[stephanienminnesota]

Hi all! I am Stephanie. I am married to my best friend Chris and next July it'll be 5 years. The problem I am having (and sorry if post is long and whiny) is that a few years ago he worked with this girl who really had it in for us from the start. The 1st time I met "Dixie" I got a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like from the get go she would flirt extensively with him when I would go into where they was worked. At that time, I was pregnant with my 3 year old. When I was 8 months pregnant I heard that they had messed around and it was right around x-mas. I got so upset I took all his clothes and was ready to throw him out. I took him back and tried to forget that it ever happened. Unfortuneately, She came back into our lives like a year or two later. She has done numerous things to have me call police on her. My husband calls me this morning pissy as hell (Mind you I am 13 days away from having a C-section for baby #3.) and says that tomorrow is her b-day. I hate this girl and could care less about her. He tells me that we're going out with her and I am like I can't do that. DS #1 has an outing for school tomorrow night that I promised him we would go to. Plus, I have to meet with surgeon tomorrow and take DS #2 to dr.cause he's sick. Well, now He is telling me I am being too jealous and blah..blah..blah.. Am I wrong for not wanting to hang out with someone who has once tried to kill me? I would much rather hang out with my kids than go sit in a bar and watch those 2 "catch up."

[wanna be a young mother]

All I have to say is your a BETTER women than me b/c if Dh EVER "messed" around he'd be sitting in my front yard with our dog!

He is nuts to even think you would be ok with seeing a women he has been with. I would never want to lay eyes on her again. To top it off you are VERY pregnant and dont need this stress. Your dh needs to cut ties with her period! Stand up for yourself and tell him NO! Stay home with your kids....I am sure your right and It will be more fun! Sorry if I seem a little crazy but my Best friend just went through something like this and I just dont understand how men can be so dumb to a womens feelings sometimes!

[purelegance]

always trust a woman's intuition, rarely are we actually wrong. there is no way my husband would be having any contact with her, and to h**l if we'd be going to dinner to celebrate her birthday. your husband should be going to the school event, the surgeon and the doctor with you, after all his family should be coming way before any former mistress.

[Alejandros Mommy]

I agree with Jen...I have had a man cheat on me and I can tell you this....more then likely they do it again!! If my DH did this he would never be allowed in our home again and would be sleeping somewhere else! You are indeed a better woman then me.....I would have told him either me and the kids or her...you choose...but if he chose her he wouldn't see his kids.

Sorry I sounds harsh but I have been through this (not with my Dh but a former fiancee)....and will never be anyones door mat again..

You need to talk to your Dh and have him listen to you....and you both may benefit from counciling as well. This is not right.

[twinzplus3]

I have to agree. I have to say too. . .what exactly is your husband's motivation in this? My dh would have nothing to do with anyone I was uncomfortable with and vice versa. I just can't understand a man that would think differently. Of course I'm with the other women, if my dh 'messed around', he'd be on the street. . .we don't have a front yard!

[mabear74]

If you were willing to to forgive him the first time you would think he would have been man enough to at least have no more contact with her....You have enough going on in your life, that you don't need your day ruined by spending it with her....That is an unreal expectation.....I would consider counseling.....

If that had been my Dh, and I had somehow found it in me to forgive him, the first time I found he any contact with her again he would have been out the door.....You don't deserve this!

[stephanienminnesota]

Thank you all! I talked to him a little bit ago and he tried to tell me I couldn't "rule" his life. To that I got down right p*ssed off and told him If you can't break your ties with her then get ready to do it with me and the kids cause I will leave. He says he only talks to her b/c she was preggers the same time I was preggers with Jake (my 3 yr old) and apparently had the same due date as her but her baby quit growing at 22 weeks and she had to have it then. I just don't understand b/c the father of that baby flew to Minneapolis to be there when he was born. I have asked him numerous times to cut ties with her but this time I am done b/c I am so stressed out right now I am starting to think I am in labor.

[DivasMomma]

Ahh! No calm down...your baby is more important right now...i had some of the same issues with my husband...i never found out if he had ever cheated ( we werent married at the time, but he was 20 and young and dumb) but i had that pit feeling you explained...now we are married and he grew up a whole lot (baby number 2 changed that haha) but i still wonder about the past sometimes...but your husband just needs to understand where u r coming from...do u guys just get into a yelling match when "she" comes up in conversation?

[floresazules]

You need to come down and think only about the baby, I know is hard but just praid a lot and ask God for help or whetever you eligion is.
And I think after the baby is born you need to ask your husband to make a decision, it sounds like, you are to much of a woman for him and deserve better that that. I know is hard and it hurts but belive me its better to be alone that with someone who dosen't care about you.
Best of luck and I will be praying for you and your baby.

[JeanLynn81]

Wonderful advice flor! This post is a little over 3 months old. I do wonder what happened to her.

Stephanie-if you happen to come back and read this-we'd love an update. How are you?