[snitadear]

to put hot sauce in the mouth as a way of punishment for a 7 year old and a 3 year old? The mother is no longer in the picture (she used this form of punishment) and now the 3 year old especially asks if hot sauce is in a lot of things we eat. We told them that nobody else will ever give them hot sauce. Any other suggestions as to how we can help them? We think they were traumatized.

[mcmama]

Yes, it is abuse. Any time you invade a child's body, especially the parts that have to do with nurturing or pleasure, you distort their perceptions of that pleasure.

She sounds like a total wack job.

[letschildproofdotcom]

It is definately abuse. I think time will heal them. As they grow up they will probably notice that people are using hot sauce normally and realize that they just had a crazy mom and that there's nothing actually wrong with hot sauce. But if it does persist, you should seek a professional, so phobias do not develop.

[NavGabeShiJude]

That is definately abuse! My parents used to use soap whenever I did or said something wrong, and I remember getting violently ill each and every time.
Any thing that is used not to correct behavior but to punish should be looked at as abuse. How could placing hot sauce on a child's tongue teach them to be nice? teach them to not touch something? it couldn't... so it is used as a punishment so it is abuse.
Just give them lots of love and show them that parents can parent without abuse, show them that they can trust you to not hurt them.