[luvsummer]

My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. We decided to wait until marriage to have sex, but we ended up falling into a rut of no sex, and very little touching otherwise. Now this year he turned 30 and wants kids like ASAP. It is very difficult to begin having sex and get pregnant so quick. We have had sex a few times recently, but I don't feel the intimate connection that I hoped that I would. Partly because I think we waited SO long, and partly because there is sooo much pressure from everyone around us to have a baby. I'm so tired of all the "so when is it your turn?" questions!! I find that a very personal question. I love my husband but how do I get that intimacy back? He deserves it so much, he treats me like a queen and has been very patient and understanding with me up until this point. I'm not secure with my self -esteem or body image which may have a small something to do with it. We have reached a cross-roads in our relationship where it's either fix this or leave each other. Does anyone have any suggestions for me?
Thanks

[littleKelly]

Well I would stay you need to start with making love to your husband, if you are in love with him and the only missing thing is the sexual connection then what are you waiting for. You did let it go way to long and its probobly not normal for a guy to hang around as long as he has. so that says alot for the man you have. but it is time for you to give him what he needs as well as yourself needing that connection. He has been patient but if hes looking for more, finally. that he might be looking elsewhere as well so think about what you might stand to lose if you wait.

[DealDebbie]

Yes, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes you pushing the baby carriage.

So work on the love. And the lovemaking.

And while you may be insecure, remember, it takes two. He may have some insecurities of his own. So the communication is very important.

And just tell everyone else to back off, you are not having kids right now because you don't want to just yet. No need to tell anything else.

[littleKelly]

You ever try things to spice up the romance maybe use of porn, or trying in different atmospheres. maybe you need to see if you have feelings with another man and him with another woman and see where you are after that. Not that cheeting is good but if you have no connection maybe the jelousy that comes with cheeting will rekindle the lust for each other. Or it will give you the answer its over. Either way sex is a must in any relationship if your not having sex your not in a relationship. Experiment with anything you can think of, sexy lingerie, sexy clothes, you have to try something you dont normally do to feel alive again and bring back the spark. maybe start with oral sex and go from there.

[luvsummer]

I have tried all that. I just don't know what it is, but it's not there. I feel dead inside, and it really scares me. I think it may be too late. Which really sucks because everything else is perfect, we both have good jobs, a big house with rooms ready, a big yard and a family that would be ecstatic to find out I was pregnant. I'm nervous because we had sex about a week ago unprotected. I went off birth control because we thought it was affecting my sex drive.

[littleKelly]

Is the issue more with him or with you? has he not been there or has he not shown you support? Or do you feel like you were withdrawn from the relationship the whole time? Are you just waisting both your lives if you dont love him? How long have you felt disconnected? why did you get married? have you been living to please everyone but yourself? ask yourself these questions and you will hold your answer of what the right thing to do is. Divorce is final once the papers are presented you loose everything for ever you cant say opps. you loose friends, family members, you loose those fun hang out spot becouse you wont want to bump into each other. you would end up having to move and completely start over. both will. is there love between each other for one another and just no passion? if so ever thing of an open marriage? not for everyone but helps some out.