[jess83]

Hi there everyone,
I am quite concerned about my son's friend. He is the same age as my son who is 4 years old and it has been a few occassions tht has concluded me to ask advise, there are also other ppl concerned too.
Well it's over a couple of years these things have been happening, i am also friends to the child's mom. I will quote my son's friend as 'L'
1st, at the age of 2, my son was potty training and was playing upstairs with L and used the potty, all of a sudden he was crying, I asked what was wrong and he said tht L has bitten his willy! (My son is very bright and talks well) Sure enough there was teeth marks and his mom did shout but was laughin about it as well and the next day told everyone.
When they started nursery,(age3) L dropped his trousers and pants to my son in the classroom. L also use to follow him to the toilet and my son didn't like tht. My son also told me the one time that when him and L went to the toilet together, L was touching his willy and he didn't like it.
I also took L and my son to the toilet, we all went in the same cubicle and after L finish weeing he went to rub is willy on my son going wooo & i told him off. After tht i never let them go together again. I have noticed that when L is round my son he rubs and tuggs his willy thru his trousers. He as also done this when a friends baby has been round there's and her baby is 2 yrs younger.
My friend also said tht the mom told her son (L) to show the friend how he pulls his skin back on his willy. And when she told her about L (her son) biting my son's willy, L said shall i bite R's (a friends baby) willy. He also does what the mom calls a 'willy dance' and she finds this all funny!
Is it me or is this not normal from the age of 2 to do these things, i mean kids learn things from what they are shown, watched and what's been done to them. I can't ask 'L' as he is well behind and says yes to everything and doesn't understand much. L's mom did live alone but now recently has a boyfriend and palms her son off to her mom's every weekend so don't know if he is being abused it's stopped. L just know to much about this than he sud know at his age.
Some advise please!

[Samual]

I have no idea, but willy playing is totally normal, at the minute Jamie wants to show everyone his, he knows that area is 'dirty' too as he threatens to touch Mikey with it when they fall out and he has never heard anything like that before.
The biting is very odd, I'm used to one of the boys suddenly being naked, but I definately havn't heard of willy biting before.

[mrmnmom82]

I sounds like he hasn't been told that his body is private. His mother laughs at his behavior, which is possitive reinforcment to continue it. It seems he just thinks it is a toy. And therefore has no understanding that it is not ok to touch someone else's private areas. I sounds like bad parenting. And I would take it upon myself to explain to "L" that what he's doing is not ok. That your son has private places that no one is allowed to touch. That's your responsibility to your son. And if the mom is really a friend of yours, I would share your concerns with her.

[vanaden]

that to me is disturbing , and the fact that his mom is laughing at it??? um hello???

[deedee1231]

Honestly, if anyone, even another child, had ever bitten my son's privates, they would no longer be allowed to play together. I don't think that is funny and I don't want my children to ever get the idea that it is ever ok for anyone to touch them there.

[jmmv08]

I don't think that is funny either. It’s the responsibility of the mom to explain to "L" that what he's doing is not right and it is not ok to touch someone else's private areas.

[jess83]

I have told her about it and she see's to ignore, she isn't a very good mom in my eyes. My son know tht it's private tht's why he doesn't like it. The mom even got her son(L) to show another friend how he pulls his foreskin back and she said u have to do it every now and again to check it??!!
I know willy playing(to urself) is normal as my son has his private times in his room, tht's just exploring his own body, but not for someone else to do it to him!! I never have them round mine anymore, i stopped tht. I have recently found out that L is followin my son to the toilet and keeps going into the same one as him and my son said he doesn't like it, so i have mentioned t to the teacher and they are not going to let him go with my son. thanks for the comments all views welcome. xx

[mrmnmom82]

If you don't trust that the boys can be together without this innapropriate behavior, I wouldn't let them play together. You obviously can't control school play time, but I'm glad the teacher is going to make sure bathroom time stays private. But outside of school, I wouldn't let my son play with someone who continued to violate his privacy that way. This isn't like not getting along or sharing a toy, this is more serious in my opinion. And if "L's" mom asks why you don't come over for play dates anymore, I would be honest and say it's because you believe a person's body should be respected, and you can't be sure that will happen at her house.