[caringmom]

i am 37 years old... i never really quite was sure i was sexually abused but i did have some "memories" from my childhood.... this past weekend i had to travel to see my family unexpectedly, due to a family member passing away. while i was visiting my family, my sister came to me privately and apologized for touching me inappropriately when i was a child... this was the first time in my life i really knew this happened to me and that she did this to me... i don't know how to deal with this. i am angry, embarassed, ashamed i didn't realize this wasn't right as a child. i thought she loved me and I idolized my big sister.. she's 8 years older them me... i looked up to her... we have another sister who is close to me in age, and i was always very cold to her... she would just want a hug from me and I remember, especially in our teen years, i just wanted her to get away from me. i didn't want to hug her and didn't want her hugging me... i think now the sexual abuse was the reason i punished her... i did tell my mother, who i asked to please not tell anyone and my husband.. i don't know if anyone else should know... i don't know how to get over my angry and the questions why... i don't ever want to discuss this with my abuser again.. she's my sister and to the rest of my family, i have to make like nothing ever happened... can anyone shed some light on this for me.. this is all so new, i don't know which was to turn and i am haivng such anxiety over it all... thank you so much for reading my story...

[mcmama]

If you don't remember things, or you are just now realizing that what happened was not normal, then you likely need some therapy to uncover what has happened to you. Don't worry about getting over the anger, the anger is a normal feeling which now you've been triggered to express.

When you are ready, you should tell your husband. Give him a chance to be supportive of you.