama]

I had a step grandma. It would have been very awkward for her and my grandma to have been in the same room. Everyone was pretty much dead or distant by the time I grew up and got married. But if you were in the child's life from the beginning as step grandma, and there was a relationship there, you should have been introduced.

Your granddaughter is lucky that you are all alive and well and able to attend her wedding. I was pretty much alone when I married, since everyone from the grandparent generation was dead or not able to travel. My parents were dead too, and some of my relatives traveled to be with me on that special day. It was appreciated.

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

Must have been a lovely wedding!

But the fau pax has left a bad taste in your mouth.

Can we re-write the story and have you be introduced as a step-grandma? Not really.

At future family weddings, your DH should make it be known ahead of time to his adult child, that you also need to be introduced.

Wishing you all the best!

[Stubby298]

Thanks for the replies. I know I just have to let it go. There are other grandchildren that someday will get married and my husband will have to deal with it then. As for being in the granddaughters life from the beginning, yes but we were not invited to birthday celebrations becuase the ex would not have it and the daughter did not want to cause problems. This is when we lived close by. I just thought that they did care, but live and learn. Im sure its hard to cope with a divorce in a family and I try to be understanding. It just makes it very hard when they do come to visit and act nice and really dont mean it. I made my bed and guess the sheets have some wrinkles that will never come out. Thanks for listening and your comments.

[Tracey with 6]

my kids have a step grandma, she is introduced as her first name,as is my mothers new partner , if they are nice to you I'd take it that they like you, they are just concerned that they don't upset eth other lady, but I still take it as bad form that you werent introduced, we introduce my fathers wife as Linda ,not grandma, if that makes any sense.

[Stubby298]

Yea, like Queen Angie said, I can rewrite. It would have been nice tho.

[MissyChrissy]

Angie is right, as always. The adults need to grow up and act like it...you've been with him for 21 years, it's time everyone accepted the situation for what it is. If 'someone' would have hurt feelings, then she should go to therapy. You're very much a part of that family and deserve to be introduced.

[Stubby298]

Miss Chrissy, Therapy for that 'someone' would be wonderful. I have thought of that for a while. Thanks for the heads up.