[mcmama]

OK, so what do you think of this?

Slain Preacher's Wife Wants Custody

She was on Oprah, and even if everything she says is true, I am not sure she should have custody. The kids have been with the grandparents, and went through quite a trauma themselves. I understand visitation, and think this is probably a good idea for the whole family, but custody is a whole other thing.

It must be awful for the grandparents - to have to deal with her when she killed their son. And now that they have been raising the children for a few years through the ordeal of the trial, this just puts everyone back into chaos again.

[QueenAngie]

I do not personally know this woman, the grandparents, or the children.

I had read in the news that the grandparents had not allowed the children to see their mother while she was incarcerated or in the hospital getting treatment. I sense that the grandparents have seriously tried to remove the mother from the lives of these little girls.

This woman has paid her debt to society. She is in counseling. She is working fulltime. At this point, it appears that her life is on the mend, and she is trying.

Prior to the murder, she was considered a perfect parent.

I view her as an abuse wife. Abused by her husband and she had nowhere to turn to.

But Mary Winkler described nearly a decade of marital abuse. She said he struck, kicked her, screamed and hollered at her, criticized her, blamed her when things went wrong, and made her watch pornography and wear "****ty" costumes for sex.

I doubt she has access to any weapons at this point. She has lost 'everything.'

I do not know if she should have full custody, but she should be able to have visits with the wish for her children to return to her home.

After all, how many parents beat their children, neglect the children, don't feed the children, do drugs, and yet the system automatically returns the children to these bad parents?

What are you thinking about this?

[pattiewrites]

She'll get them, just like OJ got his kids. My heart breaks for those kids.

[JeanLynn81]

Angie I was thinking the same things. Good points made.

[mcmama]

It's going to have to be one or the other. I really don't see joint custody working out with the grandparents. They get a raw deal all around. And really, since they have been taking care of the children during this trauma, and they are grieving the death of their son, that deserves some respect.

I don't totally buy into the abuse thing. She may well have been abused, but those on this board who have endured extreme abuse have not committed murder.

Regardless of the justification, I question whether she is healthy enough to raise the children at the present time. She may be over it and have paid her debt to society - but I am certain that their grief and healing from the trauma is nowhere near complete. This is a huge task.

[MissyChrissy]

Originally Posted by mcmama

It's going to have to be one or the other. I really don't see joint custody working out with the grandparents. They get a raw deal all around. And really, since they have been taking care of the children during this trauma, and they are grieving the death of their son, that deserves some respect.

I don't totally buy into the abuse thing. She may well have been abused, but those on this board who have endured extreme abuse have not committed murder.

Regardless of the justification, I question whether she is healthy enough to raise the children at the present time. She may be over it and have paid her debt to society - but I am certain that their grief and healing from the trauma is nowhere near complete. This is a huge task.

I agree with this. If you're abused, you get help & get out. Take the kids & run to a protective shelter. You don't kill.

Is there any evidence that he did abuse her? I haven't followed the story...so maybe there were previous reports...but if not, then it's only her word.

I too feel sorry for the grandparents. If it were my grandchildren and someone had murdered MY child...you bet I'd keep that "bleeper" away for life. I'd be tempted to repay the favor.

[twinzplus3]

I don't want to see her get custody. She may have well paid her legal debt but how could she repay her 'debt' to her children and that family? Rather than run and hide, she chose to kill. I can understand being in such emotional duress, and I've worked with enough abuse victims to know that there are some women who truly believe there is no way out but her actions have severe consequences. I don't see how she could ever rebuild her relationship with her kids.

[pattiewrites]

I agree Valorie. I wouldn't say she wasn't abused because my mom worked as a counselor for abused women for many years and its shocking how many professional and respected men are raping and abusing their wives behind close doors. She once told me that police officers and preachers are among the very worst she has seen! This doesn't mean its in the best interests of the kids to be with her. They have been traumatized followed by listening to the grandparents trash and condemn mom on a daily basis. I'm sure that's part of the reason they "have nightmares".

But I still think she will likely win. Nicole Simpson's family fought OJ and he still won. Even though he was found responsible for the deaths in a civil court. In the end it didn't matter. To clarify, I don't agree with it, but knowing our system, I would hardly be surprised! I feel terrible for those kids. How can they grow up normal now? It hardly seems possible!

[twinzplus3]

All I can say is so true and so sad. ;-(