[wanna be a young mother]

I have a sister who is 14 and if she even THOUGHT about having sex right now I would dump Nevaeh off with her for a week and let her see how having a colic,reflux, up all night, never stops crying baby is and then lets see if she still wants to have sex!!! Everyone talks about getting pregnant and STD's but what about that child? What kind of mom would a 14 year old be to a child? Could you proved for it? And no I dont mean Mommy and Daddy buying everything for you. I mean could you get a job good enough to pay for a baby? At 14 I DONT THINK SOOOOO! A baby raising a baby thats exactly what it is! Just the thought of my sister having a baby at her age makes me want to smack the living daylights out of her. Maybe thats what the young teens of today need! A good old fashion SMACK!!!

[Zoe]

Got to agree....14 is way to young to be having sex. Regardless of how informed you are. I lost my virginity at 15 WAY TOO YOUNG. Wait wait wait! Until you are older ( a lot older ) and in a committed relationship.

[mcmama]

As i said before, it isn't just about babies.

Regardless of whether what they do could result in a baby, they are not ready for it at 14.

[twinzplus3]

I have to agree with Janet. It's not just about any of the "tangible" consequences of sex. It's not about the possibility of pregnancy or of STDs. Those could happen--but they might not either. But any time you enter into a sexual relationship with someone there are emtional consequences. . .an attachment to that person that frankly a 14 year old isn't ready for. It's not really about being sexually educated. It's about gaining the maturity that comes from perspective. . .that can only come with age. Like others have mentioned, we too teach our children that when they are ready to commit to a person for the rest of their lives. . .and take that commitment, then they're ready to have sex.

[aimeejensen]

Im 20. and I think I was the only one I knew of in my WHOLE school that hadn't had sex. I was taught to wait for marriage. Even though me and my husband were high school sweethearts, we knew it was important to wait till we were married.

[MommyDee]

I waited until I was 18 -- legally an adult -- and I still wish I had waited longer. 14 is way too young to be dealing with the emotional consequences of sex; it's a time to focus on school, having fun with friends, and planning for the future -- without having to worry about the many consequences of a serious or sexual relationship.

[DivasMomma]

I dont know what the statistics are but EVERY person I know who had sex BEFORE they were 16, had a baby BEFORE they turned 21...My DH was 14, and our first DD was born when he turned 20, plus i can add quite a few more of my friends/aquintances to that number...can anyone else? or does anyone know any stats on the matter?


ps

i dont agree at all...they need to be taught to wait....boy or girl

[LeanyBean]

No way should a 14 yr old be having sex. No matter what they know or how many precautions they take, they just are not ready, period.

I was barely 15 when I started having sex and I will be the first to say that it was far from a wise choice on my part. I was never told to wait until marriage or until I was an adult or anything of the sort. I just figured from a very young age it was something that married folk did. I had every intention of waiting until marriage but we all know even our best laid intentions don't always come to be. Luckily for me I have only had sex with the man I call husband as well as never contracting anything unless you count children as STDs. And to add to what a previous poster said, I did have a child before I turned 21. I was 2 months past turning 19 when my oldest was born. I will be telling my boys that I prefer them to wait until they are married and if not then they need to be in a committed relationship and to know what they are getting into before engaging in sexual activity. I just want my boys to know exactly how I feel about them and sex before they make any decisions they cannot take back.

[LovingJesusinAZ]

Add me to the huge "no" list

I was a virgin when I got married (at age 27!!), but that is not to say I was pure. I made a lot of bad choices re: guys and crossed a lot of boundries I never intended on crossing.

Even in my mid-20's there were huge emotional issues that came along with some of those relationships that I could barely handle then--never mind 10 years younger!!

Also . . . sex now doesn't just involve you. It will impact your future spouse. Say you become sexually active at a young age and while you may be fortunate enough to escape the potential physical consequences of STD's and children, you face the emotional consequences yourself, but you also ask your spouse to deal with your choice. DH is 10 yrs. older than I am and he was not a virgin when we got married. He actually felt the need to apologize for me because he felt guilty he didn't wait for me like I waited for him. I have forgiven him and I know those decisions had nothing to do with me. That being said, we have now both been affected by the decisons he made at 18.

We work with high school students at our church and he had flat out told the guys in his small group that having sex with his girlfriend (and subsequently living with her) is the single biggest mistake/regret in his life.

I've never met anyone who regretted remaining a virgin until a) their wedding night or b) they were in a commited relationship later in life but I have met PLENTY (including some pp here) who regret having sex at a young age.

[dhilbert]

14 is way too young, it changes your whole life. i had sex for the first time at 16, was on bc, used a condom, and yet my 1st daughter was born 9 days after my 17th birthday. Father not in her life or mine, still is not. then when i was 18 i thought it was ok to have sex with my live in partner since i didnt wait untill marriage anyways, on bc again and with a condom, my secong daughter was born when i was 19. twice i had sex, twice i got pregnant, the second time i also go hpv which caused me to get cervical cancer while pregnant. I started dating my now hubby when i was about 10 wks preg with that daughter. never thought it would go anywheres becuse of my situation., to a while to be able to talk to him about it because i felt ashamed. We moved in together, he was there when i had my daughter. we got engaged about 1 1/2 years later and then got married. THEN we made the decision to have sex. after we got married. we did and the first time was 2 weeks post bc and we decided not to prevent pregnancy and very happily got pregnant right away. BUT now, for the rest of my and my childrens lives, i have to live with knowing that our son and the baby on the way our not fully blooded to their sisters becuase i thought that just 1 time was okay. ITS NOT, I wish that i had waited till we were married. i go not regret my children. they are a blessing and i love them the same as my children born in wedlock, mu husband loves them all the same. my husband had to deal with the thought of possibly loosing me becuase i had sex before marriage. my heart will always hurt for not waiting, and i know it will always be a tension in our relationship luckily we can work through it. So please please 14 is to young and a 14 year old needs to wait, im not saying till marriage but untill they are able to make a decision that may impact the rest of there life!