[pcdctr]

I found this site and want to post this to get some feedback on what I should do, I have an idea but want feedback. I got married 3 yrs ago, and then adopted my wifes child, we are going through a divorce now, and I was gonna treat it like a normal divorce and pay support and see the child. The wife has this attitude that if we are divorcing she wants me to sign my rights back to her, she has conjured up stories that the child is all of the sudden afraid to be around me, just for an excuse to keep her from me. Instead of using this child for leverage I thought it is best I do relinquish my rights, cause its not fair to the child. wife even filed the divorce and there is no violence in our history in anyway, I am a police officer and work with kids, she wants to make me look bad, but shes messing with the kids mind to do it.
Bryant

[Alejandros Mommy]

First of all....I think you and your soon to be ex should both go to divorce councelling. This will look very good on your record...esp if you initiate it. The counseling is just to help you 2 work out your problems for the benefits of your child(ren). Please do not give up your babe. He/she probably thinks you are his/her daddy. They WILL feel abandoned if you do not see them and sign your rights over. They may even think it is their fault that you are divorcing.

Being a police officer works very well for you. Please ask your boss and maybe a co-worker to do up a reference for you. That way you can prove that you are a good person to your child.

I hope that things will get resolved and that you can be "the bigger person".

Good luck

[stacyo99]

The first thing is to figure out what YOU want. If you want to relinguish your rights, just remember that it IS forever, it cant be reversed at a later time. I have heard of people who have relinguished their rights, and were still made to pay child support, as they had supported the child prior to their relinguishment. That wouldnt be right to pay support, and not even see your child.
Its in your childs best interest to have both her parents in her life, it would be detrimental (almost like a death) if one parent one day never came back. You dont know what your ex may tell your child as years go by.
But, if you really feel its in YOUR best interest to relingish your rights, then, maybe you should.
Being a police officer, you know the law. If she filed false police reports, she could be in trouble for that. If she lies in court, you can file suits for defamation of character, slander, etc.
If you choose to NOT relinguish your rights, I highly recommend, from even now, to start documentation, as this can help you when/if y'all go to court.
If she is messing with the kids mind, you can have a mental professional speak with them, and the mental professional can determine is she is being neglectful, and if she is, you know, the judge will see that its in the childs best interest to be with a non-neglectful parent.

[IsaiahsMomma1023]

My husband and I are going through a divorce and he agreed to relinquish his rights to our 3 month old. In our situation however, we are divorcing because my husband refused to go to work, had an anger issue, and spending issue. His dad died shortly after I got pregnant and he couldnt deal with it. Instead of seeking help he became distructive, started lying about going to work, and spending $400 a day on things such as games, when conrfonted he would punch the walls and doors, throw things, shove me.. not the man I married and our son was becomming an innocient victim. I had left him in the past and he promised to get help and fix things and he didnt.. this time its over. He is upset about relinquishing his rights but he understands. I told him I would let him see his son when he gets his life together. Now he is enrolling in school, looking for a job, etc. In my case I asked him to relinquish to protect my son. But I am willing to let him see his son if he shows he is getting his act together- (seeking counseling, holding down a job,etc). I am not going to seek child support.
I only say this because it seems like there is a bad rep for those who request relinqhishing rights. I am not sayin in your case you should. If you have nothing to hide in the divorce, then by all means fight it. It sounds like she wont let you be involved if you do relinquish. But I also dont know all of the story but based on what you said you should fight it because she can then legally keep you from seeing your child