[chrisjames1122]

Hi everyone, my name is Chris. I just registered here and I am looking for lots of female perspectives on my situation. I am 21 (yes I know, kinda young) and I keep thinking ahead to when I have kids. My question is this, At what point do you think a person should SERIOUSLY think/plan for children?
Here's a little background on me. I am the middle child (four girls and me) of a single mom, thus I matured a bit faster then my peers. I am currently serving in the Air Force and inspite of my friends and CO's disapproval, I think ahead to that time in the future where I marry and have kids. I know that it may/should be several/numerous years away but I guess I am a bit of a planner.
I'm just looking for honest opinions. Should I forget kids and live/roam free til I'm 30-ish or really start planning for the day when my future wife says shes carrying a mini-me?

[purelegance]

personally, i wouldn't set out a plan & let things go the way they go. you're in the air force, so it's no wonder you're thinking about kids -- most of your mates are [at least] married i'm sure. i would say -- roam free for now. you'll settle down when you find the right girl, trust me! i'm 21 now, married with a 10 month old daughter and wouldn't change it for the world. it's the right life for me, because i did all the partying when i was much too young. a lot of people are age aren't ready to settle down, that's fine. it doesn't sound like you're dating anyone now that you would settle down with, so don't. live it up until you find her.

[VinniesMommy]

It all depends on how you feel about things. Don't rush into a relationship just because you want kids, that will never be good. But I had my first son when I was 20. I knew that I didn't like the party scene, or anything like that. I knew that I wanted to settle down with a family. Luckily I found a guy who felt the same way! I wanted to be a mother early, because I didn't want to be 80 when my kids graduate high school and college. I wanted to be the "cool" mom that understood things, because I'm not "old fashioned". I wouldn't change my life for the world, I'm now 23 and have 2 handsome sons and a gorgeous daughter. So, to answer your question, it's not crazy that you think about things like this. I wouldn't "plan" per say, you might drive yourself crazy that way, and just be ready to settle down with the first girl you meet just because, but keep it in the back of your mind. And if while planning you grab things here and there for future baby, that's even better! You can never have to much baby stuff, haha!

[KR258]

I don't think you should forget about such things if that is what you want in life but if you haven't found that special girl thenI wouldn't dwell on it. It will happen when it happens. If it happens before 30 then don't sweat it...whenever you find that special girl take your time and don't rush things but you don't have to wait till your 30 just cause your friends think you should. You should do what is best for you and only you know what that is.

[QueenAngie]

Welcome to the board!

Certainly, it is important to plan ahead for future events.
You are young and have a life time ahead of you.
Enjoy your freedom right now.

Date and find just the right young lady to marry.
Since you are wishing to be a father in the future,
be certain to discuss that you want to have children.

Start saving your money now. Weddings, babies, houses,
children's college educations all cost $$$$$!

All the best!

[chrisjames1122]

Thank you all for the comments.
Just some more info: I am not currently in a relationship. I do realize it'll be a few years before this gets too serious. I just feel...abnormal, i guess. Most of the guys in my unit are married or engaged and they all joke (but being kinda serious) about how I shouldn't even think about a wife and kids.
I'm the kinda guy that goes to a party and ends up just hanging out, not actually drinking/ "partying"; I don't have the desire to. While there are things I would like to do before I settle down, I think I'd enjoy it more if I had a wife and possible a little girl to share the experiences with (i.e. seeing most of the US/roadtrips).
I'm not completely focused on just getting married, I'm more a planner and so I look ahead at how I can begin to establish a foundation for supporting a family. It seems strange to me how alot of the people near me in life believe I shouldn't even hint about this topic. I guess I just want to hear other poeple tell me I'm not "crazy" or something.

[KR258]

My dh was teased because we were engaged when he was 20 and they all said he was moving too fast and needed time to "try out" other girls and to "party" and enjoy his 20's but he is very happy with the path he chose. He doesn't enjoy drinking or acting stupid and sleeping with many females like his friends think he should. The best thing to do for your future is save money and don't waste it on stupid things. Still enojy yourself and go on trips if you like but I wouldn't waste money on doing things you don't enjoy becasue others think you should. You're def not crazy or strange.

[VinniesMommy]

My husbands brother ((who is older then him)) is single, no kids, and he tells him all the time that he is dumb for getting married and having kids so young. But that is just his brothers lifestyle. He likes to party and "live it up" so to speak. But for some people, that is just not their lifestyle. They want to settle down young and enjoy THAT life. You're not crazy at all. That is just the lifestyle you desire!

[chelloz]

It never hurts to have dreams and goals in life it will help you with a direction in life. Just remember to do have a career and enjoy life and that special someone will fall into path when you least expect it whether you are 21 or 31 it will not be too late to have children. Good luck.

[etali]

My circle of friends has young married people with kids, slightly older married people without kids, people in their 30s who got married in their 20s but waited for the kids bit, and people ranging from 20 to 50 who are still single. They all wind each other up (about being under the thumb, or about being too 'selfish / irresposible' to settle down) - but it's all in fun, and they're happy.

Do whatever makes YOU happy. If you want to settle down and have kids, go for it. If you'd rather have the freedom that being childless gives, do that instead. There are positives and negatives to both sides, only you and your future wife (whoever that may be) can decide what is best for you.