[LosingWeight1990]

On June 2nd, 2008 Hunter Tank, 14, one of my family friends, passed away from complications from a bone marrow transplant... It was a huge loss in my community. I have known his family for almost 16 years. I know that i may have not known Hunter very well but i knew he was an amazing friend and didn't let anything hold him back. He was an amazing fighter. For the last 2 years of his life he fought his cancer. But unfortunately he was too weak to fight. He will be missed so much. He was so young but was all ready the good talk of the town. Helping in his community in any way. He was someone to look up to. Everyone including his classmates will miss him dearly. RIP Hunter.
And............................................... ..........
I got a phone call this morning (6-10-08.) around 4am... My friend from Arizona Patrick. He passed away. He's been battling leukimia for 4 years. This year is his graduating year... When he was first diagnosed 4 years ago, he wouldn't let anything stop him. And i have always been behind him telling him he can do it. (well phone wise)
(6-10-08.)Today was a horrible day for not only his family but also for those who know him. he passed away @ 2:34am. I wish i could have been with him... It makes me sad that he's gone but i know he's not suffering anymore.
I met him while his family was visiting a friend (for a month) here in Richland. I was at chuck e cheese with some of the children i was babysitting and we just started talking. And his eyes were like a whirl wind and just drug you in.... We became friends instantly. Oh he was gourgeous! And nice and man oh man. I would have dated him right then and there but i was dating someone else. He was only staying for another week and he had to leave back to arizona.. So every chance i had i hung out with him. We texted constantly and talked alot over the phone. and even talking online sometimes... I wasn't much into the computer about 5 years ago... but have grown to not be able to live without it... Well Patrick first told me about the leukimia the day before he left... We hung out pretty much all day. It was a saturday and he was to leave the next day. It broke my heart! I was so mad at him for telling me and then having to leave soon after. I didn't know much about leukimia. and for that reason i was mad at him... I couldn't believe it. I didn't talk to him for about 3 days... And then he called me wondering what was going on... And basically i told him that i was hurt that he had told me and not explained it... he then told me that he didn't know anything about it and would let me talk to his mom about it. I told him not right now... So we talked about how much fun we had when he was down here... Oh boy. It was an awesome summer. I won't ever forget it.
He came to visit about once every 5 to 6 months. (up until about 9 months ago.) He didn't have alot of money but his parents helped him out. The first time he came back i was so thrilled. He came by himself and stayed at the friends' house. I spent alot of my time over at the house. He was only here for a week but every minute i spent it with him it was great... I skipped school just to go hang out with him. (now i know i did wrong by that) but i couldn't help it. We remained close friends but never any more. And i liked that. About 3 months ago ( i got a call from his mom telling me his treatment stopped working and he was in critical condition in the ICU at the hospital.. I wanted so badly to go down and see him but i couldn't. I didn't tell anybody about him. He was my friend. And we were "secret friends" although his parents and older brother knew. But none of my family did. They told me that there was a chance he wouldn't make it. So i requested that i talk to him even though he was in a drug induced coma. They held the phone to his ear. It was the hardest thing to do. Talk to someone who you knew may never make it through the night. The next day i got a phone call from his brother saying that they took him out of the drug induced coma and he was awake but barely alive. So again i asked to talk to him. I told him that he can make it. He's the strong one in his family. And he said i know. Very softly but i could tell he could hear me. I started crying. I knew that he probably wouldn't be around very much longer. So i asked him to call me everyday. And he did. And we talked about 15 to 30 minutes at a time... We talked about 5 or 6 times daily. Oh how i loved to hear his voice. It gave me a sense of calmness. About a week ago... He didn't call me. Instead his mom called me and told me he's taken a turn for the worse. His lungs shut down and several other things. he went on a breathing machine. I wanted to talk to him even though he wouldn't be able to talk. I told him he has to make it to his graduation. He was set to graduate earlier then his actual class. About 3 weeks earlier. He improved enough to go according to his doctors. They granted it but said he had to return as soon as it was all over. He agreed. He graduated on Friday June 6th. I wish i could have been there to see him. No strings, tubes or anything attached and with the help of 3 nurses and his counselor he walked across that stage with his head held high. I was sent pictures from his mom a couple days ago. (6-8-08.) It was amazing.
That night he was back in the hospital. He was fighting a severe case of pneumona and his lungs shutting down. I talked to him yesterday, 6-9-08, and told him that if he needs to go. He can. He can't suffer anymore. We talked for 4 hours last night., 6-9-08, Fearing the worst last night i also talked to his mom. She told me that she would make sure to send me a memory of his that we both shared.
This morning 6/10/2008 at 2:34 am Patrick took his last breath.
The one thing that hurt me the most was that i couldn't be there with him. And, 6-9-08, last night before we hung up... He told me he loved me.
I got a picture in my email this morning, 6-10-08, of him without all his tubes.
He lost his battle with Leukimia but has won his battle with school as he would say. Graduating in front of family and friends was what he wanted most in his life. And he got it. With help from nursing staff and his counselor he walked across that stage at his graduation. And for that i commend him.
The day after his death... I just started crying like out of no where. and couldn't stop....
RIP Patrick. AKA Pattwick.

One can only take so much....
Does anyone have advice on how to deal with this.... Because i don't know what to do and i don't want to stress out or anything. It can effect the baby.... gah! Help please?
*if there are any mistakes... date wise. let me know*