05-04-2009, 10:24 AM
|
|
Family Member
|
|
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 4
|
|
is it time to leave?
My wife and I have been married for almost five years now. I have two children from a previous marriage. 13 and 10. She seems to be so critical of them. This weekend it was from time we got up till bedtime. It was a very rainy weekend so we couldn't go outside. Obviously, this is not isolated incident. It has been happening off and on for five years now. She is the kind of person that just lives for conflict. My nerves are so high, it's just terrible. Nothing is ever done good enough for her. On the other hand she is usually nice to me. It is tearing my heart out to see her treat my children like that. Especially with summer coming up so soon. That means they will be with her all day while I work. Help, ADVICE Please.......
|
05-04-2009, 10:37 AM
|
 |
Forums Manager
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,143
|
|
|
Have you spoken to her about the way she handles the kids? You need to both be on the same page with disipline. You right that you do need to put your kids first but could it just be a case of different parenting styles?
|
05-04-2009, 10:47 AM
|
|
Family Member
|
|
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 4
|
|
|
I do the discipline, when either gets into real trouble. It's the everyday nagging, such as put the toilet seat down, that bed is not made good enough, the towel is laying on the sink instead of hanging in it's place. All are good points, but a two hour lecture is not needed 24/7
|
05-04-2009, 10:53 AM
|
|
Forums Manager
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,143
|
|
|
No thats true but its hard not to nag when the little things happen over and over again.
Do you think that some parenting classes might be a good idea? It sounds like it's not your relationship thats the problem but your just not agreeing over how to deal with the kids?
I found a list of house rules helped because then everyone knows whats expected of them.
|
05-04-2009, 11:09 AM
|
|
Family Member
|
|
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 4
|
|
|
Yeah, I understand that, and it seems the little things are what bothers her the most. I have tried to talk to her....WoW. That opened a discussion I wished I had not opened. But seriously, she is 46, raised 3 kids of her own. I'm 44 these are my only kids and things are really stressful at home. I do want my children to do everything to make her happy but this doesn't seem to be working.
|
05-04-2009, 11:16 AM
|
|
Forums Manager
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,143
|
|
|
How about some sort of family therapy?
I wouldn't give up your marriage just yet but don't let the problems build and build. Is this a new problem or is it something thats only come on recently?
I hate to suggest this but could it be your wife is starting to go through the menopause an is struggling with her hormones? I'm a short temper witch when I have pmt.
|
05-04-2009, 11:37 AM
|
|
Family Member
|
|
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 4
|
|
|
It's a possibility, this problem has been happening for years now. Last summer I did send the boys to therapy "they didn't want to spend the entire day out playing" so they went to therapy. I didn't see that help much, but was willing to try anything.
|
05-04-2009, 12:18 PM
|
|
Family Member
|
|
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1
|
|
Originally Posted by bobbarker
My wife and I have been married for almost five years now. I have two children from a previous marriage. 13 and 10. She seems to be so critical of them. This weekend it was from time we got up till bedtime. It was a very rainy weekend so we couldn't go outside. Obviously, this is not isolated incident. It has been happening off and on for five years now. She is the kind of person that just lives for conflict. My nerves are so high, it's just terrible. Nothing is ever done good enough for her. On the other hand she is usually nice to me. It is tearing my heart out to see her treat my children like that. Especially with summer coming up so soon. That means they will be with her all day while I work. Help, ADVICE Please.......
I would say if you're not happy, move on, life is too short to live it with people you don't get a long with and don't like.
|
05-04-2009, 12:19 PM
|
|
Forums Manager
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,143
|
|
|
I don't think it's a problem with your boys. Kids are handful and they sound like typical boys. Your wife sounds like she needs to have some help and some stratagies to cope with the them.
|
05-07-2009, 09:13 AM
|
|
Family Member
|
|
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 42
|
|
|
Bob,
How much exposure did she have to your children, to get to know them before the marriage? Did she know their habits and ways going in to the marriage?
You said that she lives for conflict, and that nothing is ever done good for her, is this referring to her relationship with your children only, or you also?
Could it be that the attitude towards their lifestyle is just a symptom of a deeper problem? it could be that ( as Mollymae replied) she has a stricter idea of parenting, although petty little things shouldn't upset the apple cart.
It doesn't sound proper that you had a discussion with her and you wish you hadn't, unless you handled it aggressively or nastily.
|
Previous Thread Next Thread
| Thread Tools |
Search this Thread |
|
|
|
| Display Modes |
 Linear Mode
|
|
|
|
|
|
