[kristina526]

This is my first time here so hello everyone.
My husband and I have been together for 13 years. We have an 11 yr old daughter. She is our life. We are a very close family (game nights every other night, dinner together everynight, the two of them take karate lessons together and are now brown belts, etc). Now that I am 31, my biological clock is ticking. My husband and I would love to have another child. We talked to our dd about it, and she is 100% against it. She said are family is complete and fine and we are all happy.
I know the idea would have to be scary for her, she has been our life for 11 yrs. My husband thinks we should go ahead and try to have another one, but I am thinking maybe we waited too long.

Any advice would be greatly appreciatted.

[twinzplus3]

My children don't get a vote in when I have children. How could she possibly understand, good and bad, all that comes with having a sibling? This is definitely a decision for you and your spouse. Good luck to you.

On a side note, I'm moving this to a different thread so that it gets seen more.

[DivasMomma]

My aunt got pregnant when her daughter was 9...her DD HATED the fact that she was going to have a sibling...she didnt want anyone taking her place with mommy and daddy

well now my new cousin just turned 1, and his sister LOVES him! It was an amazing thing that happened after he was born...his sister saw him and it was immediate love. I say go for it....esp since she is a girl, i think she will take to a new baby just fine!
GL!

[mollymae]

I guessing, but I imagine the reason she's so against the idea is she's had her parents completely to herself for 11 years. Given the choice of having my parents to myself or sharing at 11 I'd have said the same. That doesn't mean its the right thing to do. If you want another child then it should be your decision not hers.

I have a friend who has 11 years between her first and second and her daughter dotes on the baby.

[Alejandros Mommy]

Hello and Welcome

MY 1st was 7 years old when I had Aiden (our baby). We included him in the doctors appointments..the U/s and even the baby shopping. I really think this choice is yours to make, your child should have no say if/when you have a baby. I bet she will enjoy having a sibling and knowing that she won't be alone in the world once your gone. Good luck Trying to conceive

[abeeenormal]

Hi
My Uncle Bud told my dh and me "never have more than 2 - because then they outnumber you". We are having two.
Abby

[MommaColleen]

My older 2 were 10 & 12 when Emma was born. My DD Erin (the 10 yo) was absolutely furious when we told her I was PG. She said horrible things to me and was so rude to me for almost a month. Once I took her to the Dr with me and shopping for some things she warmed up to the idea.

Now Emma is 4 months old and Erin doats on her all the time. She comes in the door from school and before she even takes her coat off she is hugging and kissing her sister.

Good luck with whatever you guys decide.

[mrs_ray]

I think it should be up to the two of you, not to your child. She may not be completely thrilled (or even slightly, for that matter) but in time she'll accept your choice. My husband and I may or may not want more children after this one is born. I do know that I want to wait until our daughter is around five or so until we try again, but the choice of whether or not we do it will be based on what we want - not what our daughter wants. It's great to make your child happy, it's another thing to fall trap to manipulation. Maybe it's not as severe as that, but I take it at least SOMEONE here will understand what I'm saying.

Life is never a bad thing.

[maryavan]

I agree that it isn't your child's decision. By all means try to for more, esp. at just 31. Just think if you are busy w/ a baby, your dd might be able to get away w/ more stuff as a teenager That's a plus for her. Plus, it's another pair of hands that might help change your diapers when you two get old...

We've been worried about having widely spaced kids. Mostly my worries at having to start over from "scratch" when I'm almost half way done w/ this one. My ds was 7 when we first got preg again (we had 3 m/c in 11 months). He was nervous that he wouldn't be loved as much and was a little apprehensive about his life. He was almost relieved when we lost that on. W/ second pregnancy (which he helped cause), he had gotten to the point where he'd gotten over most of his worries. The loss of the most recent m/c was hardest on ds. He's getting used to the idea of m/cs, even assuming we might have 12 before we get a baby. But after all the losses, at 8 yrs old, he KNOWS he wants a sibling--girl, boy, half-dog... whatever, he absolutely wants one. He says he'll change all wet dipes. He's getting impatient for us to get the dr's okay to try again. I try to tell him lil sibs are nothing but trouble--he doesn't care. At least he can't accuse us of ruining his life later. I tried to warn him it was a bad idea, but he wouldn't listen... I'll say.

Best wishes if you do start trying!

[angelic_ky]

this is yours and your DH decision not hers... i was 10 when my mother fell PG, when she informed me that she had finally fallen (i already knew they had been trying as mum was having trouble falling and had to go to the DR etc) she also told me that i was to help her with the baby; i thought it was great that i would be able to play 'little mother' to the baby; anyway, my point is that maybe if you get her involved she will be more accepting of it